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couples more [oft ] ask for couples or single females. why is th - - We havent had a lot of experience with single males or single females....or 3somes all together, really......however, the one time that we did show interest in a single male for my pleasure (Mrs. Stitch typen) we had a really bad experience in finding one that was honest with why he was in this lifestyle all together. When we found a male we were interested in and we met up for some fun...the fun happened and after we found out the truth of his reality...and that was that his WIFE didnt put out at all, and he was really a married man with 3 small children looken for sex without strings. NOw the "sex without strings" thing is not what bothered me, however, the wife and 3 small children thing bothered me a great deal for very long time after that night. We (hubby and I) were both really upset by it, and wasnt looken for an experience that contributed to someone getting really hurt, and lied to. Sad thing is, we still see him lingering on the websites for swingers and being quite active in the lifestyle.
I realize that just the bad actions of one single male doesnt mean that all single males are the same.....we also realize that there are probably some single women that are also cheating as well. After that bad experience we both decided that if we wanted a 3some experience it would have to be with ppl that we knew and trusted and really knew their life story. We decided that we wanted to just meet some fun couples and stick with married, stable couples that are looking for the same fun as we are.
We dont ever want to contribute to breaking up a marriage and hurting someone else, we just want to have fun!!!
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - I think my profile says this,, not into (( Interacial )))
but i do have friends that are black so i guess im racist
when i know who i will & will not sleep with..
so i guess i need to let my black friends know
i will no longer be there friends because there black and im a racist..
i will get there opinion on this and get back with you.
but im sure you know exactly what they will say lol..
kristy
Couples Oasis in Vegas - - Have been.. wasn't impressed. Felt like the kind of place you might get herpes just by sitting on a chair. Hosts were very friendly, crowd was older ... didn't see any couples there we would have rated over a "4 / 10". Stayed about 30 minutes and left.
Honestly, swingers clubs in vegas are not good... the tourist atmosphere lends itself to people just trying to make money... they don't have to create a quality product to get people to pay big bucks. Save your moeny.
When talking about vegas clubs, you'll find that most people over 60 speak fairly positively about them... most people under 40 won't go anywhere near them.... That should tell you something.
Help With Wife - Wife has fantasies but is super hesitant to experiment. - Personally I think you might be a little too eager (can't blame you, we all were when we started) and pushing just a little too hard to make her fantasy a reality. Rather than trying to find a way to get around the "Catch 22" of her fantasy maybe just explore it more verbally and see if it evolves into some kind of scenario that she is comfortable with that more easily can happen in the real world.
The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for.
You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies.
Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck!
edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee. [em]Emo_79[/em]
Facebook group - - If anything, I can create one and post the link to it here. I admin several pages... none for swingers... yet...
Single females profile... "but not" - - At the risk of taking this even further off topic...I look at honesty the same way I look at sin (not that I believe in the concept of sin). Observing and talking to my neighbors I've discovered that the majority have little "pet" sins that they unilaterally seem to deem more important to avoid than other sins. Some of my neighbors would never consider shopping on Sunday but don't have a problem working in their yards in rather skimpy (for them) attire during the summer. Others seem adamant that church attendance is more than mandatory but have no problem hitting Chuck A Rama after church. Still others are devout temple goers yet have confided that they have a single glass of champagne on New Years Eve. Honesty, to me, appears very similar. I know many swingers who are less than honest about their weight and/or age yet really seem to get upset if someone is less than honest about their relationship status. Still others state they are disease and drug free and demand the same in others yet I've seen them with cold sores (yup that's HSV people) and regularly partake in pot or use illegally obtained erection enhancing drugs. Honesty, like many things in life, is apparently quite flexible and indeed seems to be a matter of perspective.
ps- Not bashing, insinuating or otherwise making any kind of judgment about the OP's or anyone else in this thread. Just some general observations.
What's the universal swinger signal? - How can you spot a swinger?? - [quote=SOUTHERNFUN]FYI, If you see a man and woman grab their crotch and spit, they are probably redneck swingers
Friends or swinging partner - - That's not really an easy question to answer. We've met a bunch of couples just once. We generally don't hop into bed on the first date, but it does happen. I think there have been couples that we've hopped into bed with that we might not see in other than swinger settings, but we definitely have friends we swing with that we would and do. There are swinger couples we'd really like to spend vanilla time with but just haven't had the time. Candycanepa is right in that this is a swingers site for swinging friends, so the intent is to find friends to hop into bed with. We're a super busy couple. He travels 4-5 days a week and, like a lot of you, we have kids at home. That makes it tough to have time to really have close friends, swinger or vanilla.
closed doors? - - It seems as if the doors are closed to a couple with little or no experience.
Why is that?
My wife and I have been posting ads on various swing sites for a while now and haven't been lucky enough to find a nice couple or single female to hook up with.
Is it that swingers don't want to "waste their time" breaking in newbies or what?
We've chatted with a single female who blew us off and a couple of couples who have done the same.
We would just love to find a couple or single female who we can actually hook up with. How are you supposed to "enjoy the lifestyle" when the lifestyle won't enjoy you?
Married & single? - single minded affrairs? -
It is a double standard. We have meet several couples that would never consider a cheating guy, but would a cheating woman. I think some people ignore the double standard because of the Law of scarcity.
Married/relationship bound men that are exploring without their spouse are no different from Single men has been our experience.
If anyone Male or Female is having a sexual or emotional relationship without their primary partner's knowledge then they are cheating. It's not a matter of the quality or quantity or even if the partner had suspicions or not. It's a matter of trust which they are breaking by having a relationship that their partner would not approve of.
And yes the Law of Scarcity is accepted by many swingers in regard to a female wanting to explore.....including us.
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