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That little nudge many of us need - - [quote=PARTYINLV]We think honesty is the best way to be. If she found out about the meeting without her knowledge, your tryst into the lifestyle may be over. Plus, she might feel the pressure to play at some point anyway. Also, she will always wonder if the next meeting is arranged without her knowledge.
Evildoers is correct in meeting with zero chance of playtime. Take their advice. She will feel more relaxed and could enjoy herself with the pressure off. We will take it a step further:
Step 1: Set up a date with ZERO playtime opportunity and let the other couple know that. Do something fun (a hike, Topgolf, etc) and get to know them. At the conclusion of the date, let them know that if they do not receive a message from YOU within 24 hours, you don't feel you are a match.
Step 2: If you send a message to meet again, let them know your intent and your boundaries. For example, (kissing ok), (fondling ok), (bi kissing ok), (same room, separate room, either room ok), (nudity ok or not). But, speak honestly with each other about this. It's not nice to lead people on after you have committed. At the conclusion of the date, let them know that if they do not receive a message from YOU within 24 hours, you are not ready to go further.
Step 3: If you send a message to meet again, let them know what is acceptable. For example (full swap or soft swap), (same room, separate rooms or either ok), (kissing or no kissing), (bi play) etc. Again, you will have to be honest with yourselves if you can do this. By a third date, the other couple has invested a lot of time in you. So, be nice and don't lead them on. Enjoy the playtime. Save enough time for the afterglow sex with them relaxing, chatting, and laughing.
By this point, you may have found a couple that you can see multiple times. Doing vanilla activities with them might be a bonus. They may even introduce you to their lifestyle friends too.
The other option is attending a house party where play is not expected. You will be able to speak to several couple and perhaps, use the process above. Or you can play that night.
When we entered the lifestyle, we never had that couple who could mentor us. After we considered ourselves as no longer newbies, we became the newbie "whisperers" to offer what we never had. However, we've gotten away from newbies since our circle is with experienced swingers now. But with covid, we would date newbies again.[/quote]
Sounds like an excellent plan to avoid those one and done awkward meet ups👍
How to find other swingers - - THE COLORED wristbands what a fantastic idea....
St. Louis - - Hey, we're new to the st louis are and are wondering where to meet other swingers. There don't seem to be any swing clubs. :(
Another way to identify swingers - Totally hot T-Shirts - Salesman make a commission. I just thought they were cute. Sorry if I offended anyone else.
Now that you're one of them there fancy swingers... - - Reading that, I don't like the direction this is liable to go already....
I REALLY mean a Danish GIRL! Honest! Outwitted..again...damn
Have you ever.... - - Thanks for the awesome stories! Glad to see so many good outcomes.. sad for the few not so wells... there is always a risk in New experiences even with those that deem themselves "swingers". :)
single male block - looking for single males but block them - Not to add Gas to the fire, but isn't the whole definition of swingers a "couple" that wants switch partners with another "Couple?"
I am a single Male and I even know that. Maybe swingers have evolved and maybe some have upgraded to a hybrid status and want to include a single Male or let the wife have fun on their own. I am under the impression that it doesnt happen to often.
I have read everyone's advice given to single guys and just trying to stay low, be cool and if someone likes me I am sure they will contact me.
But I am not using this site to just "hook up" for sex. Maybe thats your problem "boredinutah"
I seriously want to make friends, go bowling, kareoke, party night, and THEN if I get invited to "PLAY" that will just be the icing on the cake.
Swingers Vacation Spots - Help us - We really want to hit up Hedo.. I see everyone say nothing good about Hedo Plus anywhere that is clothing optional is a kick ass place to be!
Eastern WA and Northern ID Swingers Group - - The wife and I started a new group for all you Inland Northwest Swingers. If you live here or plan on visiting drop by the group and say hi.
Josh and Kitty
That Moment - - We have done that many times. We will sit at the Mall and watch people and ask each other are they swingers or not lol.
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