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Here's something Ive been curious about - - [quote=EVILDOERS]I think over the years we've pretty much seen and heard it all in regards to this subject and who is and isn't a "real" swinger. It kind of all boils down to semantics, doesn't it? Is it really that important to label it and each other? If swinging is a more of a mindset then yes, singles (male and female) are swingers too. I think, perhaps, that what some of the couples might be trying to get at (inelegantly IMO) is that in many ways perhaps singles don't really have as much invested in the process as couples do. As a swinging couple (remember it used to be called "wife swapping") you are in effect opening your relationship to some very real risk. If you don't think that's the case you either are in denial or haven't been around the scene that long. Singles simply aren't running the same risk although it could be argued they do have some risks, especially single females who at very least have some safety issues going into sometimes unknown situations alone. I guess you could argue single males also have a few risks as well. Also, of course, there is the whole argument of singles "not bringing anything to the table". An oft quoted argument to denote they don't have a partner to "swap". True enough in some regards but not entirely true in that they bring themselves and variety to the table for those couples not looking for a couples swap or who want to fulfill other fantasies or who have difficulty finding a fourway connection or attraction. Ultimately I think it's unnecessary for couples who don't want to play with singles (most often it's just single guys, a double standard perhaps?) to diss singles by saying they aren't swingers. And it's also probably not necessary for a few singles to complain that they aren't given an equal place at the table when they indeed do not come prepared to risk the same that couples must risk. Bottom line. Swing how you want to swing and don't swing how you don't want to swing. There's actually room for everyone even if we aren't all necessarily sitting at the same table.[/quote]Absolutely agree. Well said Mr Evil! BTW...Do you know if those X-Ray glasses really worked?? I always wondered...still do. I have particulair attraction to "landing strips"....They could be real handy sorting out potential play partners!
Skittles2469fun - Newbies - Welcome newbies. Like you, we were together more than a decade before we got into the lifestyle. We actually talked, fantasized and researched it for almost 2 years before taking the leap. One site we used that had great info is Swingers Board. We've loved it ever since. The main thing you need to do is be on the same page about what you want, what your rules and boundaries are and have fun. Go to parties. Browse profiles and contact those who interest you. Set no expectations for dates, we've found it usually doesn't go how you think it will (good and bad). Avoid anyone you get a sense of drama from. One thing we did from the beginning and do still to this day. After every party, club visit or date, we'd talk about it. What we liked, didn't like, etc. Did we mention have FUN!!!!!! Also, don't take rejection personally. It happens to pretty much everyone. Oh yeah, HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!
new to the scene - - Can you give more clarity on the type of advice you seek? This will help those that are sincere in their responses to give honest answers. There was a post not long ago about swingers and where to start. We will try to find and let you know about it and or put it on the front here when we find it.
Young swingers party - sold out, who still wants to party ? - Yes, They verify and many of us "Creepers" are barred from buying, so if sold out, it is sold out to younger types, not us "creepers". Which is frankly BS, my cutey is skinnier than most of the party attenders anyways, so why "creep" after bigger women, good luck with alternate parties. Frankly most of the bigger parties are a joke when it comes to actually playing, go to a smaller house party, where they actually play. Just my "creeper" thought.
Ways to point out Swingers in public - - HAHAHA Yeah, I wouldn't ever think it is a guarantee on any level. We always wonder when we see other women wearing them. But as you mention, it seems like A LOT of people wear them, so we would never approach someone based on that. :)
Hopefully at some point someone does approach us based on how i'm dressed, etc. But in our experience it means more for our playtime and fun than anyone else :)
Swingers of Color - - Just a quick comment on this..we have found that to be the same in Toronto(we have NY on our profile)but live just outside Toronto..most clubs we visit are 95% white.
xoxox
Jodi
Any Swingers out there? Golf swingers that is... - - So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas... well, its a great story and, well, I got that goin for me.
Somebody plan a round, I'm in!
stupid posts on topics that may make newbies change their minds! - - If Amy is addressing some rules of etiquette, in regards to forum posting, I think to immediately dismiss her is unfair.
