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Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - We think the problem is that people see the equation "sex = love". IOW, if I have sex with you, I must love you. Therefore polyamory and swinging are the same. After all, if I don't love you, I won't be having sex with you.
The way I see it, swinging is like a game of golf or tennis. I might play a game with you but I don't love you. Similarly, I might have sex with you but I don't love you.
Poly, IMO, is basically having a relationship with that other person and sex is involved on some level. Kinda like "I'm in love with you and oh, BTW, lets make love"
The way we see it, swinging is about exchanging sexual partners for recreation sex. In an orgy situation at a party, you can have sex with that person with zero words exchanged. In a poly relationship, there is a real connection going on besides just sex. Sex becomes incidental just like it is with married couples.
With swinging, there is no emotional attachment. Is that a good thing? Well, it depends. We need to understand the very simple nature of things. We do this to avoid that. That is human nature. Many swingers DON'T want emotional attachments and avoid them because of the complications they cause in the first one. Are there benefits to the attachments? You bet. Is there a price to pay for that benefit? But of course. Is it worth it to you? That depends on your viewpoint.
In our life as a couple, the problems poly cause BASED ON OUR OPINION (your's may vary and no right and wrong here) do not outweigh the payoff. IOW, we don't think the benefits of a poly relationship are worth the problems it creates based on our opinion. YMMV
Favorite bars in utah - - There are quite a few people that are part of a couple or singles that frequent places like Piper Down that do not have swingers profiles that do decide to have sex with others as a couple or whatever if it just feels right! It will not feel right until a connection is made. Maybe it is the Irish influence (Piper Down is maybe more Scottish than Irish but we love it) As we found it to be in Ireland, if you can relax enough to enjoy people enough to really connect without any expectations or expressions of urgency that you are "after it now" that all sorts of hijinks including sex can happen. Swingers frequent Habits and Club 48 and some frequent Club 90 in our experience. A lot of healthy happy singles and couples here in Utah are at least in the back of their minds a little bit on the sexual prowl when they go out on the town. Swinger are a bit more overt. Having an eye open and maybe even with some hopes that you will find something exciting out there in a world teaming with possibilities is exciting! Entering into a venue where there are more than a few grinding the sex axe that will be disappointed if the sex possibility does not happen can be a downer.
Single Men Meeting Couples - Are Single Men Treated Un Fairly In The Lifestyle - Why would single men be interested in hanging around swingers if they could just go out and date?
There is a good reason: Prosexual people have a different set of values than the usual muggles we meet out in society. Being around them feels good, especially with the openness about sexuality that swingers have.
And having a threesome is wonderful! Watching a woman be pleasured by 2 men is one of nature's best treats -- maybe even the way nature meant it to be!!!
So, it is mistaken to think single men are here only because they want to get laid. On the contrary, it's probably harder to "get laid" on a swinger's site than out in the everyday world. Swingers ARE different as people in some very charming ways, and at least I for one enjoy their company for their own sake.
Wishbones - - Hi.
Thanks for the advice where to buy them. But about wearing a swingers identification... We presume you don't wear them on a birthday party with the family. But its a good idea to show you are swingers on vacation, public party's or elsewhere. These are the places to meet like minded people and how can you otherwise find them. If they like you, they will get in contact and if others recognise you as swinger without being a swinger themself, who cares!
A swingers hug from The Netherlands
Bea and Alex
How has swinging made your marriage better? - - Communication (REAL communication) is the key but still it's not enough if someone really wants to stray or outright leave. There's been an interesting discussion on another swing site we're on about some of this topic and an old timer on there (who's now divorced) brought up something that we found interesting and that seems to be fairly ubiquitous in the lifestyle. It turns out that most women who have been in the lifestyle for a decent length of time have at one time or another (multiple times for Ms. Evil and some of the ladies we've known for some time) been told by a play partner (more often by a single male or even more often a vanilla guy...lot's of swingers seem to get a thrill out of vanilla hunting I guess) that if they were THEIR partner they would NEVER share them with another man. Think about that for a minute. With the way most women are raised and the messages society pounds into their heads about love, romance, fidelity, etc., how powerful are those words are. In fact let's take a little poll. Are there any women who've been in the lifestyle for, say, at least 5 years and play fairly frequently who have never had a guy tell them or insinuate that? Just curious.
BOOTY CALL - - Yeah, I put that request in on the "improvements" section of the forum YEARS ago! Amen to that! All these horny UT swingers sitting at home with nobody to do...what a shame.
Playing with \"swingers\" vs \"nonswingers\" - - We prefer not to mix the two sides of our life up! That is, we keep to ourselves that we are swingers with everyone except other swingers. Isn\'t that what \"Discreet\" means? We have only had one couple approach us at a \"non-swinger\" social function and talk to us like we should be getting together with them - all while in front of our real-life friends. When this thoughtless couple left our table, the other 3 couples there asked what that was all about. We actually ignored the question and went right on enjoying our evening -- without any real trouble.
We always talk to each other in private when we are out at a night club and wonder between ourselves how this or that person might be in bed -- but we never act on those impulses. It is our belief that most people would be shocked, but not necessarily in awe about our swinging behavior. Therefore, we do not ask non-swingers to play with us.
Most of the other responses here are right on target. Those that do not have experience with swinging are not really prepared to handle the social/sexual interactions between 3 or 4 people -- hell, most swingers we know (including us) don\'t do a very good job of handling it!
There certainly seem to be alot of very hot swingers to choose from at this website, we wonder why you would have to go outside to find what you are looking for?
Rants and Raves. - Tell us your rant and rave for the week.... - swingers need to vent too, we can't all breathe through our ears....
PornHub responds to Utah's porn crisis! - With data! - This data is always off...how many other places can you get porn? It's not as prevalent here as it is in other states so of course our internet subscriptions are off the charts...but that's me and I don't pay for porn...that's why we are swingers durr! Hehe!
Question - do you talk about other swingers? - We generally don't talk about others using names, but in the crowd we've been with lately, we are all aware of the history and experiences of each other. We know many of the same people and have many mutual experiences.
We do avoid gossiping and/or 'name dropping' with people that we don't know as well.
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