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Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - So this has been discussed a few times, but I'm surprised how few people here have heard of it..
The [b]black-ring on the right-hand[/b] has quickly become the new "standard" on how to tell if someone's a swinger in public. (No, it's not a sure-indicator, but it's gaining traction FAST in the swinger community).
- It started off as a discussion on Kasidie a few years ago.
- Several swingers bloggers and podcasters picked it up and endorsed it.
- Almost all of the larger online swinger communities are now endorsing it.
- It's even been mentioned a few times on PBTV's show "Swing".
- We recently went on a swingers cruise and saw LOTS of couples wearing them.
It's actually got some real traction..... The great thing is that it's small. It's cheap. It's not obvious to anyone else. It's easy to 'deny' if you ever ARE caught ("Oh.. I just liked the ring..")..
My wife and I both wear them now... But we've never seen them "in the wild" in Utah... We found that they made a great conversation starter.
More Info here:
- http://www.okswing.com/index.php/en/easyblog/entry/black-ring-right-hand-how-to-find-swingers-in-public
- http://www.lifestylerings.com/faqs.html
- http://swapfu.blogspot.com/p/black-ring-right-hand.html
How Do you Find Out - Question about Friends - Also listen to the language they use. We have picked out other swingers by how they talk..
Discussion brought about by the marajuana topic - - **YAWN**
I'm with Highway on this one...there are plenty of ways to kill oneself.
There are plenty of things the general "law-abiding" public does in their cars and homes that put themselves and others in danger.
Have to wonder which demographic group will be next after having ridded our communities of the dregs of society by outlawing tobacco and alcohol (the insidious pot-heads have already been dealt with after all)?
How about the fat people? They live an unhealthy lifestyle, and certainly provide a burden on society with obesity related issues. Attribute the rise in Type 2 Diabetes, heart disease, increase in cancer (yes cancer...in individuals who have never smoked and have otherwise lived a good "christian" life) to the convenient and unhealthy lifestyles full of decadence and complacency we lead (Hmm...I know there was a reference to the Roman empire somewhere earlier in this thread).
Once the fat peeps are incarcerated...who shall shoulder the burden and blame for many of the ills in our society?
There are always going to be special interest target groups in our society, whether they be pot-heads, crack-heads, fatties, adrenaline junkies, speeders, cell-phoning-while-driving idiots, swingers...well you get the point.
We may forget to look at WHY things are made illegal, maybe that's on purpose...because when you think about it...the reasons for WHY they are do not make sense. It couldn't be merely for personal safety and health reasons...because if that were the case, then certainly excessive food, and cell phones would be made illegal.
I'm with TR on the too much government intrusion scene; We are the so-called "most free" country on the planet...yet we have the most laws and government intrusion and incarcerated percentage of the population.
Period.
Merry Christmas...haha
swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - Tami...
Don't waste your time...THe problem is he is immature...look at the typing, what is this myspace and we are all about 12 or 13?
Waaaaa....You would pay for it? why not pay to get some cleaned up teeth and stuff...Maybe a shirt that does not scream 80's? Wonder how popular you are in Indiana or wherever the hell your trailer is located?
Anyway...Let the crying begin with waaaa leading the way crying all the way...
LDS Swingers Survey - Will any former/active LDS swingers take my survey? - done...thank yoou
How close is too close - - FITZNBELINDA
Actually, swinging will very quickly bring out and magnify flaws in a relationship, even in good relationships. The difference is that a good relationship/marriage will use this info to increase the trust and communications and make that relationship stronger.
You asked about swingers as compared to the general public... The divorce rate in the general public is between 66 and 77% depending on which figures you are looking at.. THis is both for 1st and 2nd marriages. Approx 70% of all married people, both male and females, in the general public, now will admit to extramarital affairs. Since extramarital sex is the essence of swinging that is not an issue but marriages in the swinging community are stable approximately 85% of the time or only 15% of swingers marriages fail... as compared with 75% failure in the general public... In other words non swingers are 340% more likely to get divorced than swigners... or 3.4 times as likely.
Respect is one thing but sometimes Stuff just happens. We don't ask for it we are not open for it but still it still happens.... My love for others has no effect on my wife and my relationship.. She understand who I will be going home with and that I don't wish to cause others grief.. If people are honest with themselves as well as others and you respect people enough to understand what's going on and care about their feelings you just walk away before any damage is done...
single males - - Thank you for opening the topic. I hope that it will be used shed some insight and not just complain.
In a place like Habits there are vanilla singles that have no clue that swingers congregate there. So there will naturally be more problem in that environment than a private party.
At a house party the only people that should be there are those that are invited by the host and hostess. Every one of the guests should have known the rules or etiquette of this lifestyle. If you had complaints, they should have been addressed last night with the hosts. Evidently the balance you were looking for was not there.
Sadly it is difficult for most singles to figure out how to talk to a swinging couple. There are no schools or training centers to teach this. As a single male, conversation at a vanilla party with a couple is much easier. Most often the men and women separate and we talk with one or the other without expectations on either side. Sometimes conversation is just conversation.
