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Escorts - - That is how we actually got started in the lifestyle and unlike some of the people who have replied here that have probably never hired someone, we know a little about it. It just depends on what you are looking for. As an older couple, we like threesomes with young 20 somethings. That is not easy to find. When you do find someone, you have to worry about them developing a dependence on you, feelings for one or the other or both of you, etc. Charlie Sheen said it best when David Letterman asked why he would pay for sex, he told Charlie basically the same thing RANDMR told you, your good looking, in shape, in his case rich, etc. Charlie's response was "Dave, I don't pay women to have sex with me, I pay them to go away afterward's" That's why we use escorts, WAY LESS DRAMA! That being said, unless you go where it is legal, you have to be very careful. In Florida a solicitation bust puts you on the Sex Offender registry for the rest of your life. There are ways to protect yourself. First and foremost if you do nothting else we recommend, DO NOT GO TO BACKPAGE!!!!! Sorry Marisol, but that is LEO's favorite place to set up stings. Especially now that Backpage does not allow nude photos anymore. Used to be, stick with girls with nude photos, not LEO (entrapment issue if they use nudes, even fake nudes). Now, none of them have nudes.
If you do it right and not be cheap you can be safe and not get busted either. There are several reputable Verification Websites that you can join. In most cases, membership won't cost you much more than this site does. The providers are reviewed by other clients so you know what services they provide, if they are any good, what there attitude is like, etc. You also know that they aren't LEO. On the sites we use, the Provider can give you with a verification or Okay once they have seen you. We have several Provider Okays on our profile so when we contact a new girl about seeing us, she knows right away that we are legit too. We can email you details off the public forum.
Oh and BLUEIDKAT doesn't have a clue. First off, We are in no way immature nor are we stupid. We have been with providers that, had they been at the Swinger's Club the night before, they would have had there pick of people in the room. Most of the provider's on the sites we use do not Escort for a living, they have regular jobs. They escort for the extra money and for the fun of it. If they do it right, they can have as much fun as you do. We have NEVER used a girl that worked for a service. We took one girl with us to the Bahamas for a weekend, it was probably the best vacation we have ever had except for our Honeymoon and both of us agree, it was real close to eclipsing that. If the escort works through a verification site, they don't need and most of them don't work for a service. We have been with girls that when they leave, you would swear you were just with the love of your life. You just have to look around, just like on here.
As for STD's; We have seen a whole lot more skanky couples and single guys in the Swingers Clubs. You have no guarantees anywhere that the people you are about to fuck are clean. You have to take them for there word. At least if you use one of the sites, if a provider has reviews from several months or even years back in many cases, had they given someone an STD, it would be reflected in their reviews.
As for Bareback, We have NEVER had one offer to go bareback if we paid more. However, EVERY Single Male we have hooked up with from here or other Swinger sites and even one of the couples we were with on a Couples Cruise tried to stick there cock in uncovered! We ALWAYS have to stop them and have them cover up. The escorts bring them with and most of them put them out on the nightstand when you get started making it very clear what the rules are. In fact, every girl we have used a toy on insists that the toy be covered too, Clarification, not other swinger women, just the escorts!!!!
All of the girls we have seen have been very clean. Many insits on showering, all 3 of us, before and they shower right away after. We have had some that will only use certain brands of lube. One who would not take a bath with any bubble bath, etc. to keep from getting any kind of allergic reaction. You need to ignore the comments from the ignorant. They know not what they speak of.
It's like everything else, if it's something you want to try, and you are comfortable with the morality of it, get the facts and give it a shot. Send us a message if you want us to tell you the sites we use. We would be happy to share more of our experience with you.
Curiosity - What pitfalls should I watch out for? O.o - The biggest pitfall is being a single guy itself. Just leave, get a girl and come back as a couple. It's just simple logic, allow me to explain:
Why would a couple get with a single guy when there is an abundance of hot couples which include a guy and a girl? Unless the other dude is bi, then you are on your own.
If you are over 30, male and single there must be something seriously wrong with you, no excuses. People break up all the time. So take a break, set a goal and come back to the real fun with a girl. Without a girl you'd just see how the fun goes in front of your eyes. Is like arriving a the track without a thoroughbred and then you'd want to ride everybody's mare. Guess what? No one would give a shit about what happened to you. And your X will be banging some douchebag while all this happens.
On the other hand, this is a great time to be single. Younger men are flat broke and hot younger girls are going for older guys. Go get yourself into a serious relationship with an early 20's college chick. If you have 1/2 an ounce of game, are not a douche and a little something to show for (car, apt) you should have no problem. I've seen the dorkiest, dumbest white college guy, skinny and with facial hair with some hot yet shy asian girl at a damn classy swingers ball near JAX FL. Shit if I become single I would not last a week in the market with so much college pussy out there annd I'm 43.
Also, it is also easier to turn younger chicks, especially nowadays, into swinging I turned my loving wife when she was 22 and she's been at it since then.
Yes, I am a douche, but I have a hot wife, we get along well with other couples, love to flirt and party and we play with hot couples often, more frequently that we'd like to admit lol. Your X may be fucking some douchebag but she's gonna get upgraded. This is it. Go get em' big guy.
