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WTH over? - Private picture debacle. - I guess I'll play the devil's advocate for a second and share an opposing point of view. And this isn't meant to be offensive, just presenting another way to look at the initial question/complaint. First off, and I've mentioned this time after time in different posts, there is no one correct way to swing, to post a profile or to live a swinger life. If your opinion (and I don't mean you, as in the poster of the thread, just a generic term) is that people should show their faces and it irritates you if they don't, that's a fine opinion to have, but it's just that, an opinion. If you are in a position in your life that you don't mind if friends, family and co workers know you swing or see graphic pics of you, possibly from another source other than you sending them, or from a random search through a swinger website, that's great. It might be empowering and refreshing to some degree. However, some people don't feel comfortable with that or may actually suffer harm to their reputations, face loss of income or have other unwelcome things happen to them. It has happened to people and the threat, even if just perceived, feels very real to some. We live in a prejudicial society that places its values and norms on others and sometimes punishes those who don't comply with that version of normalcy and moral behavior. It seems an understandable worry to me and to others.
" If you’re truly worried about “your job” or others seeing you than maybe you’re in the wrong place?"
That doesn't make much sense to me. Though taking a break now, we have been successful "swingers" for many years and we were always careful and had a worry about certain people finding out. We know many, many others who feel the same, so to say we might be in the wrong place doesn't hold much water as anything other than your preference for who you meet or how you prefer a profile to look.
As with all aspects of life, but let's direct this to swinging, there is no black and white, right or wrong. Personally we have always tried to bend our preferences, to give people the benefit of the doubt unless there was a glaring red flag or we were not in the least attracted because of what we read, profile pics (attraction) or something else that wasn't attractive or inviting to us. But no worries. There are a lot of different people with different needs and expectations. It is always fun for us to expand our prejudices, learn new things, try new things and step away from a list set in stone that we need to follow. That being said, we have our own preferences and opinions on what we are looking for, but that's all they are. We understand some people want to meet and fuck after a quick hello and exchanging a kiss. Some want more of a poly relationship. Some will never play in the same room while others demand it. There us a beautiful spectrum to life, to swinging to...everything.
Just my opinion, of course. You may limit meeting some amazing people by creating strict rules about what you expect, especially related to profiles. Many new couples are super sensitive about even being on the site. But if that is what works well for a couple, great. That's how they do it. It would be wonderful to be in a place where we could all be honest and open with everyone we knew. But we don't and we can't, or perhaps it is just we choose not to because of the severe consequences we may face. I respect people's choices to progress at their own speed, to exchange face pics when they feel comfortable with it and to feel safe in the situation they are working in.
For us, and the way we know many of our friends do it, the public pics are a little bit of an appetizer. The private pics have traditionally been more sexy and naughty. Then we have 20 or so face pics in the folder that we specifically have to give access to. Our reasoning is that some people want to add you as a friend so they can keep track of you, show interest, or yes, sometimes just see pics. For those pic hunters especially, we don't share face pics unless we are interested. It provides a level of comfort and security for us, even if it really isn't that safe and only gives us warm and fuzzies. It also is beneficial when nosy people are snooping on the site to see who they know, and even though it doesn't worry you, it worries some.
Last up, we too have frustrations about certain profiles or they way people progress with their pics and such. But we certainly think they have the right to be swingers in whatever capacity they choose. If we don't like something, get too frustrated, we move on. But we do it knowing the other person or couple is swinging as they choose and we support that.
I think the forums can be fun places to share ideas. It's a place to learn about others and see an opinion that you might not agree with or haven't thought about. Or, it's a place to ramble on about not much, so if you have read this far, good for you. :)
xoxo
Mr SRO
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - wife in gemini...husband is leo
Symbol Question - -
WEFLY,
Not a guru, just takin a guess. Amy could be correct in that it maybe referencing swingers. LOL. I was going for the literal approach.
-Don-
Proud member of
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - It seems the bad experiences with a few select single males has lead to such "hatred" in the lifestyle. We don't have an interest in playing with single males but we can say that for the most part they have been very respectful upon our reply. Hopefully as time passes the single male will continue to get a better name and those that are disrespectful will be in the minority.
R&S
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - Tonight’s password is another weird one… 🤪🤦♂️
Walk up to the security desk, motion like you’re casting a spell, and shout “ALAKAZAM” followed by either… “I came to hunt ham!” Or “I came to hunt clam!” depending on your preferred taste. 😂😂
Swingers of Color - - Yes I believe DNDNMIA have the right attitude.... Get to it... lolol
Male anal stimulation - - And some wonder why the norms of the world call swingers perverts. There a lot of women that don
Another Swingers Show on TV - - Channel 222 on Comcast?Xfinity 8pm this Sat.
First time stories, wanna share? - - You can go to Alt.Sex.Stories (http://www.asstr.org/) or the Kristen Archive (http://www.asstr.org/~Kristen/). There are tons of stories, a few of which are actually well written, about swingers first times. You'll have to wade through some garbage to get tot he good ones unless things have changed since I was last there several years ago.
Mr. Sexperimentors
Body Size - - [quote=DRAR09]So I'm unfortunately a chubby girl, but I'm working on it. Hopefully this doesn't sound shallow because eveyone has a type they're attracted to, but are most average men in the lifestyle looking for girls of a smaller body type? Are us bigger women disregarded just by a picture or headline before anyone tries to get to know us? This isn't meant to be confrontational, but does a woman's personality matter more or less than her body?[/quote]
It depends on the man, of course. Some men do value personality over body type and some definitely value body type over personality. It's the same for women too. In fact, on average, we've met more women who are extremely picky about body type, etc. than men. And body type isn't the only thing that can be a deal breaker for people. Age is also a line in the sand for many swingers. For others, things like smoking or drug use can be big factors in choosing play partners. And there are MANY quite minor factors that people use to weed out people they may not want to play with.
I think it's probably because swinging is more or less a fantasy activity and people are looking for a certain type that hits most or at least some of their checkmarks for a fantasy partner.Those may be body type, hair color, ethnicity, age, or one of many other criteria.
The really interesting part, to me, is how people are often FAR more forgiving of certain physical characteristics in their own partner than they are in someone they want to have sex with. Yet they often get upset when other people also have that same attitude.
I do think, though, that people kind of get in their own way a little bit and in their search for the perfect swing playmate often overlook someone who is on many levels a good or even great match but not a perfect one. I think they're probably missing out on a lot of fun and a lot of good sex.
