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Help With Wife - Wife has fantasies but is super hesitant to experiment. - Personally I think you might be a little too eager (can't blame you, we all were when we started) and pushing just a little too hard to make her fantasy a reality. Rather than trying to find a way to get around the "Catch 22" of her fantasy maybe just explore it more verbally and see if it evolves into some kind of scenario that she is comfortable with that more easily can happen in the real world.
The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for.
You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies.
Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck!
edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee. [em]Emo_79[/em]
Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]
A lot of people secretly wish they could self liberate sexually and socially enough to do some of the things "swingers" do. If they know enough about the Utah swing scene to know why we are wearing a black ring on our right hands then there is a pretty good chance they envy our liberation maybe just a little.
[/quote]
I would not be surprised! :)
[quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]
I recently had a very LDS middle aged friend who knows we swing tell me when he grows up he wants to be me. We don't flaunt it before our vanilla friends and we are not trying to be spokes persons for swinging but we are really not ashamed of it.
[/quote]
Out of curiosity, do you consider wearing black rings all the time flaunting it?
YOLO Cruise April 26 2009 - swingers cruise - Can't wait to join you Liz & Ron .. we have already met quite a few cruisemates already (online) ... we plan on needing a vaction when we get back!! see ya at the Green Iguana Saturday night before the cruise????
Mark & Kathy .. room 6131
I Have A Question - Poly vs. Open - We have found we are very flexible but with preferences. If we contact a couple and meet them for a drink or dinner and we have some great conversation and the attraction is there, it opens numerous possibilities. If we get naked the experience can range from OMG to let’s not go there again. Polyamory requires effort and commitment that we are not looking for, we want FWB that we can see when the timing works out. Not getting naked is ok also and sometimes we meet folks in the lifestyle that just become friends and not sexual partners.
We try to keep it simple and never take it seriously and we have been fortunate to have a close group of friends who we enjoy being with. We also enjoy meeting new couples wherever we are. We enjoy events where we can meet other swingers like Naughty in Nawlins. We have had some incredible experiences and again just some so so experiences also.
The point is we do not define ourselves as polyamory but we know what we like and we never consider the specifics of what it is besides swinging.
Wannabes and net fakes - Will the real lifestyle members please stand up - Plenty of "real" swingers get labeled as fakes every day. Plenty of fake swingers, get mistaken for "real" ones just as often.
That phrase should not be subjective to whether or not someone stood you up, faked a profile, or used old pics, just to name a few negative things. Those people are simply assholes. Even if they fancy themselves swingers.
It has happened to us on many occassions that someone has claimed to have seen one of her pics either in a mag, or on a paid porn site, which automatically makes us "fakes". We have been labled as "fakes" based on the fact that we choose not to (primarily) meet with couples, thus we must be fake. We have been accused of being "fakes" because we are selective about with whom we meet, and even more selective about with whom we play. NO fakes here. Just smart people who know what we are looking for.
People who have an axe to grind are typically the first to call out "fakes" on sites like these. I may not have the benefit of 25 years of swinging to support that supposition, but it is what is obvious to me.
I am sure that there are a great many "fakes" out there who are only interested in wasting other peoples time with their bullshit, and believe me when I say that we have met one or two over the years...but I wouldnt automatically brand someone a "fake" based on the fact that they didnt show up for a meeting. (That is not to say that we would excuse that behavior, because if someone stands us up they had better be dead or we are done with them for good.) But who knows..maybe they just got cold feet? Maybe they really DID get a flat tire on the way to see you....shit happens.
Luvbugs! (mR.)
:p
Too Young to be Taken Seriously? - - [quote=REN]My husband and I are interesting in joining the lifestyle, starting slow. However I've noticed the majority of people here are older. We both are twenty, is this too young to be taken seriously in the lifestyle? Should we keep at it, or come back in 10-20 years. I do understand if people want their partners to be old enough to have an adult beverage with them. But perhaps it is the maturity level? Maturity level is different for everyone. There are twenty year olds who act years older than they are, and sixty year olds who act younger than we are. To each their own I guess. I'm not asking to have everyone be my friend right now. I'm just curious as to what people think about younger swingers. What is your opinion about say twenty-five or younger couples?[/quote]
I think you two should keep at it as well. :) You are young and full of energy. Most of us older swingers wish we had the open minds, you do, when we were your age. There are plenty of people that you can connect with both old and young, that don't pay attention to the age thing. With respect to being close friends, you will have factors like experience and maturity factors that come into play. You're at a different stage in your life than older people and more often than not, this can limit your interaction and ability to identify. That being said, you should keep going. If someone's too old (in their mind), to hump ya, then they're just plain ole too old. hahaha ;) Good luck and have fun.
D
How do you spot a Swinger..?! - tell tell signs of the lifestyle - How do you spot a Swinger..?!
If, while fucking your wife, the guy is cheering you on while you're fucking HIS wife - chances are pretty good you've spotted a couple of Swingers.
Swingers in the Mountains - - Is there really a swinger's convention in Alta right now???
We thought this was educational and should explain a lot about s - keep an open mind. Swingers are spiders. Each to their own unique ways! - You can learn a lot of about swinging from Monkey's as well. If they get it...then we have no problems at all. Be the animal within!!! haha
sh*t swingers say - to preach to the choir - LMAO!!!! Soo True, LOVE IT!! :P
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