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When does interest become pushy??? - - I've been thinking of this topic a lot since it first came out. I appreciate all of the comments made. EVILDOERS said, "Confidence is sexy", and I agree. I see a coupe of things here worthy of comment. First, in this game, women are totally in control. Sex is probably the strongest power position they have. All men want it, women control it. When they say no, or not interested, it's the end of the line for a man. HOW they say it is different. And how a man receives the rejection is different. Anybody who knows me social or professionally would never characterize me as shy. I'm outspoken and engaged most of the time. Because I've been rejected less than politely for advances in the swingers scene before, and after a lot of retrospection didn't deserve the rudeness of the rebukes, I'm a little more reserved, maybe even gun shy.
The fact is, in this lifestyle, no matter how good you are, sooner or later you're going to get rejected. The person doing the rejecting may have had a bad day and be less than polite, but it also could be that you're not handling rejection well.
Recently at a meet and greet I made an advance that seemed more than just welcomed, almost asked for, but was politely refused. I misread the signals, obviously. That happens to all of us at some time or another. The lady was polite in her refusal, and I think that's the key. I think at some time or another we all will give signals that welcome an advance, but do so in error. When an advance comes that we don't want we can reject it, but doing so politely is key. It's simple common courtesy. If the person making the advance persist, then something stronger may be necessary. Again, common courtesy would be to desist when told to do so.
It's all about treating people with respect. We're in this lifestyle to be sexually connected with others. Advances are generally, but not always, welcome and expected. We need to be polite and respectful in both our advances and rejections, whichever side we're on.
Mr. Sexperimentors
New Swingers Club in Utah - Gauging interest in new club - We would totally love to see this happen. We would come a few times a month for sure.
Black Ring - Who has theirs and how have they caught on? - [quote=BMSHELL]It's a numbers game... Less than a tenth of 100th of a percent of the population of Utah is into swinging..... You may wear it for YEARS before someone notices.. (Just like the odds of running into a swinger at the grocery store are ridiculously slim).
Odds go up significantly if you wear them to places where swingers are likely to be (Habits on a Friday night, for example).
[/quote]
We run into other swingers ALL the time at the grocery store, the liquor store, and the gym. In fact it's kind of a running joke with some of the swingers in our neck of the woods. [em]Emo_12[/em]
Game for Swingers - Has anyone heard of a new game for lifestyle couples called Titillation? - www.greatsexgames.com
Jungle Gym
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - [quote=FLUTTERBI]Maybe in our wildest fantasy. [em]Emo_4[/em] [/quote]
Looks like my Toyota MR2 but way newer!!! Nice!!!
When age matters.... - - To me it seems it really is a matter of attraction and yes everything is relative. With most of us wanting some level of anonymity as far as public pictures are concerned our profiles are unwrapped packages. Our profiles display numbers for age, weight, etc., and we probably all consciously or unconsciously make erroneous judgments based on those numbers. I have a friend I work with whose weight, by the numbers, would turn some people off. A photo would do her partial justice unless you didn't like tattoos, which about cover her. To see her in person, with that smile, those eyes, her enthusiastic yet thoughtful hyper animated self, she is very attractive. To know her personality, well she is the kind of lady everyone wants to at least live next door. Pebble Rock forgive my old dude ramble, but I think that at least for me the more I esteem and enjoy other people as they are for who they are the more I esteem and enjoy my own company. If sex at some point happens then great and if not then that is fine too. I do not approach anyone with the expectation save the Mrs., and she toward me because we have established for thirty years that we really like each other. To harbor a can we fuck now, can we fuck now, can we fuck now attitude with am eye singly fixed toward sex could lead to disappointment due to the unmet expectation. I enjoy the vanilla world and vanilla people immensely and so why would I not enjoy that same sort of human non sexual intercourse with people that are that are swingers where the possibility of sexual intercourse also exist. It is a possibility and if you jump in the water with no expectations and a positive attitude perhaps a probability with some delightful people. As for rejection just because someone does not want to have sex with you does not mean there is something wrong with you. As for the hyper critical sorts, I find that the appearance first and always foremost attitude that some swingers display is really unattractive but only malevolent when they go on the attack to insult others. I really have a hard time believing they are really deep down that shallow. They are also most probably mostly wonderful people just trying to find themselves and feel accepted just like all the rest of us.
As for age cut offs. We do not have any so long as they are consenting adults. We began swinging when I was 49 maybe 50 and she was 43 maybe 44 and we have had sex with one couple in there twenties quite a few times, and one couple they also know once that are also in their twenties, a number of couples in their 40s a few times and a few times with one couple in their late fifties that are now in their early sixties. As for singles our lovers have ranged from their twenties to their forties. We have been so busy as of the last two years that we do not get out much, hence we have not played much either, but the last time we actually went to a meet and greet almost a year ago we met a delightful sexy couple in their early 40s that are also extremely busy that we do not see enough but when we do it is most gratifying in most every way possible. Have we had people try and manipulate us into sex or or be rude to us? Yes we have. Have made some mistakes ourselves as swingers? Yes we have. You cannot make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. In a few months after finishing a couple of goals we will be back in the swim on a more regular basis with no expectations. Just knowing the possibility is out there is exciting in and of itself.
