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Swingers of Color - - Thanks for all the replys!

Moab Utah - Swingers in Moab - We will be there in Mid October!

stupid posts on topics that may make newbies change their minds! - - If Amy is addressing some rules of etiquette, in regards to forum posting, I think to immediately dismiss her is unfair. I cannot seem to comprehend how someone posting something stupid, moronic or childish would have a negative affect on a new couple or individual's decision to look into swinging? I can understand how posting something stupid, moronic or childish might have a negative affect on how a couple or individual. with any level of experience, might feel about the poster. Perhaps, Amy is addressing how often we just go off topic? Is that not perhaps a valid complaint? Amy, has a valid point, in that interrupting a conversation can be rude. If a poster opens up a thread, within these forums, that is pertinent to the swinging lifestyle, and a discussion begins, perhaps it is appropriate, to let the conversation evolve around the topic. If a poster makes a statement, that anyone feels to be offensive, dangerous or inaccurate, and someone disagrees then voicing their opposition, is still subject relevant. Personally, if an original posture, opens up, or ventures into a discussion, that seems predatory or abusive, I see no reason to not at least ask for clarification, to make sure I am understanding correctly, what they are saying, or if it is quite clear what they are saying to voice my disagreement. The world ask us all to be far too agentic and compliant. Just because someone says something that involves sex, should not make it acceptable, if it is in violation of anyone's humanity. Amy mentions posting on topics that may have new swingers change their minds about swinging, and not just humor. New people investigating swinging, perhaps, should know that the level of intimacy, found in swinging, creates a certain additional level of risk. To dwell on it, to the point we trust no one may be counter productive. Perhaps, giving anyone with any sort of abusive and or unhealthy approach toward their fellow human beings too much time on the front page forums could lead anyone investigating the lifestyle to flee even more than stupid humor. We would rather laugh than to be marginalized and or abusively objectified. Personally, I think some of the more ridiculous post, and questions, that were intended as a serious question, will die rather quickly if everyone adopted a subject relevant attitude toward contributing to the forum threads. But what about the post that are swinging lifestyle relevant, that are interesting, and that perhaps, especially for someone new, might be beneficial? Is it possible that to go off subject, so that those discussing the subject at hand, have to sift through all our off topic humor, might be rude? Personally, I enjoy reading a lot of the playful nonsense, that ends up in the forums. Never-the-less, I have decided, that I will personally, try and avoid getting off topic, unless the original post was obviously written in such a manner that it seem to invite some level of ridiculousness or was obviously leading toward a more expansive discussion. If the original poster, seems happy to wander, even if the discussion wanders around a bit, even if it is a serious subject, I think I can feel safe to go off topic, and even then to be more careful. So Amy, if you are asking to be respected, I have decided to, think and rethink, before I submit anything off topic. Hopefully, I am on topic at present.

Single Females/couples. What makes another couple stand out? - - [quote=Marman]What makes a couple stand out to you? We are new and VERY inexperienced. We aren't sure how to be noticed. How to connect with like minded individuals. What draws you to someone's profile? What makes you message them? What keeps you interested?[/quote] The situation in Utah is different than many other localities because there is not much of a club scene. By that I mean swingers clubs, most large cities have at least one or more. These are places where you can meet friends to have sex or fool around or even make new friends. They are very popular in Houston, we have 5 clubs. While its not what we like many younger people do like them. You probably will not meet a single girl but you could meet a couple or single guy. Some couples prefer swinger resorts or cruises for sexual activity with others. We prefer dating other couples and getting to know one another over drinks and if everyone agrees then getting naked and exploring our boundaries. Of course attraction is the first thing we notice but how a couple expresses themselves in their profile really makes a difference for us. Parties are also a great way to meet people and meet and greets are also. We have no problem emailing couples we are interested in or think we might be attracted to and we probably get a response 10% of the time and maybe end up meeting less than half the time. Usually if we meet something happens sexually if everyone agrees and is having fun. Your profile reads well and you are young and attractive. You need more pictures of the both of you even if they are just fully are partially clothed. One pic is unlikely to get the attention you seek. If you want to start with a single lady your chances go down significantly because there are few of them out there and they get to be particular on who they choose to meet. With single men its just the opposite, there are many and they will mostly meet anyone. Look at some of the other profiles and see what you like and try to incorporate that into your profile. If you decide to be really particular on who you meet then you will probably meet fewer people. Patience and a sense of humor about the whole thing will go a long way in helping you have fun times in the lifestyle.

