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Couples Copulating - How the hell do ya match up? - It is the same for probably 85% of us hun. 4 years in the lifestyle and we are still looking for the perfect match up for all 4. Yes, it does happen, but it is not easy to find the right couple and them feel the same way. WAY more times than not, someone is taking one for the team. We have a rule against that, but I am here to tell you that everyone sees something different in everyone.. Very many people get a bit upset when half of the party is very interested and the other half is not. Example: I find a woman at a party very interesting and sexy and she feels the same about me. Well, chances are that my wife or her hubby is not interested. Well, we have been down this road so many times that we just changed our rules to = "OK, have a good time". This sometimes still does not work as the other couple is still in the (COUPLES ONLY) mode... When it hits right and everyone has a great time it makes all the waiting worth it, but until someone lowers their standards you will be part of the 85%.. The other 15% are made up of: We play separately. Everything DOES gel. Hard core swingers and ok, take one for the team.
The hardest part is when someone in the "said 4-sum" is not going there and sometimes people feel hurt. What everyone needs to remember is that we DO THIS FOR FUN and we are NOT all exactly what everyone else wants. DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL...... Remember it's all about fun and excitement. If something doesn't feel right, DON'T DO IT!!!! Just keep on having fun with all the people that share the fun in the lifestyle and before you know it you'll be sitting around the table the next morning talking about how much fun you had the night before....
advice for non-city locations? - What do you do when you live away from major cities? - HOTTPACPL370, damn all these crazy settings!
Actually, we haven\'t really used the internet for much at all. Instead we did the old fashioned method of going out to \"normal\" bars and meeting folks that way. It\'s a decent way to meet single women. We just figured trying the internet would be interesting since the folks on a site like this are already of a certain mind. At a normal bar you never know what you are going to meet or what their expectations are (like gals looking for a soul mate or husband or something). Of course, that can be part of the fun too! :D
Maybe there are fewer single gals on the site because they can more easily get what they are after? It seems that meeting them is easier done in person, but meeting couples would be easier here. I don\'t have a problem talking to a single girl about what I\'d like (neither of us do), but asking a couple if they are swingers seems like dangerous territory with some people, who could get really offended.
It\'s possible that we just don\'t know the couple dynamic very well, having only had singles (males or females) up till now. Maybe most folks wouldn\'t be annoyed or angry to be asked in person.
single guy bashing - - [quote=MAGNETIC]Single males provide necessary services in the world of swingers, more so than single females. He has to work a lot harder than the single female to be welcomed into a couple's life. Age is not as important as his determination to do as follows. A good single male will stay in good shape, no extra flab or belly. He will be clean, well groomed, dress nicely, intelligent, and knowledgable on almost all subjects, he will be well practiced in all forms of sexual activity, he will be a good listener, kind, gentle, caring, understanding, or rough, crude, and demanding according to what is requested or desired by the hosting couple. He will be able to carry on a quality conversation with both the husband and wife on anything of interest to them. He will not try to dominate the conversation, or the encounter. He will make it clear that he is not there to try and steal the wife. He will make himself available to help the couple do ordinary things that additional help is required or appreciated. He will bring these qualities to the table. A good single male is not a piece of meat that you chew, screw, and then shoo out the door. You'll want to keep him around. Husbands appreciate a single male that is willing to be a good friend, to share common interests, exchange experiences, and to learn from one-another. Male bonding is the term associated with this. Wives appreciate a single male because they are usually entertaining, capable, and are willing to provide her with some excitement that married life loses after some years. A good single male will not do or say anything that will make the husband or wife jealous. There is no place for jealousy in swinging. How can I make such bold statements as these? Well, I was single for many years, married for many years until widowed, and now single again. So, I know both sides of the fence very well. [/quote]
Magnetic, I think your description of the ideal single male should start out with "Once upon a time" and end with "and they all lived happilly ever after".
[b]IF[/b] such a single male does exist in "real" life, not only do I wanna meet this Super Hero - I think I want to turn gay and marry him.
[b]IF[/b] this is what couples are looking for in a single guy, then I guess us normal, average, regular, run-of-the-mill guys are SOL.
Oh, wait a minute - just thought of something................................
Is your description of the ideal single male also your resume?
All in fun, Dude - all in fun.
