Joelton Swingers in Tennessee

Joelton Swingers

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New Relationships - - [quote=EVILDOERS]Yep. Swinging is couples centric. If there weren't couples what would swinging even be? Hooking up. But there are plenty of couples who also like to add the occasional single to the mix. Hell, some even play that way exclusively. As far as single swingers meeting each other to form relationships (if I'm reading you correctly) that's a much tougher row to hoe. We've seen a few singles become couples over the years but they're in the minority unfortunately. The lifestyle is a tough place to date and find love for many reasons. Many couples WILL give you more than a casual look if you indeed have a regular play partner that you can bring to add to the mix. Otherwise you'll just kind of have to resign yourself to the plight of a single guy in the lifestyle. Sorry, life isn't always fair.[/quote] This ^^ it isn't always about "hooking" up. Sometimes it's about having open-minded friends that you can just hang with, sometimes it's about treating your significant other for their birthday... but we all know, she runs the show, if she's not into it, nothing is happening!

Vegas - - We're going April 9th-11th. Don't know what is and isn't open but we're hoping to find a room at The Sands or The Landmark or maybe The Dunes. We also plan on checking out the Liberace and Elvis museums and hitting that tiger magic show and FINALLY seeing either Wayne Newton or Frank Sinatra in person. We think they're playing at either The Stardust or the Desert Inn. Also can't wait to go to The Red Rooster as we hear it's SUPER classy, upscale, and a great place to meet lots of hot sexy swingers.

What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

Finding a balance - Swinging and Religion - - [quote=ABCMAN]http://www.libchrist.com/swing/happysafestudies.html someone asked about Christian swinging groups...we'll here ya go. I think the animosity in Utah about religion comes from one direct source in most cases (LDS Church).. but of course some of the Christian (fundamentalist...bible beating) crazies can drive one crazy as well. The reality is that I have not seen a man made religion yet that isn't focused on control of it's flock. My question is how much did Christ push the idea of a church and how much of it was his disciples and Paul later on in the bible. Cliffnotes, I actually think you make a good point...context is so important in reading ancient documents, and the bible would classify as one. To use 21st century definitions or perceptions is useless in understanding 60 AD Jerusalem. I do think that you make a good point regarding David and Solomon, but of course the counter to that is that the Lord gave them their wives and concubines (,,,,Joseph Smith and the Mormons think this way...) Personally I don't see why a GOD would only give a King many wives and not the common bloke out in the wheat field, and frankly I wouldn't put much stock in some Old Testament tale or atleast the justification for them having many wives. I'm sure God really didn't give them anymore then anyone else. As for swinging, my personal feeling is that if your intent is not to harm, be in physical, be it emotional, then go for it. But that can cover a wide range of possible situations. I think there are ethical issues that always need to be addressed if your going to last long in the lifestyle. #1 Don't break rules you and your significant other set up between one another, and always communicate. #2 If it isn't a gift to one another, then maybe you need to reevaluate why your doing it. #3 If your looking at it as an escape, then you maybe doing harm to your partner or another persons marriage. #4 If your single and looking for a long term mate, then don't covet some other persons spouse, no matter what they may say or do. If he/she is falling for you, then do the ethically thing and break it off. It just causes harm to everyone involved in those situations, and don't think for a minute that you won't suffer long term ramifications from that type of situation. I'd let the couple work it out or they leave on another before I'd get involved again with that person. #5 Safe Sex, not only for you but your partner and others as well. (Golden Rule) if these sound patronizing then I apologize, but personally this is the approach I've taken, and my wife as well. So far it's worked out well. [/quote] Good post! By Groups I am talking about the groups that will soon be available on this site. In another site there was a group called Christian Swingers, it was very interesting and educational. I seem to remember a LDS swingers group also. But that is a good website you posted.

Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - Mr = Taurus Mrs= Scorpio So I guess we are just rocken sex machines!!!!!!

Swingers clubs in Amsterdam - - Going to be in Amsterdam for 2 nights in September and we would like some suggestions for swingers clubs. Has anyone been to Sameplace, it's look like it might be nice. We appreciate any suggestions.

Tooele swingers party december - Looking to meet other local swingers and have some party fun - Sounds like fun! :)

Mormons - - [quote=Utahldscouple]We are probably one of the few “real” ones on here. It’s hard to be one in this lifestyle especially here in Utah. Those that are in the lifestyle have issues with “Mormons”. We get judged by both those in and those not. [/quote] For the record, I would NEVER judge anyone for being Mormon and in the lifestyle. Been there, done that and know PLENTY of others who have as well. *edit: I should clarify that I meant WE were technically Mormons...but inactive, when we started swinging and we've met MANY active and inactive Mormons who were swingers over the years* LOL But I WOULD have a bit of an issue if you showed up to play with your garments on. But I guarantee that there are also plenty of people who would probably get off on it if you did. [em]Emo_49[/em]

What really defines a TRUE swinger? - - [quote=T4REAL69][quote][quote=HCOUPLE6988]ok so what would you classify someone who was considered a swinger by some for 10 years but now that im single does that revoke my swingers card because i am no longer married?....just trying to figure out where all of us that fit into this category falls into for all of you that choose to define someone[/quote] Oh man that's easy you are now all that is wrong and evil in the world....I thought you knew....lmao...welcome to the "DARKSIDE" ;)[/quote][/quote] FUCK..... o well I guess I'll try and have as much fun as possible on the darkside now i just need to find a storm trooper outfit so i can fit in :)

real members? - - I think you need to grow a new sense about people. Do you feel confortable with them over the net before you do anything. Do they seem to be real.. Can they spell simple words, is their grammer adult, how do they phrase things. Many times one can ascertain quite a lot by how and what someone says. Then we have kind of an unwritten rules: 1. Talk with people via the medium .. IM... the site we're on email and give no personal info until you feel that the people are at least stable. 2. Don't meet people or find people over an hour or so driving time 3 Meet very informally... We've found that a mall with a food court is a great place to meet. If the other couple fail to show take the misses shopping... 4. Once you meet you can exchange phone numbers or addresses as you feel comfortable doing. Maybe after the informal meeting meet at a local swingers club or dinner or bowling...what ever works to make sure they are a good match....and trustworthy. 5. The fun is open and go for the gold... As for certifying couples... what does it mean other than there are really 2 people on the other end of that computer unless it is done by your peers who have met and or played with you. Certification is about as valued as is the pictures on a web-site. They could be the people or maybe they aren't who they say they are... Ray

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