Question for the ladies - - "We totally agree with Valence and Hunt. We're not sure why size is such a big deal. I'm your average 6" and don't feel like I have any reason to feel ashamed about it. The one person it should matter to loves it the way it is. " No one here said small guys should be ashamed, As usuall the insecure guys here all came out to complain even though none of the original post was directed at them in anyway. If your wife is happy with what you got great. This is my wifes play time, she wants what she wants. She doesn't settle for what ever is offered. Why should she? "We love the point about women who layer/pushup/tighten or whatever else to make themselves look better with clothes on. Wouldn't it be the same disappointment when the clothes come off as you have had with these single men that weren't the size they said they were. " We Always provide full nude pics of her to good candidates, nothing left to guess. He knows what he is getting. Most swingers and adult sites always show the woman in various stages of undress. More than I can say for the men. You usually never see them there. Mine are in our private pics so anyone we wish to play with can see them. "we Having said that, we would also find it upsetting that he had lied about his size if that was indeed what was important to you. So maybe force the single men in the future to provide a picture with their unit being measured with a ruler, then you should know exactly what you're getting. " Some will do this, the rest get all defensive when asked. 99% of the ones who send pics try to fake them so their real size will not show. We don't play with just anyone regardless of looks or size. If there is no physical attraction it won't happen. In our own experience most couples are quite selective. We are too ands thats our right. None of the original post by us was ever directed at any guy on here. No need to get all defensive and complain. Your manhood is not in question. I knew when we brought the question up what would happen but the wife wanted to ask others their experiences.

Moab Utah - Swingers in Moab - It’s going to be a great weekend we are in Moab now enjoying the weather and trails awesome place!

Friend collectors or swingers - - We agree. #1 we dont accept blind friend requests #2 if we take time to message you and you ONLY send back a friend request, dont wast our time. #3 if you are on our friends list, we do kinda expect to keep in touch even if its periodically. If we send you a couple messages and your on our friends list and we never hear back from you, we delete you. Not hard to figure out but people can NOT get it.

KEY PARTY - - We 'get' and actually applaud the effort to find some way to avoid the often typical cliquey swing party but still have to wonder how feasible it might be in practice. The problem, as we see it, is that swinging is an atypical social construct in that it is driven almost entirely by superficial factors such as relative attractiveness (age, height, weight, body type, breast size, cock size, and any number of other physical characteristics). When we first started swinging, back around the time Cleopatra was busy inventing hookup culture and the term unicorn, we quickly discovered that swinging wasn't the sexual egalitarian utopia that many people believe it should be. Indeed, there was actually a broad, distinct caste system, if you will, that governed who hooked up with who and who was relegated to the sidelines at least in certain circles or situations. This might be best illustrated by one of our very early encounters with two couples at a swinger meet and greet back east. One of the couples was loudly expounding on their utter disgust with the concept that people in the lifestyle seem to be so "stuck-up" (their term) and were too concerned about "looks" and other superficial characteristics. They went on and on for probably close to an hour before they, I guess, ran out of steam and decided to leave. After they were gone, the other couple at the table laughed a little bit and gave us some fairly sage advice. They told us that we would likely meet three general kinds of swingers in the lifestyle. They said that the first couple was the "Hey, you're swingers and we're swingers so let's fuck!" kind of people and that on the opposite end of the spectrum were the extremely picky, "beautiful people" who spent more time "watching the door" at a swing function always looking for the BBD (bigger, better, deal) and who more often than not left without actually hooking-up/playing. They said that the relatively smaller group in between those two extremes were those who had a little more realistic attitude and who were, while still giving a good amount of weight to initial physical attraction, actually looking a little more FOR reasons to play rather than for reasons NOT to play. They told us to decide for ourselves what kind of swingers we wanted to be and go from there but to never fuck someone that we really didn't want to fuck. *shrug* As to your idea of making it more of a "speed swinging" type of party, I'm almost certain that there are at least a few people here on Swingular who have talked about, if not hosted, just such a party. It might be interesting if they or any of their guests chimed in as to how it turned out.

