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How Do you Tell - Need to Know - [url=http://www.mademan.com/mm/how-tell-if-someone-swinger.html]How to Tell...[/url]
How To Tell If Someone Is A Swinger
By: Sherrie Hurd
Break Studios Contributing Writer
Want to know how to tell if someone is a swinger? It is fairly simple to tell when taking certain details in consideration. A swinger is someone who is in an open relationship which allows each partner to date other people. Whether it is in marriage or just as boyfriend and girlfriend; swingers are very open to options outside the relationship.
The first indication of someone being a swinger is their overly friendly disposition. Swingers are usually very eager to please whoever they meet even to the point of purchasing rather expensive gifts for their new friends. Contrary to what most think about them, they are not overly flirty as much as just extremely helpful and courteous.
It is all in the eyes. The gaze of a swinger is different than that of others. They usually make solid, more aggressive eye contact with those who they have affection for. The majority of their flirting when first encountered is done with their eyes. The eyes are the most effective and safe ways to gage reactions.
Swingers are very "touchy/feely". A sure sign of someone being a swinger is their desire to make repeated physical contact. Swingers love to hug and even touch the shoulders of arms of the object of their affections. At times their desire to make physical contact is overwhelming.
The swinger is always quick when suggesting a dinner date with their new friends. What better way to get to know others than to throw a dinner party with drinking and invite 'prospective' friends. Swingers know that their lifestyle is a minority lifestyle that some have an aversion to. Couples in an open relationship always want to approach 'hooking up' as delicately as possible.
Although swinging is an alernative way of life, it is becoming increasingly popular in todays more tolerable society. More and more couples are learning to accept the mechanics of an open relationship and allowing their identities to be know either through discovery or outright announcement.
Posted on: Apr. 02, 2010
How to find other swingers - - Are there any codes that help to identify other swingers.
Why is same sex marriage really such a big deal - Just rambling, could be interesting... - KOIMOO,
Marriage is not just for rearing children. It's a committment of two or more people to live together or "partner" for X amount of time. It's a contract. Some religions say until death. One of the outcomes of some marriages, can be children but even for a great many of them, children cannot or do not occur. For you to make such an all-encompassing statement is ignorant on your part.
Marriage can be for many things including but not limited to love, convenience, lust, children, foolishness, money etc. Whatever your reason, it should be your own decision as an adult. We all deserve equality. We should all be able to marry who we want to marry. Marriage is a contract in the eyes of the law. Any humans that are of consenting age should be able to marry. It's not your place or mind to determine what suits others.
If you want to speak of evolution. The process of selection makes that trait which is less favorable cause the eventual demise of the genetic line involved. If humans or all animals for that matter, were endanger of your fear, homosexuality would've been selected out a long time ago. The truth is, it's been around since before upright humans and will continue to go on. For you to deny someone equality for such reason just shows how naive you really are. Your argument counts against every marriage that doesn't seek children. Sexuality has nothing to do with it.
If you want to use [i]"evolution"[/i] as an argument against marriage. Let's deny everyone who has a genetic defect in their family the right to marriage. Come on people. We live in a society that's meant to be free and we have people constantly trying to deny it to a certain group because of bigotry.
To the religious folks,
When these oppressed people have had enough and the fires start, I am gonna bust out the marshmallows. To all you religious swingers out there that defend this non-sense, you better believe if some church was trying to deny me marriage to the love of my life, I would cook me some churches. Give me liberty or give me death. That's my motto. Fuck any motherfucker trying to oppress that which many have died to give me, my freedom. Take your bible and jam it in your fuckin colon.
Some of you might say, "Delete this post! It's offensive" or "Get TR out of this site, I am tired of the offensive posts". Let me just say this. This subject offends me. What you are saying to gay people is offensive. I can't believe after the advances in civil rights we've overcome in the last 1/2 century, we're still dealing with bigotry to the point where bigots have the majority to pass bigoted laws. Where does that majority originate??? The Christian Church. The only difference between these fools and radical islam is that the oppressed in the Middle East fight back. Here we let it happen. I say get this shit calling itself Judeao/Christianity out of our government and public for good! Secularity will give equality to everyone. GAWUD has no place in government.
[i]"Although a political subject we can all learn that tolerance is a virtue not all of us have. Same sex marriage is a way for people to stand together with some one they love. Whether physical or emotional. Same sex marriage is not an emotional problem but is in fact a legal problem to many. Our courts, family services are clogged with cases for hetero marriage problems, and now add same sex marriage to the quotion. The average divorce with children involved can take up to 14 months to conclude. If you add same sex marriage that would stretch that to almost 24 months and bring issues the courts are not prepared to handle. I know you all want to attack religion but this is only a small portion of those that object too same sex marriage. Gay couples can adopt although more diffacult it does happen, can a partner recieve money if his/her partner dies? yes they can especially if the child concerned is not of legal age. Marriage is a legal contract not religious, living together and treating one another with respect and love is the moral side of any marriage legal or not. "[/i]
 Rights to equality shoot down your argument that it would further "clog" the system. Just as saying the same about interracial marriage. Would you deny a black man and white woman marriage based on that same reasoning, if it were still illegal? We somehow managed to take that extra load when it happened.