Keeping safe - Single females staying safe - Terry,
That's all fine and good but you don't think that a guy might just SAY that in hopes of changing the girl's mind later? I'm not questioning your integrity or motives just saying that, in general, many guys will say and do just about anything for sex. I could easily imagine quite a few scenarios where a guy could come across with seemingly good intentions but have ulterior motives. Hell, we've had guys write us and ask to meet them and their wives (without disclosing that we're swingers) and suggest that we get the wife really drunk and then have sex with them. Again, I'm not saying anything about YOUR character or motives, just that because a guy SAYS he won't play with his "date" doesn't necessarily automatically make him trustworthy. YMMV
ps- We won't EVEN get into the subject of things like date rape drugs which by many accounts ARE being used in the swing scene by nefarious individuals. [em]Emo_8[/em]
Big Birthday Bash 12/17 - In Tampa @ Night Moves II - Come and celebrate Kim & Rick\'s Birthday Celebration at Night Moves II
on Saturday, December 17th. If you are already a member of the CALIENTE AND PARADISE SWINGERS Group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/calienteandparadiseswingersII/ , go to their message board for a great deal being offered by Night Moves II. Please note that you must RSVP at http://nightmovesii.com in order to get the special rate. Kim\'s birthday is the 17th and Rick\'s is the 22nd so come out to hang out with all of your friends, both old and new.
PS: We also starting a fun yahoo group if you would like to join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/orkos/
Polyamory - Any thoughts on an exclusive 3 or more partner relationship? - One thing to help is swinging is not poly and poly is not swinging. They are two distinct differences. Swinging is about the physical aspect - sex (and friendship of course), while poly is about love (poly - many, amory - love -- many love).
Many people who live in a triad or a poly relationship started off as swingers, but due to the emotional conflict between many "typical" swingers, chose to go into a more poly lifestyle.
Ok, here is a lot of information here:
Just a little of what I know on the subject. Is it possible, yes, but there has to be a clear understanding, a very strong love and a willingness from all involved to address any issue that arise.
The same could be said for an open relationship; works for some, not for everyone.
wanting to play - 3 some or more? - It's your zip code. Everyone knows there are no swingers in Rigby. The hotbed of swinging in Southeast Idaho is Rexburg and St. Anthony...and possibly the greater Malad/Preston metro area. If it were me I'd put a personals ad in the BYU-Idaho student paper or the jobs board in the student resources center. Something along the lines of "Hot sexy couple seeks young nasty co-ed as live in love slave and sex toy. References required. Please sext a naked pic and a list of your fav postions and kinks to TATTOOCOUPLE11."
UNDERSTANDING - Needing some understanding - Well, looking at the definition on Wikipedia Swinging is defined as: \"a wide range of sexual activities conducted between three or more people\".
There is nothing inherently straight about the swing lifestyle. I noticed in your profile that the two of you (Poet and Dawn) go to great lengths to point out that you are straight. I think that it is wonderful that the two of you are so comfortable with your sexuality but think it has been taken a bit far by your numerous mentions on your pics and this post. Those of us who are straight can not entirely understand the feelings of those who are bi and vice versa. You should simply understand and congratulate those people who are liberated enough to act on their feelings and live the lifestyle as they see fit.
Nobody is asking either of you to do anything that you dont want to do. And simply listing the both of you as straight in your profile should be sufficient. It would be entirely inappropriate for anyone attempt to cross the straight boundry that you have clearly indicated in your profile. A wise policy would be to not question or frown upon the feelings or practices of others. We, as swingers, are in the business of breaking boundaries and accepting practices that the general public would distance from.
Inconsiderate - Lack of consideration for others - Then perhaps you should edit your post, MAUI, to say that "the vast majority of people in the lifestyle THAT WE'VE ENCOUNTERED IN THE EXTREMELY SMALL GROUP OF SWINGERS ON MAUI are super shallow and don't give a crap about others". Maybe it's just Hawaiian people in general who are super shallow and don't give a crap about others. Or maybe just people on Maui. I'm really sorry your swinging experiences haven't met your expectations. And believe it or not I'm not trying to rip you a new one. I genuinely feel badly for you. Have you explored other options? Travel, obviously. How about other swing websites? Swingular is big here in Utah (it was started here) but there are few members almost everywhere else except Florida. And the part about Maui being family oriented...have ya HEARD about Utah? LOL A very wise swinging couple once told US that the way to be successful in swinging is to first get rid of you expectations (so you won't be disappointed) and then to approach each situation and couple looking FOR reasons to connect and play rather than looking for reasons not to. I'm not saying play with peeps you aren't attracted to or are not compatible with but far too often it seems swingers look for reasons WHY this or that couple isn't perfect and they end up being disappointed that they can't find anyone to play with. Try some different websites. Host some meet n greets. Hell, host a house party and invite people similar to yourselves. Just a few thoughts. Good luck.
Why are there so many swingers from Utah? - - So many beautiful people in Utah... come down to Florida...one of the SWING states...LOL
cuckold couple - Just curious - Cuckolding usually refers to a humiliation element - a woman is with another man while husband or bf gets off on being shamed, humiliated, knowing she is with someone else, hearing how much better or bigger they were, etc. It's fetish that some enjoy. Not something I would enjoy personally.
There's also 'hotwife', which is more where the man enjoys seeing or hearing about her with other men, seeing her pleasure, seeing how desirable she is, aroused by the sight or hearing about it more from pride and appreciation of her sexuality, beauty and pleasure. This can be at different levels - from merely bragging about a sexy wife and having men acknowledge that, to her flirting and teasing other men but always coming back to him, to minor or major sexual adventures.
'Cuckolding' is usually seen with a derogatory and humiliating element as a fetish, while 'hotwife' is pridefully showing off or sharing.
Although, both terms are used interchangeably at times, they have a different connotation.
There's also cuckquean - a woman who enjoys her man being with other women coupled with derogatory or humiliating elements.
There's probably a male version of 'hotwife' - 'sexyhusband'? - but I'm not aware of any particular term that's popular.
Personally, I get the hotwife/sexyhusband idea much better. We both take pride knowing we're desirable to others and yet committed to each other. That's probably the general feeling most swingers have.
Cuckold/cuckquean isn't a necessarily a bad thing (if both are into it), it works for some people, but many find the humiliation element not enticing.