Am I hot or not.... - - PSPLAYDATE criticizes single males saying that they are not swingers and that they do not belong on this site...
but PSPLAYDATE also says:
"...many of the couples here enjoy hooking up with SMs (we are guilty of that multiple times ourselves)."
So, you like to have your cake and eat it too? That's a little hypocritical.
Edit: Sorry for rehashing this subject! I didn't realize this was such an old thread when I replied.
Bashing - Isn't it sad !!! - [quote=CPLINTOOELE]Well Psyche not the point I was making here I can take a good joke and fun play .. I was just saying why even respond to something if you are not interested in it ?? and your only purpose is to down the persons with the idea or question.. yes fun I understand but rude ass comments I don't ... [/quote]Do you have a recent example, CPLINTOOELE? Otherwise I guess ya may have missed MY point, which is usually the most important one. [em]Emo_17[/em] Your last post, the one that people seemed to be jumping on, was a booty call posted in the forum. There are 35 Booty Calls (in my area) right now. Can you imagine if all those people just kept re-posting their booty calls every day in the FORUM area? Nothing would be on the front page of the forum except for booty calls. How 'bout if the party groups, "Perfect" or "Swingers Circle" always posted their party announcements on the FORUM instead of in the Events section where they belong? Same difference, there'd be no Fun discussions left on the forum, only Event announcements (and booty calls). There's an organization to this place and if you use it where possible it just makes it easier and more enjoyable for other folks trying to navigate the site. Apparently you've used the Forum repeatedly for what is essentially a booty call and a few folks have gotten annoyed. It's understandable, I hope.
And, If you REALLY want to advertise your desire to get laid during the daytime, just get in your bikini and stand on the corner of 25th and Wall in Ogden with a cardboard sign dangling from your neck that says, "Cheap Floozy for rent, 25 cents." Seems to work for me!! [em]Emo_54[/em]
Bi - - Well, Utah does has one of the highest if not the highest population of gays per capita. So we know there are a lot of bi-men here. But this is still a very conservative state and they like to keep things under wraps. We've found in most religious societies there are large groups who push away or break away from what is socially acceptable in that area. In rural Utah there are some towns that are 100% Mormon, yet in Salt Lake City the numbers are less. I thinks its 65% non Mormon to 35% Mormon. Our profile name is bi-couple, but I (male) am not attracted to men, but to the Transgender. I am more attracted to Feminine energy that the Transgender carries not the Masculine energy of men. We believe that there are three sexes, male, female, transgender. Yes that means that a person could be Tri-sexual. We are a very,very open couple and consider ourselves to be more Polyamorous, than swingers. But we respect all sexualities and lifestyle choices.
Club 90 party - - We've deleted all our public pics from our profile on this and other sites. It is the only safe thing to do.
After working in the advertising and public relations field for many years I can unequivocally tell you that KSL has already determined the story they are going to write, and they are only going to the party to find supporting evidence of it. It doesn't matter what you say, they will edit out what doesn't fit the outline for the story that was agreed upon in a programing meeting and keep the stuff that does. Ever heard someone say "that's not what I said, they took my comment out of context!"
What story is this?
Sex and Wife Swapping in Your Neighborhood!
Wife Swapping... What About the Children!
Swingers... They Could Be Your Neighbor
And I could go on and on with possible headlines.
Never have I seen any positive spin put on the Lifestyle by the media. Sex and scandal makes ratings with produces ad dollars. And this fulfills both criteria in one story. Do a Google News search on swingers and see how many positive stories you come up with. I guarantee it will be 99% negative.
KSL isn't going to tell a story of how swinging can bring a couple closer and strengthen an already good relationship. They aren't going to show how 79% of swingers report their marriage as "very happy" as opposed to 64% of the general societal survey (GSS), or that only 1.7% of swingers report their marriage/relationship to have become "less happy" after starting to swing. Or that 57% of swingers list marriage as "very important" in their life as compared to 51% of the GSS. They are not going to show that swingers are slightly more likely to be part of a religious organization the the GSS (72% compared to 61%).
These are not facts that will support the sensationalist story they want to produce. They want to show wild sex orgies and broken marriages.
It doesn't matter if they agree not to show faces or not (they won't due to legal ramifications). Like xxxtasy and others have mentioned it will cause a huge spike in traffic to this and other swinger related websites by every "concerned" (read: nosey) Utahn scouring the sites for a neighbor like they're searching a sex offenders database. I guarantee there will be a spike in free members for a month or so after the segment airs. The women will want something to gossip about at relief society and the men will want to know who to hit on in their neighborhood in the chance they'll get lucky because you know... their wife isn't a freak like that and since you're a swinger you'll do anyone, anytime right? Just like in the porn movies?
And the club? Club 90 is only a "swingers club" once or twice a month. People who go there during the other 29 days in the month will recognize the decor and will be "scouting" from now on. You'll have every guy looking to get lucky going to Club 90 in the off-chance he'll meet a swinger.
I'd recommend being on your best behavior if you do attend the party. They think they are going to see flesh and dirty dancing. They need to see that these parties are not that, but just like going to any club on any given night; the difference being nobody's getting in a fight because someone looked at someone else's significant other.:p
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