I find that making friends is generally more difficult in this lifestyle because of the sexual expectations of many. I think that you will find a number of the single men, after getting the cold shoulder from many husbands, find it easier to attempt to talk to the women because they lack the skills to talk with both. It is a mistake but it is also part of the learning process.
There is no excuse for rude behavior on the part of the single male but neither is there an excuse for the typical married male attitude. Single males are always and have always been a pariah and dam few couples want them at any party. I came into this lifestyle as a single male looking to make male friends to hang with that would help me understand the rules. I found most of the males were cold and suspicious and difficult to talk with.
I was not looking for women to play with nearly as much as I was looking for a girlfriend that was already in the lifestyle. But I am sure that as far as most were concerned all I wanted to find was their wife
An out of this world (or state) encounter - swinging parties - [quote=2TOHAVEFUNWITHU]We just moved here from California were we were part of a swingers group and kinda thought it was going to be the same out here. But we have found out there is huge differences out here lol. We are used to going to meet and greets at bars or motels and if you like someone you leave and play with them.the we are used to going to house partys which have been some of the best times of our life's lol. The house partys would have anywhere from 30 through 50 couples and there would be games and music and bring your own bottle share a bottle. They would have stripper poles and it would be a no pressure atmoshphere. The bold would end up naked and the others didn't have to if they choose not to. It was a great time there were private rooms and a couple big sex rooms were people can walk in and watch or they can ask to join. Was kind of looking forward to doing the same out here then found out the partys are nothing like that. We want to attend a meet and greet and meet new people and hang out. We are really good friends with the swinger group in bakersfield ca and they are opening a club and we are looking at getting a bigger house and they,suggested that we use there name for the swinger group and throw some house partys. like we used to go to. But I'm not sure that would work out here to well because people are a lot more private and from what we have heard from the couple couples we talked to people are to afraid to go to a big house party because there afraid of someone else seeing them there which we understand. But if we end up getting the house we qre looking at we will have a big enough place to host and we will have the same kind of setup and games that we had in bakersfield. Would there be anyone interested in going to a big house party only swingers and everyone have a good time in a no pressure environment? And sexy fun couple if you throw a party count us in we would love to go to an actuall party and meet new people and if you like someone you can actually play and have a good time and if you need assistance we can help also. [/quote]
If respectful, single men are allowed I would love to attend a house party like you described. I used to belong to a group here in UT that would throw monthly parties at a local hotel that were run a like the house parties you are describing. There would be a large meeting room for everyone to meet and mingle with games and some light munchies. then there was always someone that would host the after party orgy in their room. Good Times were had by everyone who attended.
How did you get started? - - Well It Seems we all start somewhere so guess my story isn't that differant than alot of us.
I was 19 and in college at the time. One day I was in a local Video Shop and saw the Swingers magazines on the shelf. I thought to myself "what the heck, I'll try my luck!" Honestly, I felt it was all hype to get $6 from me. {they are $8 and $10 now by the way} With somewhat of a "i'll belive it when it happens" attitude I answered about 5 adds that where interesting to me and didnt say "no single men". Anyhow I wrote the letters put them all in a envolope with the $5 and stamps like the magazine asked and waited for a reply. It didn't take to long to get a responce from 4 of them but unfortunatly they all sent me a "no thank you" letter. About a week after that I finally got a reponse from the last couple I had written to. They had written asking me quite a few questions about me and what I liked and all that sort of thing to which I wrote them back a reply. {directly this time though} About 5 days latter I get a call from the man from the couple I had written to asking me if I would like to meet them over dinner sometime. We set up a meeting and it went very well. They where both attractive and in their 40's and we liked alot of the same kinds of things. Being new to all of this though I had assumed that something would happen right away if anything was going to. Wrong! I left that night thinking I was just not what they wanted after all or maybe they were uncomfortable with how much younger I was. The next day though I got a call from the man again asking me to meet with them again later that night at the same resturant, to which I ofcourse said "yes!" When I got there they weren't there yet and my first thought was "great stood up" about 5 or 10 minutes later though they showed up and we ate and talked some more. After dinner they told me they had been late because it had taken a bit longer that they planed to check into the motel they rented for us that night. You can say After that night I was hooked! we met many times after that, almost weekly for awhile. He would sit down in a chair JO and watch as she and I had sex most the time but sometimes he would come over to us and JO onto her while we did it too. For the frist few times we got together he would ask me after she and I where finished if I needed anything else. Being 19 and unworldly I always though he ment something to drink etc. On about our 5th meeting she told me in my ear while we were "together" that he was really wanting to know if he could "DO" anything for me when he asked that. That kinda floored me when she told me that but I got over it and actually kind of warmed up to the idea by the time she and I were through. So, when he asked me that time I ended up getting a Bj from him. We stayed together for along time {2 years almost} until I had to transfer to a bigger college. I am happy I met them because they taught me so much about myself!
Know any Mormon swingers in SoCal? - Single girl in SoCal wants to know! - Weirdest. Thread. Ever.
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