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what if I want to but he doesn't - - [quote=NU2THEGAME]the worst part is that I consider myself intelligent with good common sense, so why can't i repress this- why is this so important to me right now? my hormones are taking over my common sense!! don't want to ruin a marriage for a cheap thrill- but also know that sex is a very important part of a marriage... part of it i'm sure is that I've been with him since i was 14..... i know this.[/quote]
There are many little things that we all do without that do not really affect our lives to any degree. But sometimes the little things turn out to be really big things. I would say that you have found one of yours.
I sounds like you are telling us that you everything your husband wants sexually. But there is something you need that you are not getting sexually. We could guess as to what that is but it would not help to guess. You need to examine and define what it is that you are lacking. Otherwise all we can do is talk in generalities. Some people only feel safe when things are neatly defined and unchanging.
I think that most swingers will tell you that sexually we get into a rut or pattern with any lover and that for many of us that is like the end of life. Most will also tell you that this lifestyle helps to keep you feeling alive and part of the world. You learn knew things from different people and your world opens wider.
Marriage changes how many think or act. Why that is would take many pages off topic. A marriage like good government should be one of give and take and compromise. Once one side had decided not to compromise or find a solution that makes their partner happy, then they have decided that the marriage is no linger important.
As an example: A woman once told me that after marriage her husband only touched her once a year on a specific day. The rest of the time he was a cold fish. That is all he wanted and what she wanted did not matter. In a way that was sexual abuse of the worst magnitude. To choose a celibate life for one
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Posted By: XXXTASYX2 Reply posted on:
Jan 8, 2008 - 2:00 pm
I guess that means if we were hanging out with you, you would be ok with us talking shit about Rednecks.
Are you going to be a "one trick pony" then? To us, if all you have are "Dumb Nigger" jokes or "Dumb Pollock" or "Dumb Chink" etc, etc, it gets boring. Now, if you are like Gunnery Sergeant Hartman who said: There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless.", I don't think we have a problem.
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - You don't need 2 guys - just 2 girls and a quality strap-on. ;) And yeah - it's pretty fun.
Open-mindedness - - I see open mindedness a bit situational for most people and while each has their own levels of diversity openness most still tend to set limits. However the observation about the lack of acceptance of bi males or non bi females in the lifestyle does seem out of context with our actions that reach out for sexual freedom. I saw one discussion in another swingers web site about gay marriage and I was somewhat surprised at how many swingers were defending the
Question - do you talk about other swingers? - We never use names just describe situations to illustrate what type of things we do. The only time I could imagine using names is if you went to house party and all concerned know you were all there. Then would use general terms of what mutual experiences we had at the party but no specifics we may have done with the people on a one on one basis. Discretion is paramount.
Lifestyle friendly RV camping areas within a couple hundred mil - - I am putting a trip together fun swingers/ nudist on April 28-30 at baker Hotsprings
It is around Delta UT
Lots of places for RV's and tents
Have been doing it for about8 years
Everyone is welcome
Come early stay late
We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - No drama here, drop us a line;)
~T&D~
Reply or don't reply for requests to meet? - - Their emotional response probably has more to do with their over all experience with the lifestyle than to anything you said or didn't say did or didn't do. Here goes my thoughts.....
People have a hard time emotionally disconnecting. People can be irrational. Sometimes we do not know why the react as they do but then we do not know the back story. They, or we may be associating something they, or we said with a whole lot of experience that had nothing to do with our or their intent. Our primitive brain functions which include release of the chemicals that color emotions have full access to our prefrontal cortex where we have the power of reason. With all the reasoning capability our prefrontal cortex manifest, it has very, very little ability to turn off our more primitive brain. The pathways just are not there. So our primitive brain has full chemical access to our bodies and higher brain but our higher brains do not have equal access to alter our primitive brain and emotional responses. So we have an emotional reaction, which our reasoning cannot turn off, so in order to try and make our minds match the emotion we are feeling we alter our reasoning. It is called making a mountain out of a mole hill. This loss of reason manifests as irrational behavior and can lead to resentment and negative premeditations such as revenge and violence. Sex drive is emotionally charged. Sex chemicals defy reason more than most and so do the chemicals associated with anger. So the brain function design flaw can make the emotion verses reason imbalance more dramatic when sex is involved. Knowing that, Swingers should recognize that just because you feel angry it does not mean you should be angry. If you let negative emotions color your reason you may be acting irrationally. Drama, drama, drama is what you get. Our rational, reasonable minds are capable of unbelievable accomplishments. Through the scientific method we have cured many, many diseases, we fly all over the globe, we travel and live beyond our atmosphere and under the sea, we share and communicate with small hand held devices and we even form internet social groups that revolve around specific shared interest. The sphere of accomplishments is too long a list to name let alone full understand. No one person can understand or master one, one millionth of all that has to be learned and mastered to make all this happen. So we are capable of incomprehensible collaborative efforts. And yet, we fight and we bicker and we accuse and we are sometimes unreasonably suspicious.
