Common Lifestyle Terms
Essential vocabulary for understanding and participating in the lifestyle community.
In short
Common lifestyle terms describe relationship styles (swinging, ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, open relationships), activities (soft swap, full swap, same room, voyeurism), and dynamics (unicorn, bull, hotwife, stag and vixen, cuckold). Understanding this vocabulary helps you communicate clearly, and when in doubt it is always fine to ask for clarification.
Key takeaways
- •Understanding terms helps you communicate effectively
- •Terminology varies by region and community
- •When in doubt, ask for clarification
- •Language evolves-stay curious
Relationship Styles
Swinging
Consensual recreational sexual activity with others, typically as a couple. Focus is usually on physical experiences rather than emotional connections.
ENM (Ethical Non-Monogamy)
An umbrella term for relationship styles that allow for multiple partners with everyone's knowledge and consent.
Polyamory
Having multiple loving relationships simultaneously with full knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
Open Relationship
A relationship where partners agree that each can have other sexual or romantic partners.
Activity Terms
Soft Swap
Sexual activity with others that stops short of intercourse. Typically includes oral sex and touching.
Full Swap
Sexual activity including intercourse with other partners.
Same Room
Play that happens with both partners in the same physical space.
Separate Room
Partners may play in different rooms or spaces.
Voyeurism/Exhibitionism
Watching others (voyeurism) or being watched (exhibitionism) during intimate activities.
People & Dynamics
Unicorn
A single bisexual person (usually a woman) willing to join couples. Called "unicorn" because they're rare and sought-after.
Bull
A single man who joins couples for play, often in hotwife or cuckold dynamics. May take a dominant role.
Hotwife
A dynamic where the wife plays with other men (often called bulls) while the husband is aware and supportive. Husband may watch, be present, or simply know about it.
Stag & Vixen
Similar to hotwife, but without any humiliation element. The "stag" (husband) takes pride in his "vixen" (wife) playing with others.
Cuckold
A dynamic where the husband enjoys his wife playing with other men, often with an element of humiliation or submission as part of the kink.
Threesome Configurations
MFF / FMF
Male-Female-Female threesome. MFF suggests the women interact with each other; FMF suggests focus is on the male.
MFM / MMF
Male-Female-Male threesome. MFM suggests the men don't interact with each other; MMF suggests they may.
Devil's Threesome
Slang for MFM/MMF threesome. Despite the name, many couples love this dynamic.
For a comprehensive list of lifestyle terminology, visit our full Swinger Glossary.
Related resources
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