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Polyamory, Swinging, and the Single Man - - We know a few people that associate with the poly community, as in consider themselves poly and we have been to a few poly pot lucks ourselves. The poly people we know are all very nice people. None of the people we actually know that that consider themselves poly have ever actually been in a long term full on poly relationship as in everyone involved ending up equally as committed to each other and the relationship. We have known people where a married couple, with a bisexual wife had a live in relationship with a bisexual woman but in the end it did not last very long and the couple and the woman went their separate ways and we have know a few couples that have been in exclusive relationships with another couple where part of the equation wanted to basically make it as permanent as their primary relationship and part of the equation did not. Relationships with commitments, especially those that are the most rewarding are life altering and if you are not really, all in, heart and soul the advanced level of commitment and the corresponding obligations will eventually become a burden you may be unwilling to bear. If what is looking for as an individual is deep passionate friendships without expectations and obligations, that you feel reduce your freedom, then a poly relationship and marriage may not be in their best interest. There is nothing wrong with that. If a deeply pair bonded couple wants the freedom to enjoy deep and passionate friendships with others, including sex, without the same level of obligation and expectation they offer one to another then are they poly or are they swingers? Probably more swingers than truly poly-amorous or maybe they are poly light or swinger intense.
The secret may be to figure out who you are and then be true to yourself. A lack of understanding of self can lead to disappointments in relationships. Intentionally misrepresenting or misleading someone for sex rarely and probably never ends up all good. We all on occasion may unintentionally end up misleading someone when we try and be what we think others wants us to be and in the end we just do not have it in us.
We can say for a certainty that we are not poly in the truest sense of the word or really even poly light. Our relationship as a couple is paramount and we willfully and joyfully commit to all the obligations and commitments and even the disagreements that accompany living our lives together and with our progeny. We both inherited genes that seem to have targeted both of us to seek out a life long partner, have and raise a family and to express ourselves sexually mostly together as a couple. We have been in a couple of longer than usual not really exclusive relationships where we were seeing the same people pretty much weekly. We discovered that we are okay with having good friends with sexual benefits but the ability or the desire to be in a poly relationship is just not within either one of us. Self discovery and relationships often requires a bit of experimentation and a lot of self examination. Affiliating and seeking to self identify with a group to achieve acceptance friendship and sex is pretty common and pretty normal. Many of the people we know that self identify as poly are not unwilling to enjoy a little sex for sex sake between friends so long as they understand that is all that is happening.
Good luck and have fun!
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - Wouldn't guess in a million years but Mrs. is a Virgo. VIRGIN??? I know, not really what cums to mind. lol. Mr. is Aries (it figures)
How close is too close - - I think that the question poses a number of possibilities... If only one person is starting to feel something beyond sexual attraction then that person should step back and examine why they are feeling this way. If it is only one way then the person who is having the feelings needs to take stock of the reality of the situation and realize the potential problems involved. If the situation is mutual and noone else realizes it then the two involved need to discuss it... and they both have to weigh the situation. Why is this happening and are the possible ramifications worth the risks involved... If it is possible talk about it with everyone concerned and make a determination as to what needs to be done. I've actually heard about a situation where a couple split over a swinging situation and the lady from the one couple went with the guy from the other couple and the gal from the other couple went with the husband of the woman that went with her husband.. A real twist on the concept of swapping....
Being poly may put a totally different slant on how I look at this problem... since I am involved with a married woman. My wife and her husband are not poly... The other couple are not swingers and we are very good friend as couples... and everyone knows about she and I. It's very difficult to explain to anyone how this works but it does and it can..... So I have a unique perspective on love and swinging... or just married people and love between non married people in married situations.
I would generally say, however, that swingers should not get into love situations unless you and your mate and the other couple can handle this situation.. If a love relationship starts to happen run don't walk to the nearest exit and don't turn around.
Just possibilities .. There are quite a few poly people involved iin swinging...including some of the older people entering into swinging... They are looking to expand their sexual and love relationships as well. THere are also younger people in the lifestyle who are poly.. The subject has come up a surprising number of times of various swinger sites...
So if you're not poly and start to feel love for someone other than you mate... Assess you first as to why... but regardless, if you love your mate....get away fromo that particular situation...
Ray
What are swingers really looking for ?Are they looking for frien - Has the happen to you. - Just some advice, we respect that you are quite obvious of what you are seeking in your profile, however I do have to say that the forum you are seeking friendship from may not be the best one to accomplish what you are seeking. Since this is a lifestyle forum, most people are seeking others who want to participate with them in the lifestyle, if we make new friends in the process that is a bonus. So if you are not looking to participate in the lifestyle, then you may be better off checking out a "vanilla" couples group.
Just our 2 cents
Any Swingers out there? Golf swingers that is... - - Whos up for foolin around... for 9 or 18 holes? Oh the possible twists to this subject line are endless! lol... Golf Pro Arnold Palmers wife, once said to Johny Carson on his show, that "before a tournement, She'd kiss Arnies balls" for good luck... to which Johnny replied, " Ill bet that makes his putter flutter! " Any other couples out there aflicted with Pasture Pool Fool disorder? wanna play? Is there, such a thing as a local swingers tournement?
What were you for Halloween? - - Halloween seems to be high holy days for swingers at least around here. Did you dress up and go to a lifestyle party? We didn't know if we would for sure be in town so we had to come up with some quick last minute costumes. Ms. Evil was Ines Sainz...super tight, lowcut top, tight jeans, overstuffed bra, ubiquitous sunglasses on top of her head, press credentials and her microphone complete with TV Azteca logo. I was a NY Jets player, Jets jersey, eye black, towel wrapped around my waist with one of Ms. Evil's strap-ons poking out under the towel. The only Jets jersey I could find was Mark Sanchez so after more than a few drinks when clueless people kept asking who/what I was supposed to be I smeared some chocolate on my upper lip and told them I was a "dirty Sanchez". ;-)
Evil
Question - do you talk about other swingers? - We agree that name dropping is a bad thing and in the few years that we have been in this lifestyle we have only had one bad experience and the funny thing is when we vaguely describe the experience only when asked (this means NO names, ScreenNames, locations or anything like that) we ALWAYS get the same response... Ohh so you met "ScreenName" too... our mouth usually hits the floor with the "how the fuck" look.
but other than that we would never kiss n tell because its no one else's business who we have or have not met or been with .
single male's showing on cam - curious on what you think - my initial thought is,what does it matter who shows what. this is a swingers site
what the f#%@ was he thinking? - swingers still deserve respect - That is totally over the top. We see a few single guys from time to time and would never have anyone who messaged like that meet us. That is not only in poor taste but one stupid guy! I don't know what some of these guys think! If you want to succeed be a gentleman and send a nice message respecting my wife.
How to identify yourself as a Swinger - - LOL, yeah this subject...or fantasy (and the black ring, or the ankle bracelet, or the...(insert urban legend here)) crops up every few months or so. Bottom line, no matter how hard people want to find a way to ID other swingers in public it won't happen. Let's say for a minute that all or even just most swingers DID agree somehow on some kind of article to wear or display. It would take about 24 hours (likely less) for someone to post it online and it would be pretty much common knowledge within a week. Ergo nobody would actually display it for fear of being outed. Sorry, just human nature on all counts.
We identify other swingers the old fashioned way. Sheer irrational speculation. Either that of we consult the Psychic Network. Both ways work equally well. [em]Emo_67[/em]
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