Petaluma Swingers in California

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This lifestyle - What are we really? - MORDON: Huh?? Wow...no easy task to consolidate concepts as broad and inclusive as swinging and/or polyamory into neat little boxes. I'm still trying to follow how you grouped the two into polar opposites. I'm not sure that the way you're defining either of those would be true for the majority of those in the swinging communities, and especially not Sirensextress or myself. If I have the ability to to love more than one person...then yes, I suppose I am polyamorous, but NOT in the same way that a couple who is truly polyamorous might view it (I do love not just one but all my children/siblings and whatnot). You've painted a rather bleak and harsh picture of us non-polyamorists, by boldly stating that swingers are, "friends with benefits....True swinging is having sex just for the sake of having sex. No talking ...no getting to know each other...not caring one iota about the other person. Basically have sex and if the other person dies on the way home ...who give gives a shit!" That statement is well, to put it bluntly, naive and uninformed. We've never engaged in sex without talking, or getting to know one another. How else would we know if there's any chemistry? We care greatly for most of the people we've encountered through swinging, and would most CERTAINLY care if they died on the way home! In short...we "give a shit"! I think in it's broadest sense, the term "swinging" is large enough to cater to the appetites of a wide spectrum of people, from those that are inclined to polyamory, to those that prefer to fuck 'em and leave 'em, to those that are the swinging wannabe's, to those that are exclusive. We are by no means polyamorous, but yes, we've run into couples that are in the truest sense of the word, poly. In fact, we've met couples that have wanted us to participate in the poly lifestyle. However, they are looking for something quite different that what we are looking for. Neither my wife nor myself are looking to be "married" to another couple, or to become a "secondary" husband/wife to them. Yet, being the "non-polyamorists" that we are, and according to your definition, we should be unable able to maintain very close friendships with any other swingers. Actually...our experiences have been quite the opposite. Most of our closest friends have come out of The Lifestyle. Do we love them? Yep. Have/are we sexually intimate with them? Yep. Are we romanticaly involved, exclusive and IN love with them? No. Do we love them like family? Yep. Are we polyamorous? No. Does this just boil down semantics? Yes..probably. However I felt compelled to speak on behalf of those of us that actually do care about the people that we meet through the lifestyle. Cuz we DO give a shit and we're NOT the cold-hearted people we've been made out to be! :)

Why we ORGY - Why we ORGY - [quote=SAMEROOMONLY][size=100]And now, a word from a noob... My wife and I have only been in the LS a few months, but I feel we have experienced quite a variety of experiences in that time, including house parties, LS clubs and basically an orgy party. We felt comfortable at all of them, but certainly the most pressure we have experienced came from the orgy-type party. It has been the only time when random men thought they could basically touch my wife, lift her skirt and ask to fuck her repeatedly, all without an invitation. We are pretty mellow and level-headed, so I think I did a pretty good job of turning them away without causing a scene, but had we been a little more sensitive I think it may have been a huge turnoff. So when I hear the word orgy, I think of a large party where basically everyone is there to just fuck, not socialize, and nobody really cares about who their dick is in or whose dick is in them. That is probably great for a lot of people, and I don't want this to sound flippant or elitist, but us as a couple we seem to have a higher standard than many swingers out there. In our short time we have already encountered non-clean people, irreverent people, very uneducated people, super creepy people and huge drama people. So to just show up at a party and hope that the plethora of couples we are playing with are clean, non-crazy and haven't been fucking everything from here to Texas, well... I just don't assume that to be true. Notice I didn't say much about looks. Yes, looks are important, but to us, we are looking for more just a hole and a pole. My point is, looks are secondary to many other things. And the only way to establish those "other" things, is to get to know the couple a little. Granted, we are super new to this and are moving slowly into the LS and we don't have that "notch on the belt" mentality yet, but so far, some of our best times have been getting to know the people, connecting, feeling that sexual energy between everyone, and then moving into the play room. We don't expect a couple to provide us any missing emotional support we are lacking in our marriage, as we have a great marriage. We also have a great sex life and this is just an adventure we are taking as a couple. It seems to me the orgy scene is more for people with open marriages, full swap different rooms, or people who otherwise don't care who their spouse if fucking. I trust my wife completely, but I don't trust others, and my need to protect her seems natural enough. Oh,maybe in a huge orgy you can both experience things together, but it does seem like you just jump in a pile and fuck whoever is in front of you. If not, then it is more a social, where you all talk first, enjoy each other's company, tell some jokes and get know the couple, then, if interested, you can all go fuck. So to me, that scenario is a social, not an orgy, which is the topic at hand. An orgy is more of a situation where you show up, who cares if you talk, drop your pants and start fucking. It seems more dangerous to me on an STD level as I don't imagine if you fuck 10 girls in a night you are changing condoms every time, or even wearing one, though I realize my assumption may be completely off, just giving you my opinion here as to why I wouldn't be AS interested in an orgy (it still would be fun to watch). Also, questions like "how many people have you fucked this week" and "do you wear protection" are much easier over a glass of bourbon than while sucking on a cock or pussy. Probably a little awkward. So... to finalize this huge monstrosity, different strokes for different folks. We like meeting new couples, we like to make new friends and we feel there is a greater reward with friends with benefits. Just as in our marriage where our sex is great because we know the other person so well, so we think playing with others may be enhanced by our understanding of the other couples needs and desires. Do we ever think it is fun just to meet somebody and play immediately? Probably. But do we think that our long term goals, our health and our mutual respect for each other is better served by meeting a couple, having the time to discuss how we feel about the couple in the privacy of our marriage and then moving forward as we both agree upon is the best way for us? Most definitely. And the small amount of wasted time we may experience trying to arrange meetings is a small price to pay for that piece of mind. We have made great friends, that if we never played with again, would still be our friends, so that is just icing on the cake. And maybe we have been lucky but we haven't experienced a lot of flakes, just a lot of busy, cool people with jobs and families, just like ourselves. So say we all!![/size][/quote] Another well said opinion that we completely agree with.

Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - Yeah it’s called unspoken. women getting free There are no rules men have to pay couples and singles. it’s downstairs in the basement There’s no music there it’s quiet inside so people can talk and mingle.

Mormonmomtok - Tiktok mormon swingers - Okay I have seen lots of swingers on tiktok but just now finding out about the mormonmomtok. What is going on there? Please share all the details especially if you know any involved!

ogden meet and great - - It seems having it in a "closed off" area just invites scrutiny. Look at habits, its not private but they had meet and greets there for years. You can have one at any bar, just a group of friends out for the evening and then if you do run into someone and they say "there are swingers here..." you just go really? where? lol

lifestyle club downtown slc... - - [quote=Naughty23]I’m lost pm me 😩😂 where is this singers ?[/quote]Typo for swingers 😂!

Newbie "outdoorsy" couple interested in the softer side. - Wish to develop a friendship with another couple in S ID, N UT - [quote=Canvas][quote=LILMISSRIDINGHOOD]There are couples and singles in the lifestyle, who have been in the lifestyle for a while, who also like to take things slow. Some don't want to just jump into bed, but they are aware of the many ins and outs of the lifestyle. I've been in the LS for years, but prefer to make friends, first, then decide if I want to go further if they, too, want to go further. If you want a friendship with no sexual strings attached, I suggest you look for others who feel the same. Narrowing your search down to just newbies, or suggesting that's what you're looking for, limits your options. You might consider meeting people with the precondition that you don't swap, but you may reconsider at a later date. [/quote] Thanks for your input. It is appreciated! Our thinking with looking for newbies was that we could all be nervous together and learn together. However, it's not like we know our way around these waters. All this has actually been very humbling to me (male half). I'm used to diving into things and doing well from the start. Here though.... it all feels so foreign, intimidating. Maybe it's due to my wife and I marrying right out of HS. We dated others in HS but that was so long ago with entirely different maturity levels. At any rate, your point is well taken. We welcome any advice and constructive criticism we can get. Thanks again! [/quote] What, specifically, feels intimidating? Or perhaps a better question would be what do you fear? Are you afraid that one of you will fall in love with a playmate and leave the marriage? Or that one or both of you will like swinging too much and become big ole sluts? LOL Or maybe you're afraid of contracting a horrific sexually transmitted disease and your junk will fall off? *grin* Most of us are TERRIBLY bad at risk assessment and more often than not we fear things that are statistically FAR less likely to happen than things we don't seem to fear all that much. Some people won't fly in planes even though they are FAR less likely to die in a plane crash than driving their car to Walmart. And many swingers are deathly afraid of getting AIDS even though it's really quite hard to contract compared to, say, HSV, which most adults have actually already been exposed to. Identifying why you're intimidated might be a better use of your time than trying to find a needle in a haystack. But in the end, do what you're comfortable doing. If you think finding another newbie couple is the least intimidating way to dip your toes in then, by all means, do that. Those of us who have been around the scene for a while, however, could tell you some of the drawbacks to meeting people who are newbies. Personally, we would seek out a more experienced couple, albeit one who is NOT pushy and is willing to go at your pace and is looking for friendship more than sex. The reason I say that is if things DO turn sexual, a more experienced couple is less likely to freak out or have other issues that they haven't already dealt with. Either way, good luck.

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - ULUV... nice way to prove your point...

International Swingers Day - How are you celebrating? - I think we are late to the party..

Fly-fishing Swingers - New Swingular Group - Being a bass fisherman, I like the idea of having a fishing partner like the one who was holding the 2 bass or the one that was standing in the water with the spinning outfit. Never had a fishing partner like that but then who would be fishing in the lake? Very short casts and to a very localized target.... then sinking the whole rod reel and all into the honey hole... Paul Elias ...style "kneeling and reeling" to get as deep as possible.... Love that bass fishing.