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Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this.
It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more.
Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell.
It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.)
You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.)
Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.
Meet and Greet/Play party - swingers party - Meet and greet/ hotel party
The Golden Nugget bar
Ramada Inn Pocatello
1-208-237-0020
133 West Burnside Interstate 86 Exit 61, Pocatello, ID 83202 US
Ladies and gentlemen, we “Fifty shadesoffucking” kik group would like to invite you join us at the Ramada Inn bar “The Golden Nugget” one of our group members did some footwork and found that the bar is back open and they will work with us . In light of losing our hotel for parties after last year’s debacle.
The bar will cater to us and they have made arrangements for us to get a block of rooms at 55$ a night the only drawback is Saturday nights they host Hispanic dances there so we booked a Friday night to see how things work out. This is also a cash only bar, knowing ahead of time will keep issues from transpiring.
This is really a trial run to see if it is feasible for future events, the more the merrier. When making reservations please tell the front desk it is for the party on the 24th in “The Golden Nugget” there are 10 rooms set aside but more can be added to the promotion we are getting. The bar managers set everything up for us they are very willing to work with us and yes they know what kind to parties we will be having.
Dear single females and males - Tired of this. - [quote=MrandMrsSexyKats]This is the problem with single anything on a swingers site...you demonstrate your one track selfish motivation...it isn’t a thread about hooking up it’s about informing the community about a problem..and you hijack it...what a fucking idiot...[/quote]
Why are you being so aggressive towards people who aren't doing anything to you?
Singles posing as couples - - What about us? We're actually swingers who like to meet nice people. Sometimes even singles. Sometimes men. Sometimes women. sometimes couples. Some plump. Some skinny. We don't have ANY trouble sorting through the screwy ones. It's the [b][i][u]nice[/u][/i][/b] aspect that we seem to be having trouble finding on this forum recently. Sorry to stray from the OP's topic but it looks like it's heading south anyway.[em]Emo_42[/em]
Ways to point out Swingers in public - - My wife bought me a super cool chevron stack ring (3 rings that stack together) by David Yurman. The middle ring is black. I wear it on my right hand and sometimes pull the 2 silver rings off and just wear the black middle ring. I’m always on the look out for black rings. We have some friends that wear them.
Swingers at work... - - Yes it's fascinating, what kind of reaction you will get from people when you realize that you know them from some where else. I (male) had a similar experience on one of my many business trips. I was visiting a place far from home and was searching the local area as I do for someone to meet and try to find a tour guide of the local area. I have always figured why not be a swinger, because if we hit it off then everyone wins, new friends in different parts of the country. Anyway, I arrived at my business location and after about three days of working with this certain gentleman I notice A photo on his desk that was identical to one they had on their profile (different site mind you) now we had been working together for almost a week straight and he was a very nice man. So I pondered how I would suggest that I had seen the picture somewhere else, I figured that a nice little greeting card was the way to go. I politely wrote in the card, something along the lines of "I believe I have seen you and your wife on the site (bla, bla, bla,) and was interested in whether you two would like to spend sometime showing me the local area. Not once suggesting that we play. I gave him the card on a Friday, and I let it go for the weekend, hoping to chat with him and see what their reply would be. When I arrived at my work station on the following Monday I found out he called in sick, and had scheduled vacation for the rest of the week that I would still be there. I never did get any reply other then the cold shoulder. As I said it's very fascinating what kind of reactions you get from people.
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - What could possibly a better car than a "Woodie". We have a 47 Pontiac Woodie wagon. Its a great car, fun to drive and yes we get a lot of jokes about having a woodie.
LDS Swingers Survey - Will any former/active LDS swingers take my survey? - So far we have 54 responses. Pretty interesting so far. I was thinking I would post it while some of you are at church tomorrow. :)
Friend collectors or swingers - - We fwb couple. We don't like collecting friends and I usually clean out most about once a year. Just hard to find a good friend
Something to consider - No means no online too. - [quote=AZWETNWILD][quote=DELICIOUSLYWET][quote=11MIKE]Thank god for the block button is all I have to say[/quote]
Yes but we believe that perhaps some swingers learned nothing by being blocked. They will just keep on keeping on until everybody blocks them and think it was all so unfair. We are thinking maybe some swingers need a wake up call. [/quote]
Learn nothing? This isn't school, I don't think you can teach them anything.[/quote]
I think for the most part you are absolutely right about that. The nature of how swingers meet each other and how meet and greets are announced online has sort blurred the concept of by invitation it seems. We have found that when we post online we are going to attend a meet and greet that some of the pushy sorts sign up too and get so pushy we have in the end just decided to not go if they are going to be there. In circumstances where the party was arranged by invitation only we have never had that problem.
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