Sexual Fantasies - - Really?? If this was not the place to find what your looking for. Why ?.. Is there a box that says bi men gay men bi women gay women transvestites ? I think if this site was just for married swingers there would be no other boxes right?. Like Brigham said this is the place. lol.. some folks cant accept change or accept others . And this is a site for sex am i wrong ? To each there own. some folks see this site as a sacred place i guess. Be safe out there ..
Single men, yes/no, why? - - As an admin, I don't normally post but this is a topic I can relate to. I kinda skimmed through this post and all the replies but here is my response to the original post:
I, for one, am very turned on by the fact of my girl getting handled by another man more than from a women. I have thought about the reasons why and the only thing that I could truly tell myself was because it turns me on seeing it from an outside point of view. Also, I've never (as unbelievable as this sounds as an admin/owner of a swingers site) had a true MFF (for those of you who don't understand that... a threesome with two women) experience so that makes me lean more towards the idea of 'pleasuring my women' be it myself or multiple guys.
Now, as I have read, a lot of couples have been successful or ok with finding other men without using a site like this. For me, that means usually friends or aquaintances. That's the hard part for me. My hold back with finding someone are making sure I trust them but also making sure I'm not too close too them. That's been the hard part of balancing things out.
So, honestly, I would love (and jump at) the chance to experience this with my girl but what hold me back is finding the right guys to do it with.
I'm sure the time will come.
tips on playing alone ? - - If the co-worker isn't aware up front that you and your wife are swingers, then her playing with him is NOT Lifestyle related.
If the shoe were on the other foot, wouldn't YOU want to know that YOU were part of an experiment?
If - and I repeat [b]IF [/b]- I were sleazy enough to fuck a married co worker, and then later be invited to play with her and the hubby, I'd tell them BOTH to fuck off.
For crying out loud, people - isn't there still some degree of integrity involved in being in the Lifestyle?
taking one for the team - - Very well said... this is a great topic. Anyone interested in adding it to the Swingers Wiki? ThoughtGarden may have some good words. Here is the wiki: http://wiki.swingular.com.
Swingular-the BEST site out there to date - Best sites to join - I wanted all to know that ever since we joined this site back in 2002, we have found some of the greatest friends and swingers, that we have stayed in contact with through the years through here and our regular e-mails.
We have told all our friends that this was the site to join, over the others, because, for one...you can post any kind of nude pictures that you want, and even pictures of your playing, in your private photos, which other sites we are on, will not allow any such pictures, even in the private galleries.
If it wasn't for this site also, I would never have gotten Destiny's Dance Socials started. We had so many folks want to enjoy our company, and liked the way I played Hostess, so I opened up a place for us all to enjoy, no matter what your age, sex, origin, or size...we welcome all, just like this site does.
I'm glad that we found the site, it was the best thing to ever happened to us, and we enjoy it every chance we get, to get in contact and have fun when we're able.
Thanks again for some great years, and many more to cum!
Tammy and Jeff
Looking for Swingers who are from North FL and actually love to - - Hey are there any other snow ski bums out there like us? We have been trying to find a few cpls who might like to go on a southern snow ski trip (Ga,NC) We think it wouldbe blast to ski during the day and all go find a nice warm fire to warm up after until we get so hot the colthing will have to come off and then let the fun begin lol.
How has swinging made your marriage better? - - Communication (REAL communication) is the key but still it's not enough if someone really wants to stray or outright leave. There's been an interesting discussion on another swing site we're on about some of this topic and an old timer on there (who's now divorced) brought up something that we found interesting and that seems to be fairly ubiquitous in the lifestyle. It turns out that most women who have been in the lifestyle for a decent length of time have at one time or another (multiple times for Ms. Evil and some of the ladies we've known for some time) been told by a play partner (more often by a single male or even more often a vanilla guy...lot's of swingers seem to get a thrill out of vanilla hunting I guess) that if they were THEIR partner they would NEVER share them with another man. Think about that for a minute. With the way most women are raised and the messages society pounds into their heads about love, romance, fidelity, etc., how powerful are those words are. In fact let's take a little poll. Are there any women who've been in the lifestyle for, say, at least 5 years and play fairly frequently who have never had a guy tell them or insinuate that? Just curious.