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Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Posted By: TEQUILAROSE Reply posted on:
Jan 8, 2008 - 4:14 pm
If a single guy is at a party and you pack up and leave because you've got this preconceived notion that all single males are pigs and are just waiting for you to take a piss, so they can approach your wife, while you're away... I say this...
1) So what? Is your wife not capable of handling herself?
2) Are you not capable of saying, "Hey, Sorry man, we're not into single guys." I see that as no different that taking care of a couple you're not interested in.
Quite frankly, there are far more asshole, disrespectful men in couples that we've encountered, then the single variety.
I wouldn't pack up and leave just because there is a single guy there. Just like anything else, if I found that this club has single guys there and I don't like them, I can not go to that club and find another more to my liking.
Actually, yes. She is too nice to them. Then when I come back from taking a piss, I have to do the dirty job. She signs up for trial stuff and if she doesn't like it, it gets cancelled. Unfortunately, my job is to be the heavy. She, like many women the bouncers tell us about will tell the guys "not now. Maybe later.". Well, later comes along and so do they. However, because they didn't say "No thanx", if they bug her, the bouncer can't do much. That is why the club bouncers always ask the girls "Did you say no thanx" or "not now"? If it is the former, they will tell the guy off. If it is the latter, they will tell the girl "Next time, say NO. If he still bothers you, I will eject him."
Unfortunately, I am. Which is why I tend to get the dirty job. When the wife wants to return something, it too is my job. When she wants to buy something and the store is pretty dead, she feels sorry for the salesman and I have to go do the dirty work.
Actually, we have found the reverse to be true for us anyways. However, like I said before, even though they are more trouble, they bring things to the table that we are both interested in so the greater risk is worth it for us.
Swingers clubs are the new singles hangout? - - I think Swing Clubs are the Best Deal in Town for single women. Most places let them in for free or a small fee. They can dance, eat, drink and have all the Sex they want all night long. If they had the same deal for men with equal amounts of women present traffic cops would have to be hired for crowd control.
Bi-Sexuality - A question for the girls of swingular - [quote=CHEFFETTE][quote=EVILDOERS]So it's a BENCH of single males and what, a swarm of swingers? "Mayhem" sounds WAY more descriptive, by the way, from everything you've told me. [em]Emo_49[/em] [/quote]
For swinger men, it's a [i]pestilence[/i].[/quote]
Does that encompass the entire spectrum? Married and single? Or does one demographic embody that term? Just curious in case I want to be incensed...or even outraged! [em]Emo_25[/em]
Age differences - How do you handle it - We look to make some sort of a friendship with anyone we play with so we feel the best chance that would happen is if they were close to our ages but we have found many exceptions to that theory. We are just playing the odds that a connection is most commonly found with someone of similar ages.
The reason for this thread was because of conversation we were involved in at a party recently that we attended. People of all ages were there. I was sitting with a few older ladies, who I must say were very attractive, but then they started talking about all of their ailments and it almost makes me afraid that I might accidently hurt them if we played. I want to provide pleasure, not pain.
Also a few were saying they went to a big party and it was mostly younger couples who were dirty dancing and flirting but not really playing and they felt the younger swingers are not as sexual as the older people are. One rationalized it by saying that maybe the fear of pregnancy is the issue.
We try to be ourselves at all times and if we find common interests with a couple younger or older then us, great. Since we are somewhere in the middle we can go higher or lower then our ages. We would go higher then our ages first because of the experience and maturity factors hoping their experience will provide us some fun and share their knowledge with us. We wonder what those at either end of the spectrum think and what is their biggest concerns. Great input so far from everyone so thank you for that.
Joe and Lori
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - Rolling a 2009 freightliner century class s/t oh yeah and I get a whopping 51/2 miles to the gallon lol
Swinging and Children Don't Mix With Me, What about You? - Unforgettable experience - I have to say, having children and trying to meet with couples can be very hard on your lifestlye. Family always comes first in my book, but it doesn't seem like every parent thinks that, which is why I'm letting you know why they should start thinking about it.
We thought that maybe if we could meet with a couple that also have a child or has children, that we could have a better, lasting relationship and have other things to enjoy with these couples, besides just swinging. Well, one couple didn't work out with us and I don't know how to go about letting them know they were wrong in what happened.
I'm the only one that even seemed to get upset about the situation and I wanted to get others opionion to make sure I don't owe an opology to them. Here's what happened.....
Me and my husband met with a couple at a swingers club, which was off-premise, and we talked some and explained we had children and that we wanted to meet with couples, but it was hard with younsters and it was also hard to find a reliable and trusting babysitter to be able to enjoy the night out. They the told us they had a child and that if we wanted to talk more and get to know each other better, that we could come to their home for a dinner, with our kids. Now...we explained up front that we don't play seperate and we definitely did not play if we had our children with us. They said that it wouldn't be a problem, no hank-panky with kids around, because they too had a small one. This sounded really great to us, because we thought we found a good couple to be friends with and have some extra benefits too, if we wanted.
