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First time flop rule - it happens - i have thought about this. we are newbies and havent even met up with a couple yet (there arent many swingers in our area apparently) we get the 'what if' thoughts. 'what if we dont click?' or 'what if we do click, everyone gets along great and we chicken out?' i mean were not shy, maybe were just nervous cuz were 'virgins'?
Travel and first time - - Your comments make me wonder if you should be in this lifestyle at all. Controlling how close you get to someone is part of the territory. You solve that like any other problem by talking and making decisions togheter.
One time threesomes are as often a flop as they are a thumbs up encounter. A lot depends on what you are looking for along that line. If you have never had one you may not even know exactly what you are looking for. The two of you need to sit down and discuss what you want to have happen. For some it is just the size of the dick while the opposite end of the spectrum is some skill and the two of you working together to give her an earth shaking experience.
But, unless you are a minute man and pretty lousy in giving her what she needs in the bedroom I would not worry too much about it. But that is just me. If you are a stingy tight wad, or abuse her, or just a general putts and the two of you are always fighting then you might have a lot to fear.
Swingers do get divorced but stats will show that there is just as much danger from someone in your neighborhood that you do not know about than there is from a swinging with a couple that you know. In general you will find that relationships in and out of this lifestyle are a funny and complex thing. There is no such thing as a typical relationship. In general, although someone might give up a bad marriage for a relationship with someone else that is a better spouse. it is rare that someone gives up a good marriage just for someone else that is just better in bed.
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - There is a Facebook group you can search and ask to join. Search Unspoken.
Active group - - We are a fast growing group of swingers in Utah in a safe and active group on telegram. You will need to verify to make sure it stays safe
https://t.me/joinchat/7OaWQ7VONCBjOGVh
Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - I was looking through the forum subjects and when I came upon this one and looked I wondered why I hadn't commented, since I am a swinger and am poly for quite a few years and I am involved with 2 women as secondary relationships. Someone said "poly is about being monogomous within a plural relationship." The term monogamous doesn't even enter into poly. Poly relationships can be primary, secondary or tertiary. Further people can be added on add-infinitem, so long as everyone involved in particularly primary and soemtimes secondary relationships are consentual about that aspect. In tertiary relationships it is necessary that that they be aware of all other relaionships and OK with that concept.
I also belong to a Poly group that is not like Yahoo or AOL groups. It is privately owned and is open to poly and poly friendly people. While I know that a small number of the group does swing, they do not advertise. Poly people generally take issue with swinging as be strictly recreational SEX! and no love where as poly, supposedly, is love based not necessarily any sex....but sex usually is involved at some level. The attitude is that swinging is not a good thing that swinging is diametrically opposed to poly.
We definitely do swing and I have 2 secondary relationships. One could be a primary if she could get over the hurt from a failed..abusive marriage of 18 years. We met thru swinging and will continue until I can't walk talk or motovate. My wife while not professing to be poly is in love with that lady as well as I am. We would invite her to join us as a primary relationship and have mentioned that to her... She is afraid to "lay my heart out and have it stomped on again".
So while there are some similarities in swinging and poly in that more and more swingers are looking for relationships, i.e., "friends with benefits" ; "Friends in and out of the bedroom". These friendships are based on attraction and sex after the attraction. Poly people take the concept that poly is based on loving someone and if sex happens then OK, but that love is the key and sex is at best secondary. I don't have any problems with poly and swinging. We have met people while swinging and I have fallen in love or they have fallen in love with my wife or me.
Swinging and poly are definitely compatable..at least for us.
LDS Swingers Survey - Will any former/active LDS swingers take my survey? - Done...guilty!!!!
New Swingers Club in Utah - Gauging interest in new club - Love it, we went to Secrets in Orlando and loved it.
San Diego clubs? - Friday June 4 - We'll be in San Diego on Friday June 4. Is there a good swingers club the wife and I could visit that night?
Then we'll be in Los Angeles Sat night. What about a club there? (We've been to Sea Mountain Inn in Palm Springs and enjoyed that, but we didn't want to drive that far Sat night)
Thanks!
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - Bright orange and glorious faded purple 1970 Pinto yeahh baby yeah!!!
or not ;)
Other Swinger sites in Utah - Anyone tell us of other sites? - if someone were to make a new swingers site for Utah, what functionalities would you want in it ?
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