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Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this.
It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more.
Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell.
It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.)
You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.)
Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - Done it a couple of times and loved it, anyone wants to get together during the day and try it let me know, also have a buddy that wants to try it for the first time, so any of you ladies who would like to play let me know.
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - Mrs= Capricorn
Mr= Taurus
asking your swinger friend if you can join them. - - [quote=EVILDOERS]"I am not in the lifestyle and don't think I ever really fully would be"
"K USSIR your not a swinger but you wanna have sex with you friends wife with your friend there? HMMMMMMM I smell a swinger in the making"
Naw, I smell a single guy who just wants to get laid. If you aren't really interested in swinging just leave it alone and get your jollies elsewhere. There are plenty of ways for you to get your rocks off in bars and clubs and on Craigslist. It's your VERY common SM attitude that makes it tough for the very few single guys who get it and really want to be part of the lifestyle. No wonder so many people constantly say that singles aren't really swingers. But don't worry. You aren't alone. We've met TONS of single dudes over the years who've admitted that they would NEVER allow their wife (if they ever got married) to fuck another man. Swinging is an attitude and a mindset. A guy who would let you fuck his wife is risking a lot and sharing with you the most important thing in his life. If you can't grasp that concept you should just stay home and jerk it to online porn.[/quote]
Yeah, that was well put
And thanks deliciouslywet for your response too.
I guess I'll leave it alone and if I'm hanging out with them and it happens great if not that's fine too.
What to wear to a swingers party??? - - LOL well ty Ray..... for some reason it seems to be hubbys favorite outfit also...... : )
Picky Picky - No not your nose - [quote=ALLWENEEDISU]I'm picky, like probably a little bit unrealistically so. I figure I have the man of my dreams who is hung, smart, fun, charismatic and attractive. I shouldn't settle for less then total attraction. This should be true for all.
I realize I'm a old hand at this, been in and out (ha) of the lifestyle since 2011, and I've basically done all the things, but if you're with your perfect partner then my understanding is swinging is an enhancement to your sex life. Never settle for less (old swinger advice for the newer swingers) just to have a new partner/experience/taking one for the team.
What are your thoughts? [/quote]
I think it depends on what you're looking to get out of swinging and what you value in a sexual experience. While I agree with some of your points I also know from experience that different partners/playmates can bring many different things to the table. I've been with women who were absolutely amazing kissers. I've met play partners who knew little sex "tricks" that had never occured to me or to my primary partner that we've been able to incorporate in our own play. I've been fortunate to have sex with women who brought an amazing level of enthusiasm and energy to our encounters. And, lastly, and perhaps even more important, I've met and played with women who I wasn't necessarily immediately attracted to but who I became VERY attracted to once I got to know them a little better and the sex was mind-blowing.
I've ultimately learned not to judge a book by it's cover. That physical attraction isn't necessarily the ENTIRE package. And that what makes a person a great sex partner sometimes transcends the purely physical. YMMV Ultimately you are likely get out of swinging more or less what you expect to get out of swinging. If you are less than thrilled at how other men compare to the physical criteria you've listed about your significant other then you probably won't really enjoy swinging all that much. Just my two cents after being in swinging even longer than you. [em]Emo_12[/em]
Oh for fuck's sake! - Really? - [quote=EVILDOERS]It's not enough that gonorrhea and syphilis is making a 'cum'back? Now we've got a NEW STI to worry about? Take me now, Jeebus! [em]Emo_79[/em]
[url=http://www.fox4news.com/news/83981891-story]New sexually transmitted disease scares the actual fuck out of Utah swingers and other perverts :-p[/url][/quote]
Senator Todd Weiler is speaking at a rally to Support Healthy Utah at the State Capitol Building in Salt Lake City tomorrow. Weiler is sponsoring a resolution to declare pornography a public health crisis in Utah. Since he is so interested in our health, Maybe you could go to the rally and pass out condoms to all his supporters, and advocate safe sex be encouraged and get him to try and point the Utah educational system away from the abstinence only bias. Since Utah's longstanding high rates of pornographic consumption suggest, that perhaps, many of today's parents got a lot of their sexual education from pornography, perhaps parents, and an older male ecclesiastical authority, left alone in an office with a child, should not be a child's only resource for sex education. While you're at it, see if he will become an advocate for Planned Parenthood.
Ocho Rios Jamaica - Trip Jan 15-22 - [quote=PANACA7453]We have been there a couple of times, (before we were "swingers"). We loved the canopy tour and Dunns river falls. Let us know if you find any fun swinger clubs. [/quote]We will thanks for the tip.
Swinger Friendly Businesses - Business or services friendly to swingers - Is there a place on this site that has a listing of swingular friendly business? Should there be? I don't know if this is the right place for this, but I am a skilled Carpet/Prefinished Hardwood installer and would love to give members of the site a swinger's discount.
Where on Earth are all the hot Virginia Swingers? - Show us what you have to offer VA!!! - I (Ron) was a lifelong resident of the Richmond area. Just moved less than a year ago. We still go back and would love to meet new friends when we do.
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