Swingular - Swingers

Swingers Forum - To Choke or NOT to Choke

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Just like the subject says. Do you like to choke or be choked during sex or not, and why?

Can somebody please enlighten us on what the appeal is about choking? To us it seems like disrespect. It seems like a Rape situation and all about control. We like mutual respect and being nice while having sex. Doesn't mean we can't be a bit dirty. but that is just our opinion.

Please explain your position, so we can all learn something. And if you are going to comment in this thread, it is NOT about bashing somebody else, or to see who is right. Everybody has different opinions and reasons, and we would like to hear them. We are not judging one way or another, just curious.
As an aside, please don't ever choke anyone unless you know and have done research on how to do it properly.

NEVER PUT PRESSURE ON THE FRONT OF THE THROAT, you can crush or tear someone's adam's apply or larynx.

Pressure should only be applies to the sides or back. Also, NEVER DO SO WITHOUT CONSENT, and going over medical issues and what the plan is for an emergency, in case they faint, etc.

This is risky edge play. Don't let someone else take your life or health into their hands without knowing how they will respect and treat you.
We don’t get it, we had someone do this to the Mrs and ended what could have been a great night. Needless to say we are non chokers 😀. We don’t understand the appeal either but there are so many different kinks/likes/dislikes in the lifestyle that there is someone for everyone and everything. Key is respect and consent.
I would say the appeal is twofold: first is the sense of domination/submission people get, as they relates to any BDSM activity. The second is purely physical. Asphyxia can lead to a sense of euphoria and give you a brief natural high, which can intensify orgasm. But, as mentioned above, this can be very dangerous, especially if you don't know what you're doing and should NEVER be done without the consent of a willing partner. If you do want to try it, read up on it first and make sure you know what to do if something goes wrong. Also, decide on safe words/gestures before hand, so you can stop quickly,if needed.

I'm personally hesitant to do it to others, because it can be risky. But have allowed others to do it to me, because it turned them on. And yes, the orgasms can feel intense.

Stay safe and have fun 🙂
My two cents: (male half). Never been to or thought about asphyxiation. Watched a show recently, that mentioned it. But personally could not do that. I would feel like a creeper. Not my style. If you are into that, I don't mean to offend you. Just not me. To each is own. 😁
Neither of us get the choking thing. It would be a definite game stopper for the mrs.
I couldn't do it to another person for pleasure. No interest either.
Thank you for all your replies. We love the honesty. We have read about the lack of oxygen thing and how it can create a euphoria. Just not sure why people need that to reach orgasm or extacy. But we are not into domination either (no judgement if you are. We just don’t understand the need for it.) Call us boring, but we have amazing sex without the domination.

And thank you for the comments about how to attempt choking, and about consent first. Communication is very important. And consent is a must.
Choke
Not into that at all! I like to breathe
hyfax1 wrote:

Thank you for all your replies. We love the honesty. We have read about the lack of oxygen thing and how it can create a euphoria. Just not sure why people need that to reach orgasm or extacy. But we are not into domination either (no judgement if you are. We just don’t understand the need for it.) Call us boring, but we have amazing sex without the domination.
And thank you for the comments about how to attempt choking, and about consent first. Communication is very important. And consent is a must.


Some people need a little le edge to get them off. If it is done properly at the right time, it will get me out of my head and back into the sensation. If it's not done properly, I just get annoyed.
Another more safe option is breath play. Simply cup the mouth and nose it’s a more controlled way to edge and there is no chance of permanent injury. We have tried it on occasion when we do the Dom-sub play and it’s pretty intense
I love having Dan do it right before I’m about to cum, when I’m on top riding him … it’s very intense, it creates a great rush, and I love the total control he has over me. But then we’re pretty kinky D/s anyway.

Yes we know what we’re doing, he doesn’t choke me into unconsciousness , so dispense with any advice.
It's pretty simple. Different people like different things. If a person likes to be choked they have a reason for it, whether it be a sub role, the lack of oxygen or some other thing. The same question could be asked of spanking, nipple play, biting, bondage or any other kink. All things need to be done with consent and with acceptance by both parties. You wouldn't just bend someone over and stick it in their butt without some conversation or communication prior. I mean, I know it happens as there are many neanderthals and disrespectful people or people who lack the social skills to figure out nuance, but it's all about consent mutual gratification. I think people who have been in the lifestyle for a bit are probably good at feeling out the situation. If you wanted to be choked I'm assuming you would ask or take the person's hand and put it around your neck. If you wanted to choke, you could ask or very gently put your hands around their neck and ask them if they like it. You can be gentle and polite and still navigate the situation fairly easily.
I don't like getting spanked. I understand it but it isn't my thing. I don't like getting choked, but happy to do it with the right person who enjoys it. If I can provide them with something they enjoy then whatever their reason is for wanting it may not be an issue. But as to the understanding of it, I'd say often it is because the person likes to be submissive and likes the feeling of being dominated. It adds to their suxual experience. They don't need it to have fun but it's an exciting thing to do sometimes. Why do some people like pistachio ice cream. I dunno, but if I had some and they wanted it, I'd give it to them. :)
M
This is the inherent issue, you're not actually choking, when you do it right. Choking is cutting off air supply. In a sexual situation, what you're trying to do is put pressure on the sides of the throat to restrict the carodid arteries. Doing this makes the person pass out within a few seconds. She "wakes" with nerves firing in hyper drive and the sensation of sex at that moment is almost overwhelming. It's still a vulnerability thing and should most certainly be discussed before, or be sure you're reading the room. We've never had a bad experience.
On the whole, it's not really a good idea even if "you know what you're doing". Lots of things you don't want to happen could potentially happen. Did you know that, among other things, the carotid arteries are prone to developing plaques and that those plaques can come loose during trauma (i.e. choking) and possibly cause a stroke?

I saw this happen once in the ER. The wife had a stroke and hubby, at first, didn't want to tell us what they were doing when she suddenly started slurring her speech and feeling weak on one side of her body.

Look, I totally 'get' the desire to sort of take sex to the next level sometimes and make it more exciting and a little bit dangerous, but there are some things that people do to try to enhance sex that can cause real harm. Play safe out there. YMMV
You definitely have to know what you’re doing and the person you’re with us to be able to trust you
My wife like to be lightly choked when she’s cumming. She enjoys it and I’ve learned the proper way with minimal pressure to give her the sensation she likes😉
Honestly, choking would probably make me go limp because I’d be too concerned about her safety.

I need to update my sexual practices policy to include: No choking (with emphasis)😬
Just like any other kink, desire, fetish, interest - totally a personal thing. And I would hope no one is navigating this lifestyle without CLEAR communication. Not only between you and your partner, but any potential friends, as well. That just goes without saying. Why would anyone just assume what anyone else is in to, or not?
I'm looking for a girl or couple to join me and my fwb. I was on swingular before.
Cinnamon09 wrote:

I'm looking for a girl or couple to join me and my fwb. I was on swingular before.


You must be hella thirsty posting on every forum topic.! Good luck finding what you’re so desperately seeking.