Well, things started out okay. We were greeted at the door by the family, and our kids was introduced to their child, and was showed some computer games and such to play. That gave us time to talk a little to the couple and was shown the outside of their home and such before dinner. After dinner is when everything went WRONG. First, I had to go to the bathroom. Well, while I was gone to the bathroom, the Mrs. decide to give my hubby a tour of the rest of the house, mainly the extra bedroom....and when I asked the hubby where my hubby was, he said.."Don't worry about them, they'll be okay for awhile"...well, that really ticked me off, especially knowing our children were now mixed up in this...and our oldest asking where his daddy went with that lady.....that was about the last straw for me....but I was in these peoples home, not mine, and I respect others homes, but in this situation, I was ready to leave, and without my other half....because he too knew our rules of playing.
Well, when the Mrs. and mine came back up, my other half knew I was mad, but for some strange reason, he felt like he had to still play around with her, and in the same room all the children were in!!!! Not to mention, she couldn't keep her hands off him, which was not making my situation of trying to calm down any easier.
When I finally got my hubby alone, I "very persistantly" told him me and the kids were leaving...NOW..and if he was smart he had better be out the front door before me or I would leave him there, and I truely meant it. I was so angry and hurt by all of the happenings around me, I thought that if this is what it's like to try and swing...FORGET IT...my nerves or marriage weren't going to stay together if this is what I had to look forward to everytime.
My hubby didn't get out the door before me..he was too busy kissing the Mrs good-bye....and I mean french-kissing..... but, thank Goodness I got the kids out the door before me....and that didn't help out any on his part, believe me. We stopped swinging for many years after that because of trust with one another and with other couples saying one thing and then doing another.
This particular couple apparently feels that nothing was wrong with what happened, and actually contacted us again after many, many, many years after this incident happened.
I'm not one either to "shun" anyone, but this expereince really bothered me then, and still does, and after them contacting us again, through an e-mail, not by phone, it makes me wonder about my feelings on the matter.
Am I wrong to feel this way, even after all these years? I do trust my husband NOW, after the bad expereinces, because there was one more after that, but it took alot of talking, yelling, and regaining a trust that is hard to achieve after something that drastic that involved your kids in the process.
I e-mailed them back, but I know it was short and blunt, nothing mean, I don't do things like that, but what if they try again to contact us...what do I say?
Any help/advice/opinions is appreciated.
Hope no one ever has to expereince something like this...most marriages would never have lasted unless you really had a great understanding with your mate, and we put ours to the test and passed.......barely.
Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - OMG! Just had a client walk in and notice my black tungsten wedding ring (I've had one for a couple of years now.) He told me that it I were to wear it on my right hand it would indicate I was gay. I told him I had heard that it indicated other things (didn't elaborate) and he assured me, and I guess he would know since he and his partner have been together over 20 years and finally were allowed to get married last winter, that it meant gay at...least among his friends and acquaintances. Maybe we swingers are too little too late to the party. Besides, Ms. Evil said she'd never wear anything that dark and colorless. Oh, and fwiw, when we first started swinging (back about the time Madame Curie was JUST starting to glow in the dark a little) the big thing was a necklace, or ring, or t-shirt, or even a tattoo of an apple with a bite out of it. Saw a few people wearing them at conventions/takeovers but never once have we ever seen anyone wear them in a vanilla public venue.
What do you like most about lifestyles? - - In theory, the lifestyle is perfect for us. We have never regretted starting this adventure and still believe that it is right for us. We have met some wonderful friends and have had many very erotic and fun experiences. Can you feel the "but" coming here. LOL. We are beginning to see the very things we came to the lifestyle to avoid popping up everywhere. Closed-mindness, judgment, and dishonesty are invading the ranks. It is our belief that the lifestyle is supposed to be about open-mindness, acceptance, freedom, and fun. Other words also come to mind like variety, new experiences, non-judgment, truth, love, and joy. BUT (there it is), not only are we judged by the "vanilla" world (and that is okay; we expected that), we are judged by our own. You are too fat, you are too old, you have tatoos, etc., etc. A couple actually told us that we were incompatible because I had tatoos. One on each arm- OMG! LOL. We realize that people have preferences, but come on, two tatoos? It is not like I am the illustrated man. My point is this: let's not judge each other when we don't even know each other, let's not create social classes within our lifestyle, and , for God's sake people. let's be honest with each other. If you are on a swingers site to get your rocks off by cyber-chatting, then disclose to others what you are doing and wanting. Don't tell people you are going to meet them when you have no intention of doing so. Don't act like you are a couple when you are a single male or a cheating husband. Most of us are doing this to meet good people and have good sex. Let us do that without having to wade through dishonesty and hypocrisy. Let's do what we came here for--HAVE FUN! We love the lifestyle and, for the most part, love the wonderful people we have met. Let's keep it going and not ruin it.
We Need Our Members Opinions!! - Please read and reply.... - 1.What was the determining factor to get you to buy a membership?
Definately the cost, it was a bargain fo rwhat was being offered.
2.What features were a big part of your decision?
The fact that it is dedicated (mostly) to Swingers.
3.Are there features you didn't know about until you discovered them later?
Not really, I had a pretty good idea as to what was on the site because the person that recommend it gave me a pretty comprehensive tour.
4.What do you think could have helped you make a quicker decision?
Nothing..
5.Do you have any ideas that could help entice more members to purchase a membership?
Maybe restrict full search capabilities to only members.
6.If you haven't made a purchase yet, why not
N/A
Vegas Club Party - Local Vegas Swingers club party - If your visiting or live in Las Vegas, you should check out New Temptations. Its modern, clean and most of all the crowd is super friendly.
Bunch of us are going to be there tonight and tomorrow, we hope to see others.
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