Communication Language
Helpful language for discussing boundaries, desires, and experiences.
In short
Clear communication language prevents misunderstandings in the lifestyle: a hard limit is non-negotiable while a soft limit is something you might consider, a safeword stops everything immediately, enthusiastic consent is an active "yes" rather than the absence of "no," and "I" statements express feelings without blame.
Key takeaways
- •Clear language prevents misunderstandings
- •"I" statements express your feelings without blame
- •Asking for clarification is always appropriate
- •Consent language is essential
Expressing Boundaries
Hard Limit
Something that is absolutely off-limits, non-negotiable. "That's a hard limit for me."
Soft Limit
Something you're hesitant about but might consider under certain circumstances. "That's a soft limit-I'd need to think about it."
Safeword
A predetermined word or signal that means stop everything immediately. Always respected without question.
Consent Language
Enthusiastic Consent
Consent that is clearly and enthusiastically given. Not just the absence of "no" but an active, excited "yes."
"Can I..."
Always ask before any escalation. "Can I kiss you?" "Can I touch you here?"
"I need to check in..."
A way to pause and ensure everyone is still comfortable. "I need to check in with my partner."
I-Statements
Use "I" statements to express feelings without blame:
"You made me feel jealous."
"I felt jealous when..."
"You never pay attention to me."
"I felt overlooked when..."
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