Calling all losers! - LS and club scene - ...........................................I am bored on a Sunday, so going to waste a bit of time. :) I have said this before and I will mention it again here. Often times people are looking for a black and white answer, a "this" or "that" or they tend to pigeonhole themselves into a place that feels comfortable to them. It is great that people can search for and find people of similar interests. The original question was why is the Utah scene so closely related to the club scene. To me, that isn't necessarily the way things are and so I am responding to shed a different insight into the question. How big is the club scene in Utah? I don't feel it is that big. We have the Moose Lounge on Fridays on a regular basis, we used to have Habits and then we have the parties that happen once a month or less frequently, such as the Sinful parties. Give or take a few other club locations and attendees. The average attendance at the Moose Lounge is around 80 people every Friday. My guess is that this number is well under 10% of the swinging population in the area. Just estimating. This only happens once a week. If we only consider the weekend as play time (Friday and Saturday), which is also an inaccuracy since people do meet weekdays and Sunday as well, that means that only 5% of the population of swingers is actually attending the swinger club scene on the weekends. Certainly not a majority by any means. Sinful is definitely a club scene. And maybe we should define "club". I will say that is an environment where there is a DJ or another form of music, often times on the loud side as people like to dance, has a dance area for such activities, and typically doesn't open until 9 or so at night. Sinful probably hosts on average 150 people on average (S&A, don't get mad if this number is off,lol) and these happen maybe once a month. Lets just round this high and say that is 20% of the swinger population. However, many that attend the Moose and other clubs are the same that attend Sinful. Similar crowd and often an overlap. So still nowhere near a majority, or even a large percent. In fact, quite the opposite. This scene is well in the minority. So I am submitting that this really isn't and accurate assessment of the situation and based on more of a sense or feeling than actual fact. What this tells us then is that most of the people in the lifestyle are not meeting at clubs and are not necessarily dancing and staying up until all hours of the night but are finding other avenues where they meet. What other options are out there. Venus Game night, Kandy K, Sensual Massage... These venues are not club scenes, are a relaxed place and quiet enough to talk without "using hand signals". There still might be music and a dance floor, but there are certainly quite areas to talk, socialize and sometimes even fuck, if that is your scene. I would estimate that as many or more people attend these type of events and for most of these it is an older crowd who is more apt to be in bed at an earlier hour, though that is also an assumption and assumptions are obviously a poor way to derive information or determine a truth. I would question if any of the people in this forum have attending these more mellow parties and what they didn't like about that. The loud music is gone, it is a great way to meet many nice, non-pushy people with similar interests and since the crowd is a bit more mature (probably not the Venus parties) then there would be people of similar interests there. Now it may be of benefit of the party hosts to start earlier, say 6 or 7, so the activities can finish up earlier and I'm sure the hosts would entertain that if it was a common complaint. Apart from these types of parties and club scenes the only other way to meet people in a group setting are house parties, although keep in mind the Sinful hosts to things outside of the club but the crowd will usually still be the same people who attend the Sinful Club parties so are probably younger and okay with staying up late and partying, so probably not for the majority of people responding on this forum looking for an early-to-bed group. Let's talk about house parties. The ones we host sometimes have upwards of 60 or 70 people. These are people we have met before, for the most part, and we don't invite random people to these. We have an area to dance, music, but also areas that are quiet. The party starts around 7 and goes until... whenever. 6 am at times, but many leave before that. These aren't orgy parties and people don't show up expecting that. We also do game nights where we have 3-5 couples over for games, drinks, no dancing, hot tub, etc. Also people we know. We have been to many house parties as well and it is usually people we have met before. We are very leery of parties where there is some expectation to show up and fuck. We avoid these. Not our scene. But these house parties are out there. The doors close at 9, naked by 10, fucking by 1015. You are expected to fuck someone. Definitely not for us but definitely an okay and acceptable thing for others. Judgment is such an incredibly hypocritical thing in the lifestyle and I am astounded by how many people judge others. It is one thing to not enjoy a certain thing and to stay away from it, but it demean it, negate the validity of it and try to reduce the people who do it is completely asinine. My point is there is a variety, a full spectrum to every aspect of the lifestyle. From people looking only to make friends to people only looking to fuck. There is no right and wrong or black and white. We have so many good friends now that we feel super fortunate and blessed every day. But how did we meet those friends. Here is the key. Through hard work. Through dinner dates, clubs, social events, house parties and networking. Remember, this is my opinion, so please, readers, don't get offended. If you limit yourself to one avenue your success will be limited and you will have very few options in finding that fun couple that you click with. Many of our friends that we have met at a club typically like to be in bed at 10, or sometimes like to stay up late. Some of the people we have met in the most casual environment turn out to be crazy, fun party animals. I'm not saying if you don't attend the clubs you won't find what you are looking for especially since we have already determined that the club scene is so small. What I am saying is that if you are expecting a one-stop shop, or a fix-all, your success will be super limited. Your goal, I believe, is to meet as many people as possible and then sort through those you like and don't like until you are satisfied with your results. If you label the "club scene" as negative in your own mind, you might also be inadvertently labeling other fun activities and only reinforcing the confirmation bias you already have. Don't limit yourself to one way of finding friends, especially since it sounds like it isn't working that well for you now. We have found friends in every imaginable situation. Single dates, group dates, vacations, house parties and yes, clubs. I know our way works simply by the amount of amazing people that surround us and we call friends, and yes, some friends with benefits. Taking the time to start a topic is a good idea. The people on here all seem to have a similar interest and maybe some of you will take advantage of that, meet, and if things align, you make new friends. Maybe there is a need for a group to form that meets around 6 and finishes around 10 where only wine is served and only soft music is playing in the background. If so, take the initiative and form such a group. Create your own success. Maybe there needs to be a better way to post smaller events where only a few couples are going camping, coffee drinking, or similar. And maybe it is on Swingular and just not being utilized correctly. I'm sure with enough feedback the site could be fitted with such a feature. So don't despair. There are many, many people with similar interests and needs. You just have to find them. Each scene and venue has positives and negatives. Try to focus on the negative and utilize the resources that they are and you just might find your holy grail of FWB or what else it is you are looking for. Good job on the topic and hopefully that perfect couple is just around the corner. Mr. SRO...................................................................................................

Lifestyle RV Parks & Campgrounds - Does anyone know of RV parks and campgrounds for those in the lifestyle? - You are referring to Cherry Lane Nudist Resort in Michigan, it's a swingers community. It is not far from Detroit. There is another one not far from there called Northhaven, also a nudist resort that is swinger friendly and much nicer then Cherry Lane. :) Both are still open and are doing very well. Northhaven also sponsors the Miss Nude Northhaven Contest every summer.