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Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Well said Mr. X
-D-
Here's something Ive been curious about - - It seems like the lifestyle is no less judgmental than the vanilla crowd. Honestly we aren't here so we can wear the cool lifestyle team jacket nor get our super-secret swinger decoder ring (drink more Ovaltine and use a condom). It's kind of funny that the same group of people who get all bent out of shape at the vanilla community for labeling and judging us turn around and do it from within. If I missed some federal definition of the term swinger than perhaps I'm wrong, otherwise why waste a moment of time passing judgment on who gets deemed worthy of the sacred title? I would have to say the definition of a swinger is someone who says "hey, I'm a swinger!" Be honest, how many swinger couples do you know that never play? They may go to meet and greets, maybe even house parties, but seldom if ever play. Are they swingers? Is there some monthly quota we need to meet to maintain our swinger status? I'm being over the top to make a point. I think of the lifestyle crowd as an enlightened group that realizes sex is amazing and variety is amazing and sex with variety is TOTALLY AWESOME! We forgo the silly social rules and regulations because we understand how much they confine society into little boxes of good and bad, right and wrong; and most of that is subjective moral hogwash. It's kind of discouraging to see members of a community that should be supporting one another pass judgment as to who is and who isn't. Being a swinger is a state of mind baby. Nobody can make you a swinger, nobody can take it away. So in closing to the single swingers out there I say...go swing you fricking swinging swingers you!!!
Now, if you want to define something useful...what the hell is bi-comfortable (kidding, totally kidding I know there are all sorts of threads dedicated to that topic)?
Clubbing? - New to this lifestyle - I'm new to this lifestyle and was wondering, are there any good clubs where swingers go to meet. I RSVPd to a party on the home page, but it says there's an 89-person limit and there are twice the number already signed up. Chances are, I won't get in.
So where is a good place to go to just have fun with like-minded people?
Question - do you talk about other swingers? - I have found that when I meet someone new for drinks or dinner etc, that a good place to start the conversation is about the site on which you met and some of your experiences there. My question is, How much, or do you talk about other members or swingers in your area. Sometimes it's a very small world, lol especially if you're meeting someone local.Usually it seems hard to avoid if you or they have comments or certifications on your profiles, sometimes someone will ask what you thought of "so&so" I usually try to be discreet and not mention any names if I'm discussing some experience I've had. But then again there have been times when other people have mentioned names of swingers who were really hot, or maybe even some that were not "so fun" to meet lol and it has been helpful to me. So what do you think?
Secret facebook group for SLC? - - I actually started one: Northern Utah / Southwest Wyoming Swingers
It isn't jumping yet, but would like to see more people added.
Search for Nathan H., I live in Mtn View.
I posted this in case you are interested in joining. I figured that if we were able to get a group going we could communicate in ways other than on here. The choice is yours, there is no pressure
What sets you apart from other swingers - Lets see whos looking for what. - I guess my advantage and disadvantage at the same time is my age...it goes with the bum per sticker....young men fuck, old men make love, even if it's just for tonight...*S*
In need of advice - sexual - [quote=ANDRAYWAY_SHANAYNAY]I just have to say it amazes me how judgmental swingers can be... you would think from the outside looking in that they wouldn't be. [/quote]
Not judging just yet, I do that and make a fool of myself more than I want to admit. But in this case I am trying to see something real..
Have you considered he might be a single male posing as married? We have seen that a few times over the years. My point is there is no one to validate him or his story. When we have differences of opinions or ask for advice on the site we recognize who we are talking about and can respect or have some faith in what they are saying.
I believe if your going to talk about a specific person in a negative way on a forum they should have the right to see it and defend themselves.
interracial pics - how bout some fun pics - Just curious. Why is it most of the interracial pics are black men on white women and not the other way around? Just curious why there doesn't seem to be equal coverage. There were probably 6 or 7 black women on white guys but most were the other way around.
Of course, in our case, because we are chinese and there are so few chinese swingers, most every time we play it is interracial. :l
Hanging out this weekend - Habits tonight?? - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET][quote=HERRIMANFUN]We enjoy it if there is a couple we are interested in they have sections that aren't so loud that you can talk. But yes it is loud. And we have run into lots of swingers there lots of times. But I hear that a lot I think most people don't talk to people or just walk up to a stranger(s) and say hi. But I the male half does a lot that's how you meet people and then once you chat a bit it comes out that they are swingers. Not a big fan of he meet and greets it's always the same people unfortunately. And that's great for some but we haven't really made a connection at any that we have been too, yet. [/quote]
We have been to the meet and greets too and we don't go very often and have not been to one in ages. Maybe twice a year we hit one but when we do go we pretty much introduce ourselves to everybody and if we missed someone we didn't mean to. You do have to be proactive to be successful in meeting people or at least reactive in a positive fashion when someone interesting approaches you. We have been to Habits and ended up leaving with someone, but we had already had a bit of friendly back and forth somehow with the people we left with or it was someone we met previously and had at least chatted a bit. We think we have only been there maybe five times altogether. Well, maybe Mr. Delicious will put on a collared shirt just in case we head that way but for now we are thinking maybe the Green Pig sounds fun. [/quote]
Well if you make it to Habits please come and say hello.
The vent! - Judgements, I'm so tired of them. - In the recent years I have changed, morphed even, into the person I am today. A swinger. Eccentric, confidant, secure, uninhibited, with a puissant sexuality. What I consider "out of the box!" Open, understanding, diverse.
Only within the last year have we dared to call ourselves "swingers" we decided together to change our lifestyle, to change our rules, to change our minds about how we regard each other as individuals.
What I have noticed as I have taken this quest into being a swinger, is how the people in and around my life are noticing this change, and reacting with judgements. They live by different rules than I do, they choose to, and yet they still judge.
Are these people just unhappy with themselves? Are they jealous? Why are they concerned?
I have failed to understand this. Why do they spew hate at me?(I call it emotional vomit) Shouldn't they be happy for me?
If these people are already having averse feelings about me and/or my behavior, how will they react to find out we are swingers?
I now know why some of swingers only associate with other swingers. To bad for us there are few to be found down here in the south.
:(
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."-Mother Theresa
Thanks for letting me vent, here's to living out of the box.
~Mrs~
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