 Our government wasn't prepared to handle 9/11 with airport security and we created TSA. I am sure we can handle same-sex marriage. ahaha. I love some of these ludacris arguments.
 Religion is not a small part of the objection to marriage. Religion is on the forefront.
 Recieving money for death, isn't the argument. It's equality. Gay people should have the same right to marry the person they choose just as you do, with all rights and priviledges.
Why are there so many swingers from Utah? - - So many beautiful people in Utah... come down to Florida...one of the SWING states...LOL
Singles who are married and cheating - - better get a cup of coffee cuz this is gonna be a long read:
there are a few things you have to take into consideration when you decide to be in the swinging lifestyle. i think the biggest thing is finding out if your spouse is into it. most people, i think, go into a relationship knowing what their spouses boundries are. and then there are couples who evolve in their relationship and the more trust they have in their relationship, i would think it would be like a "coming out" of sorts. like..."hey, um...honey...the johnsons next door are having a party this weekend...and we were invited" "Really?" "Yeah, and i hear its one of THOSE kinda parties" "well, honey..we better wear our crotchless underwear" i dunno..something like that..like, at some point you decide that swinging is for you, right? or you go into a relationship knowing that swinging is an option.
if you go into a relationship knowing that swinging is definetly not what your spouse is into or in the evolution of your relationship you decide swinging is right for you, and your spouse isnt into it, and under no circumstance is it ok....then, in my humble opinion, you arent in the lifestyle. now, if you come to some sort of open relationship agreement if your spouse isnt into it but agrees to let you get some strange, fine. if you take it upon yourself to sign up for a swinging website behind your spouses back, hook up with couples behind your spouses back, then YOU ARE CHEATING!
if you are cheating, then you are just asking for trouble:
1. you are being dishonest
2. you are bringing your drama into someone elses life whether they know it or not. what happens if the wife finds out and shows up at your house party with a shotgun?
3. what happens if you get an s.t.d.? you bring that home with you to your spouse, and if you have them, your children. even if you use condoms you can still get s.t.d.'s, its happened.
4. when your spouse does find out, and they will...you are humiliating them in front of their friends, family, job...cuz somehow they all find out. that leads me to believe you have no regard for someone elses feelings so why would i want to swing with you?
5. you are giving other single people, male or female, a bad name and reputation.
6. you are giving swingers in general a bad name and reputation.
jenn and i are honest with each other. we are not in a place where we are gonna swing separate, we communicate and talk things out so we have a full understand of where eachother is at, at any given moment. if jenn or i didnt want to swing anymore, or if we wanted a break from it, we talk about it. we arent perfect by any means, but we do our best to consider eachothers feelings in this lifestyle.
we dont invite drama into our lives so i would have to say...no, we dont swing with someone who is cheating on their spouse. we would both suggest that if you feel the need to cheat that you should either talk it out with your spouse and seek external help or if you dont think that will help, you should consider ending the relationship. this is all just our opinion. we know its easier written or said than done. but if you arent happy with your spouse, why would you drag them down with this? communicate..compromise...talk it out..but dont be a cheater, cuz its not cool.
Partners with hall Passes - - Bummer you haven't found single guys worthwhile. (This is the Mrs. by the way.) I guess we have just been lucky in that department. So many people bash single guys and I just don't understand why. We play separate more and more often. We have a harder time finding single women or women with hall passes. Maybe because I am the picky one :) I mean if I am going to share my incredibly sexy and amazing man she better be worth my night alone watching the kids! So ladies, please let me know if you're game to play. All you need to do is read our profile to see what "worth it" would mean to us. I also find it amusing how so many swingers claim to be open minded then are incredibly judgmental of people who choose to play separate. What is up with that? It isn't always easy finding couples where all sides are attracted and ready to get naked.
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Reply or don't reply for requests to meet? - - Their emotional response probably has more to do with their over all experience with the lifestyle than to anything you said or didn't say did or didn't do. Here goes my thoughts.....
