Swinger Glossary
New to the lifestyle? This glossary will help you understand the terminology commonly used in the swinging community. Knowing these terms will help you navigate conversations, profiles, and events with confidence.
Lifestyle
A common euphemism for swinging or the swinger community. When someone refers to being "in the lifestyle," they're talking about participating in swinging activities.
Vanilla
Refers to people who are not in the lifestyle or to conventional, non-swinging sexual activities.
ENM
Stands for Ethical Non-Monogamy, an umbrella term for any relationship structure where participants openly and honestly engage with multiple partners. Includes swinging, polyamory, and open relationships.
Polyamory
The practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships with the consent of all involved. Different from swinging in that emotional connections are often a primary focus.
Polycule
A network of interconnected non-monogamous relationships, often visualized like a molecule with each person being an atom and relationships forming the bonds.
Kitchen Table Poly
A polyamory style where all partners in a polycule are comfortable socializing together, like sitting around a kitchen table.
Parallel Poly
A polyamory style where partners don't necessarily interact with each other's other partners, maintaining separate relationships.
Full Swap
When couples exchange partners for full sexual intercourse.
Soft Swap
When couples exchange partners for sexual activities that may include oral sex but not intercourse.
Same Room
Couples who prefer to have sexual encounters in the same room as other couples, but only with their own partners.
Separate Room
Couples who are comfortable separating from their partners and going to different rooms with other people.
Unicorn
A single female who joins couples for threesomes or group activities. Called "unicorns" because they are considered rare and highly sought after.
Unicorn Hunting
When a couple specifically seeks out a single bisexual woman to join them for a threesome or relationship. Often viewed critically in polyamorous communities if the unicorn isn't given equal status in the relationship.
Dragon
A single male who is bisexual and joins couples for threesomes. The male equivalent of a unicorn, though less commonly used.
Bull
A single male, usually well-endowed, who joins couples specifically at their request, often in a hotwife or cuckold scenario.
Stag
A male partner who enjoys watching his female partner with other men but without the humiliation aspect found in cuckolding. Often takes a more dominant or directing role.
Vixen
The female partner in a stag/vixen dynamic who enjoys having sex with other men while her partner watches or participates.
Hotwife
A married woman who has sexual relationships with other men, with her husband's knowledge and encouragement.
Cuckold
A relationship dynamic where a man derives pleasure from watching his female partner have sex with other men, often involving elements of humiliation or submission.
Compersion
The feeling of joy experienced when a partner takes pleasure from another relationship. Often described as the opposite of jealousy.
NRE
New Relationship Energy - the intense excitement and energy experienced at the beginning of a new relationship. Important to recognize in non-monogamous relationships to maintain balance with existing partners.
MFM
A threesome consisting of two males and one female.
FMF
A threesome consisting of two females and one male.
MFMF
An encounter involving two males and two females, typically two couples.
Play
A euphemism for sexual activity in the lifestyle. "Play partners" are people who engage in sexual activities together.
Lifestyle Club
A venue specifically for swingers to meet and potentially engage in sexual activities.
On-Premise
A club or event where sexual activity is permitted on site.
Off-Premise
A club or event where people can meet and socialize, but sexual activity is not permitted on site.
House Party
A private swinger gathering held at someone's home.
Lifestyle Resort
A vacation resort that caters to swingers, often with clothing-optional areas and events designed for lifestyle participants.
Bi-Curious
Someone who is interested in exploring sexual activities with the same sex but has limited or no experience.
Bi-Comfortable
Someone who is comfortable being around same-sex activities but may not participate.
Bi-Friendly
Open to or supportive of bisexual activities, even if not participating.
Voyeur
Someone who derives pleasure from watching others engage in sexual activities.
Exhibitionist
Someone who enjoys being watched by others while engaging in sexual activities.
Relationship Anarchy
A philosophy that rejects traditional relationship hierarchies and rules, allowing each relationship to develop on its own terms without predetermined expectations.
Primary/Secondary
Terms used in polyamorous relationships to describe different levels of commitment or entanglement. A primary relationship might involve cohabitation, shared finances, or marriage, while secondary relationships might have fewer entanglements.
Metamour
Your partner's other partner. For example, your husband's girlfriend would be your metamour.
Triad
A polyamorous relationship involving three people who are all romantically and/or sexually involved with each other.
Quad
A relationship structure involving four people, often formed when two couples connect romantically and/or sexually.
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