Reason without emotion is perhaps safe but not much fun. We want to experience emotions with friends and lovers. The secret answer to successful social interaction almost seems to be to master the art of recognizing when something is positive and healthy and then let the flood gates open up jump in and be overwhelmed and if something is just not right to back off physically but to also emotionally disconnect.
The something that is just not right, that may be leading you into angry, sad, or fearful paths may be more within you than without as well. If what is inside you is ugly or afraid emotionally and you let that color your reason then that may be all you can see in people and the world without and you get caught in a vortex of anger or fear. People think they become emotional because of their paranoia but in fact they become paranoid because they were negatively emotional and then the paranoia fed the emotions and on and on.
I have attached a link to a video I found this week quite by accident that speaks to this and quite a bit more. For you that are into physics professionally or as amateurs, that will enjoy scrutinizing the math, as far as the math goes, to me I see where this is going but the statement is made
Hanging out this weekend - Habits tonight?? - [quote=HERRIMANFUN][quote=DELICIOUSLYWET][quote=HERRIMANFUN][quote=DELICIOUSLYWET][quote=HERRIMANFUN]We enjoy it if there is a couple we are interested in they have sections that aren't so loud that you can talk. But yes it is loud. And we have run into lots of swingers there lots of times. But I hear that a lot I think most people don't talk to people or just walk up to a stranger(s) and say hi. But I the male half does a lot that's how you meet people and then once you chat a bit it comes out that they are swingers. Not a big fan of he meet and greets it's always the same people unfortunately. And that's great for some but we haven't really made a connection at any that we have been too, yet. [/quote]
We have been to the meet and greets too and we don't go very often and have not been to one in ages. Maybe twice a year we hit one but when we do go we pretty much introduce ourselves to everybody and if we missed someone we didn't mean to. You do have to be proactive to be successful in meeting people or at least reactive in a positive fashion when someone interesting approaches you. We have been to Habits and ended up leaving with someone, but we had already had a bit of friendly back and forth somehow with the people we left with or it was someone we met previously and had at least chatted a bit. We think we have only been there maybe five times altogether. Well, maybe Mr. Delicious will put on a collared shirt just in case we head that way but for now we are thinking maybe the Green Pig sounds fun. [/quote]
Well if you make it to Habits please come and say hello. [/quote]
Sounds dandy. For a limited time Mr. Delicious is sporting a now two week old full beard to contrast his shaved head. Part of a guy thing going on with some of his friends. Getting his Viking on which like his Norse god last name came to him through his family's Dublin roots going back to Norway before attacking or we mean landing in Ireland and becoming truly Irish. Mrs. Delicious is tall and sexy and carries her self like the strong willed woman she is so we should not be hard to spot. It is always fun looking for and finding someone you have not really met.[/
Like fishtanks? - Maybe you could help us out.... - We have a few fish tanks in our home...we absolutely love them....here is our issue...we just found out we may be having to move very quickly and possibly a couple of times...we do not want to have to worry about our tanks so we are looking to sell a couple of them very quickly...I will be posting them on other sites but wanted to give our fellow swingers an opportunity first...we really really need to sell them...email me for the info and more pics if you want but here's the basics
125 Gallon- over $1200 into this set-up asking $700 OBO
55 Gallon- over $400 into this set-up asking $125 OBO
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