People have a hard time emotionally disconnecting. People can be irrational. Sometimes we do not know why the react as they do but then we do not know the back story. They, or we may be associating something they, or we said with a whole lot of experience that had nothing to do with our or their intent. Our primitive brain functions which include release of the chemicals that color emotions have full access to our prefrontal cortex where we have the power of reason. With all the reasoning capability our prefrontal cortex manifest, it has very, very little ability to turn off our more primitive brain. The pathways just are not there. So our primitive brain has full chemical access to our bodies and higher brain but our higher brains do not have equal access to alter our primitive brain and emotional responses. So we have an emotional reaction, which our reasoning cannot turn off, so in order to try and make our minds match the emotion we are feeling we alter our reasoning. It is called making a mountain out of a mole hill. This loss of reason manifests as irrational behavior and can lead to resentment and negative premeditations such as revenge and violence. Sex drive is emotionally charged. Sex chemicals defy reason more than most and so do the chemicals associated with anger. So the brain function design flaw can make the emotion verses reason imbalance more dramatic when sex is involved. Knowing that, Swingers should recognize that just because you feel angry it does not mean you should be angry. If you let negative emotions color your reason you may be acting irrationally. Drama, drama, drama is what you get. Our rational, reasonable minds are capable of unbelievable accomplishments. Through the scientific method we have cured many, many diseases, we fly all over the globe, we travel and live beyond our atmosphere and under the sea, we share and communicate with small hand held devices and we even form internet social groups that revolve around specific shared interest. The sphere of accomplishments is too long a list to name let alone full understand. No one person can understand or master one, one millionth of all that has to be learned and mastered to make all this happen. So we are capable of incomprehensible collaborative efforts. And yet, we fight and we bicker and we accuse and we are sometimes unreasonably suspicious.
Reason without emotion is perhaps safe but not much fun. We want to experience emotions with friends and lovers. The secret answer to successful social interaction almost seems to be to master the art of recognizing when something is positive and healthy and then let the flood gates open up jump in and be overwhelmed and if something is just not right to back off physically but to also emotionally disconnect.
The something that is just not right, that may be leading you into angry, sad, or fearful paths may be more within you than without as well. If what is inside you is ugly or afraid emotionally and you let that color your reason then that may be all you can see in people and the world without and you get caught in a vortex of anger or fear. People think they become emotional because of their paranoia but in fact they become paranoid because they were negatively emotional and then the paranoia fed the emotions and on and on.
I have attached a link to a video I found this week quite by accident that speaks to this and quite a bit more. For you that are into physics professionally or as amateurs, that will enjoy scrutinizing the math, as far as the math goes, to me I see where this is going but the statement is made
really appreciate the "lifestyle" - wanted to reflect - i wanted to repost pretty much a reply i wrote in another forum...
it started out about our thoughts on the first time with someone new...
was trying to convey our feelings that getting to know people over time made the exp better...
and well it seems like more than that in re-reading it... or it could be the painkillers... so if the typing is bad thats why... thxs please enjoy...
"1st time is never the best, that is why we like 2nd, 3rd, 4th and so times, making friends,(does not have to be buddys, or move in with you) people you can talk to more than about sex... is what really makes the life great...
our continuing story....
rich has a severly broken leg right now... the people that are making life work for us for the most part are swing friends, some are on the site...
we had just contracted on a house befor rich's leg, closed from the hospital, a couple we have known for a while got a truck and moved us in our new home... the wife of a couple (on this site) has been taking rich to his appointents, which until recently were every day, her husband fix and painted one of the rooms in the new place just befor the move in... rich's best friend, a single male (on this site)has been there, and a single female friend has been too... many other couples have come by and done a little even if it was a ride to get lunch or dinner... and rich really appreciates the sympathy blow jobs...
not everyone you play with will make a connection, but trying for that connection is the best part... and for us, right now, if not for the swingers in our lives, we would be lost in trying to works things out. "
SM's and Bootycall Postings.. - Really guys.. get a clue. - This is Lia...specifically.
Single males?...hmm..I've had plenty of single males over the past 5 years who make their pointless attempts at hooking up with me and or my husband in a three way scenario. Granted, I am about as adventurous as you can get. I have no specific problem with the single guy hitting on me, but the drama that tends to wrap itself around me after is just something I don't need or want. I was very into a single guy a couple of years back and he did actually become one of my best friends to this day and is now married, but that, in itself, was riddled in drama created by nosy, big mouthed people who always want to start shit instead of minding their own business. If you decide you like someone for a while and are seen with them more than not, people say you are "exclusive" and try to put false damage on your marital status. Get a life, assholes.
So...single males?...Enjoy yourselves...be respectful...and don't get too excited thinking you're every married couples answer to their failed marriage..swingers, when they are stable, are out there for fun. We may want the occasional single, we may not. It's about choice. My choice, at this time, is to refrain from said single guy, lol...but kudos to those of you "gettin some"...it's all in fun. Or at least it's supposed to be.