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Explain why you like being a swinger - - This is what I think...The 2 leading causes of divorce are sex and money. I think if you can get your finances under control, and you are able to share your sexual hangups or fantasies together rather than having to hide them, there's nothing that you can't conquer together. I have never been closer to my wife, and wouldn't trade the relationship we have for anything. And we don't even call ourselves "swingers", but more like "trysexuals"...If you get it, you know what I mean. Wanna try it???
Swinger & 🦄 Bait - An experiment to attract swingers and unicorns. - Is it just us or are we seeing the swingerfication of the world? Check out these unicorn pics. We could take new pics like these almost every day...even pineapples, they’re everywhere. It’s the swingpocalypse! So funny!
video chat rooms for southeastern couples - ??? - does anyone know of any good chat rooms for swingers on this side of the country?
For those who don’t understand the lifestyle - It’s what makes sense for you - The REALLY fucked up thing is how many people would or DO look down on swingers and swinging as something aberrant, abnormal, and disgusting, yet think people cheating and having affairs is a fairly normal part of life. It would seem that being open and upfront about your sexual desires with your spouse is somehow bad and sneaking around lying and cheating is good. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol.
I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met.
As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful.
And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance.
Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there.
All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :)
Mr. SRO
PICTURE SURFERS HANG A 180 LOL - - I think what they mean by "friends and MAYBE more" is that they are looking for friends first and if everyone establishes a friendship and clicks sexually more will follow. I guess everyone is different when it comes to the lifestyle and some take it more slowly than others. Some require a strong friendship before playing, some don't. Some feel that they may establish a friendship but one of the people just doesn't click sexually with one or more of the others and that feeling needs to be respected by all.
When we first started we were in the mindset that we had to find "best friends" with benefits and quickly discovered that we don't necessairly need to be best of friends, we do need to like the other people though and feel that attitude and personality are very important to us. We've been fortunate enough to maintain a friendship with everyone we've played with and some that we haven't because one of the group just couldn't make it to that level but we still maintain contact with each other.
I guess what I hate the most is when you run across someone that thinks that just because you are in the lifestyle and on a swingers site you automatically have to lay down and spread for anyone that asks. Doesn't happen often but seems like we get more than our share of it.
Why swingers are happier. - - Evildoers have a link on their original post.
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - AKLIM, thanks for proving my point. It doesn't matter if they are the minority. I only matter that we all came here to fuck. It takes virtually the same energy to write "no thanks" as "fuck off" and even less to ignore. This should not be a problem at all. It's only an issue because those that wish to take offense make it one.
-D-
Soft swap - Soft swap vs Full swap - Maybe soft swap for swingers is kinda like anal sex for little Christian virgin chicks. They don't call anal "God's Loophole" for nothing. LOL
[video]http://youtu.be/j8ZF_R_j0OY[/video]
NEW ORLANDO LIFESTYLE CLUB! - Playtyme Night Club 7432 Universal Blvd (behind Wet n Wild) - It's 2 blocks off I drive and closed to the public on the weekends...
However, Orange county and Orlando are both pretty bad for the lifestyle, much much too conservative!!!, however if you want to get out and meet attractive swingers, it's a nice alternative to the OBT option!!!
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