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Saturday up North - who's out for fun in the ogden area tonight? - Dear smedine beep in the swingular system maybe... but I still am in clearfield utah, and still have the nasty!!!!! store and giving 50% off to swingular swingers today on all items.. and maybe free if things go well smiles if you know what I mean lol. so come see me and say hi so remember are friend at swingular 50% off thats one hell of a deal on adult toys...!!!!!! thanks luv all walt 801-525-1583 store phone....;)
KINKY BY THE CAMPFIRE - 3rd Annual UTAH Campout - We are going to try as well. Damn if we cant get all the CO swingers to show up in UT. LOL
Tooele County, Ut - - Any swingers in the Tooele County area (Especially Grantsville and ESPECIALLY SWE in Grantsville) interested in a get together? Bar B Que? Football game? etc...
I drive to SLC everyday for work and it's the LAST place I want to hang out!! LOL We would love to meet some locals! Please drop a line if you are interested!
[b]Kim and Dale[/b]
Rules - - This is not merely an issue on Swingular, but is a mind-set that we have encountered on every site we have belonged to, in every geographical area, and at many parties.
Seemingly the single ladies get the accolades, while their counterparts, the dreaded single males, get the proverbial foot in the ass.
Is it fair? We don't think so.
However, it is what it is, and not likely to change soon.
I'm sure that everyone has an opinion as to why this occurs (opinion/assholes being synonymous; everyone has one). Here are a few of our thoughts....
Perhaps one could say that this disparity is due to the fact that most couples are searching for females...either single or part of a couple?
This is only PARTIALLY true as there are many swingers that are not looking for singles of either gender. Many couples are, in fact, only looking only for other couples to share friendship and intimacy.
Perhaps the old adage "Men are a dime a dozen", comes into play?
Well...one has to admit that yes...us guys really are rather numerous. Regardless of being within the Lifestyle or out....you can always find a guy, willing to hump your wife. Go to any vanilla event to find that out.
Many might say that all single guys are pushy ass-wads, that lack the intelligence, class, or sophistication to show respect and patience towards a couple that's willing to share intimacy with them.
Again, not totally true. We have met many polite, kind and respectful single men. We have also had numerous run-ins with females...both single and married, that have been just as crass, obnoxious and presumptuous as the most obnoxious single guy anyone could imagine. We like to call them the Bi-Nazi's: you know...the "it's-all-about-the-women" types.
This brings me to yet another mentionable. There is also an unspoken "assumption", that just because any individual of the female persuasion is involved in swinging...she's automatically "bi-curious", "bi-sexual", or "just doesn't know that she wants to be yet".
The obvious outcome of this mind-set is that unwanted advances, groping and attention comes towards the females/couples that are not looking for this type of interaction. Ironically, the same advances made by a male, married or single...would be dealt with severely in most cases. However...with the ladies...many consider it "appropriate", if not expected.
Do you see the double-standard? Somewhat hypocritical I would say.
Many get so caught up in stereotyping, and outcomes having to look a certain way, they are quick to assign social roles to various members of our Lifestyle. In the process, they forget objectiveness, compassion, and open-mindedness. Isn't that what we, as swingers pride ourselves on, "open-mindedness", and being "out of the box"?
Ok..since sweeping swinger social changes (wow, say that fast three times...haha), are not likely to happen...Siren and I elect to manage what we know we can, and that's ourselves.
We never expect anyone or anything to be anything but themselves, and let their actions and behaviors be the ultimate factor as to how we interact with them, regardless of marital status, gender, or seeking preferences.
What would you do? - what does a person do when their spouse no longer wishes to paticipate - Well.
How amazing that the "couple in question" just happens to be in my home town. And my wife and I are at a serious impasse about the same subject, but in the "traditional direction" i.e. I still want it. She still doesn't.
I'm... very surprised that a bunch of Swingers are so unanimous that "No trumps yes": that swinging is just something you do - but are ashamed of enough that any "no" in the group instantly defines the partner's life as well. Why isn't "yes" just as valid?