I cannot seem to comprehend how someone posting something stupid, moronic or childish would have a negative affect on a new couple or individual's decision to look into swinging? I can understand how posting something stupid, moronic or childish might have a negative affect on how a couple or individual. with any level of experience, might feel about the poster. Perhaps, Amy is addressing how often we just go off topic? Is that not perhaps a valid complaint?
Amy, has a valid point, in that interrupting a conversation can be rude. If a poster opens up a thread, within these forums, that is pertinent to the swinging lifestyle, and a discussion begins, perhaps it is appropriate, to let the conversation evolve around the topic.
If a poster makes a statement, that anyone feels to be offensive, dangerous or inaccurate, and someone disagrees then voicing their opposition, is still subject relevant. Personally, if an original posture, opens up, or ventures into a discussion, that seems predatory or abusive, I see no reason to not at least ask for clarification, to make sure I am understanding correctly, what they are saying, or if it is quite clear what they are saying to voice my disagreement. The world ask us all to be far too agentic and compliant. Just because someone says something that involves sex, should not make it acceptable, if it is in violation of anyone's humanity. Amy mentions posting on topics that may have new swingers change their minds about swinging, and not just humor. New people investigating swinging, perhaps, should know that the level of intimacy, found in swinging, creates a certain additional level of risk. To dwell on it, to the point we trust no one may be counter productive. Perhaps, giving anyone with any sort of abusive and or unhealthy approach toward their fellow human beings too much time on the front page forums could lead anyone investigating the lifestyle to flee even more than stupid humor. We would rather laugh than to be marginalized and or abusively objectified.
Personally, I think some of the more ridiculous post, and questions, that were intended as a serious question, will die rather quickly if everyone adopted a subject relevant attitude toward contributing to the forum threads. But what about the post that are swinging lifestyle relevant, that are interesting, and that perhaps, especially for someone new, might be beneficial? Is it possible that to go off subject, so that those discussing the subject at hand, have to sift through all our off topic humor, might be rude?
Personally, I enjoy reading a lot of the playful nonsense, that ends up in the forums. Never-the-less, I have decided, that I will personally, try and avoid getting off topic, unless the original post was obviously written in such a manner that it seem to invite some level of ridiculousness or was obviously leading toward a more expansive discussion. If the original poster, seems happy to wander, even if the discussion wanders around a bit, even if it is a serious subject, I think I can feel safe to go off topic, and even then to be more careful. So Amy, if you are asking to be respected, I have decided to, think and rethink, before I submit anything off topic. Hopefully, I am on topic at present.
How to find other swingers - - This has been discussed before, however we never weighed in so it is new to us! LoL.
Over the years, we have seen a number of pendants and charms designed to identify swingers through out the internet. They ranged from the elaborately ornate, to the swap meet 10k gold overlay variety. I have yet to meet a "swinger" who owned one.
Luvbugs! (mR.) :)
Oh yeah, P.S.
If you really want to meet "swingers" I would suggest the internet. It sounds entirely too good to be true to me, but I have heard that there are MILLIONS of 'em on the internet.
Rumor has it that they congregate together in large online groups where they share pictures, stories, and sometimes...even get together for crazy group sex. I know, it sounds crazy...but I would look in to it if I were you. *wink* ;)
Clits, Dicks, Asses, and assorted body parts. - Parts are Parts. - Clits, Dicks, Asses, and assorted body parts.
This is not a dig to the BPP's (Body Part Posters) because I believe you should post what you want to as long at it's within the rules set forth by the administrator. If someone doesn't like them then they should scroll on to what's behind the next door.
Now that being said we are more the Playboy magazine types, not that we are Playboy material. We would look great on "John Deer" monthly or perhaps "This Old House" magazines but not Playboy.
That being said we are not "Hustler" magazine people either. Never cared for their close up shots of sex organs, cum shots, and still don't.
If we were interested in a couple and happed to see these type photos in a forum it would be a deal-breaker.
So kids the question is: :-)
Are there other up tight, former Baptist swingers in need of serious therapy?
Sign up list below: (If no one signs up we are canceling this account and moving to BUTTE MONTANA.
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