In our case, we've been married for over 25 years. We've had a very-good run. Our children are grown and gone. We're financially comfortable. And we're still physically capable - as we watch our parents be physically unable to walk, hear, see, pee, or do much of anything to enjoy *anything* - the point there being that I hear the clock ticking and to me, this is THE time of life to reap one's reward for the life one has lead - before it's too late to do anything but try to keep breathing.
And for me, being honest, the ONE thing that is my reward - is erotic fun. Let me be clear that what I crave is *erotic fun* - not just madly try to find someone new to fuck and never see again - but partners who want to wallow in the erotic experience of "Truth or Dare" and Lifestyle conventions and teasing and games. That's IT for me. That's why "doing it" is called "doing IT". And I've been a great husband/father/responsible citizen for over 50 years. And I feel that there isn't anything else in my life that really gives me a "reason for living".
And my wife, bless her, just has never had any passion. She enjoys it when I have sex with her. When I give her a nice massage followed by 3 or 4 orgasms. But she's happy with twice a month or less. And she had no need at all for my "erotic experiences". So here we are. And over the last 10 years we've tried pretty-much every possibility: traditional fidelity, me cheating, us swinging, me swinging alone with her permission... and it always ultimately winds up that the only way she is not *miserable* is if I'm following "traditional fidelity". And the only way I'm not miserable - is if I have the freedom to pursue erotic associations.
Now. If my passion were bowling, there wouldn't be a problem. If her passion were gardening or shoe shopping, there wouldn't be a problem. Everybody would just tell us to do our thing without the other - and enjoy what we *do* enjoy together. But somehow sex is THE one that we have to do *together* or not at all.
So we're very very seriously trying to figure out if we'd both be happier by tearing up a marriage and going our separate ways.
We can all *say* that whoever does NOT want to swing - rules the day, but imagine whatever your very-favorite thing is to do. Then imagine your spouse telling you: "I don't like to do that, so WE won't ever do that and You won't do it without me - and you won't do it alone, either - ever again". Now what?
South Florida Mar.23-Apr.5 - - John (Tech).
Platos has been out of business as a swingers club for about 6 or 7 years.
Trapeze is the biggest and best club in the Ft. Lauderdale area.
anyone in the midwest? - - So, I haven't been introduced to the community, and I think that it would be easier to get introduced by going to some type of event. Problem is, nothing happens around here! I'm not going to be the one who could initiate anything, because I wouldn't know what the fuck to do. so.... how can I get a group of seasoned swingers to get some things going around here for all the newbie's?
Carnival Legend March 29 - April 8 - - Any other swingers out there going on this cruise and would like to meet to meet for a drink or two??
J & L
MARDI GRAS - is it to soon? - the sign left out swingers........
Elusive FMF - Your thoughts? - Hello All!
Forgive the long post - but I simply wanted to respond to what VP stated SO well.
Posted by VP:
Here's a question:
Is it that a single swinging female is all that elusive, or is it just more likely that a woman who's secure enough in who she is to have a liberated lifestyle is probably more likely to have a boyfriend / husband? Thus making it a simple fact of life and society that the whole concept of a liberated single female is for the most part a myth or at best a temporary state.
Guys are programmed to be tomcats. There comes a time when "every boy must become a man". But little girls are taught that "sex is something only for your husband".
Society accepts single males prowling about generally - that's why when a single guy get shat upon in a swingers site, the resultant wailing bears striking resemblance to a chorus of whining mules. They don't get it: "They don't like me? Why? I'm hot..." Now if a woman were to go out there looking for it, then she's branded a home-wrecker, "slut", "whore", or worse. Tell me you'd sign up for that cruise?
IMHO: I think when a couple starts kvetching about the lack of single females, they might do well to have a look at why it is that they want just a woman and not her S/O. Chances are, deep down those same paradigms that are causing the lack of single females are deeply rooted in their own attitudes.
From the "not so elusive" Te:
From my perspective I would have to agree with these statements wholeheartedly. I