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sluts? what? - how so? - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET][quote=SHADOWINGWHISPERS][quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]There is a book called "The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities" written by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy that defines Slut in a positive light. They might be using slut in that context. The book has been very popular with swingers for quite a few years. [/quote]
I would hope they are using it in that sense.. but words that compile around the slut term make it strongly seem like it's a negative term.. sadly..[/quote]
If they are using it in a derogatory sense it may be because they are experiencing a certain level of self loathing because they are struggling to accept their own sexual nature or they may have peers and family that would do their best to destroy them were they to live so free as you are. I think that the anger that leads to name calling and judgment sometimes is a secondary emotion that people choose to embrace because the primary emotion is much more painful. They may want what you have but lack the confidence or courage to go find it for themselves and so the same people that call someone a slut in the derogatory sense far too often are the same people that go off and struggle with their own sexuality in dark places through lying, cheating, abuse and even darker acts while swimming in a sea of self loathing.
We should all jump up and down and be happy that you are free or striving to become free of such shackles![/quote]
That makes sense.. I hope everyone can undo the shackles!! Great understanding..
Anything but Habits?! - Chill Hangouts? - Thanks guys! Next time you guys do a Meet and Greet there we'll have to come for sure! Sounds like a fun place! Do lots of swingers go there on a normal basis? Does anyone know about Metro Bar on Friday nights? I heard that could be lots of fun too?!
Vegas: Swingers circle or couples oasis? - Which do I prefer - CBUTAH;when you find the answer to your own question, please post your impressions because we will be there in May and would like to know the answer..
Sexy cashier needed in Utah - Black Velvet is now looking to hire. - Hi most all the girls that replied , had the same ? how About discounts, if we work there, I would like to let any swingers that are new or have not herd...... 20% DISCOUNT TO ALL SWINGERS THAT BELONG TO SWINGULAR !!!!!!! is my way of saying thanks for being here on this site... walt p.s. still looking for someone to work here thanks love all walt...:z
Just curious are we the only ones? - Just curious are we the only ones? - [quote=UNICORN73]Black rings? Really?? Soooo how well known is this fact? I would really like something that's discreet but yeah...says I'm in. But if they are vanilla...I don't want them to know at all! Am I gonna out myself to the world if I get a ring??[/quote]
The idea of the black ring has been around for a long time. As early as the 60's by some accounts. However it is not generally well known. As such it's very uncommon to see anyone wearing them in public. Mrs. DandD and I have only seen one other couple wearing them and we have only had one other couple notice ours that we know of.
It's also important to to note that black rings carry different meanings depending on who is wearing them. Members of the of homosexual community have been known to wear them on the right hand ring finger to indicate marriage when living where marriage was not legal for them. Members of the [url=http://www.asexuality.org/home/]AVEN[/url] community wear them on the middle finger of the right hand to identify each other. Finally swingers wear them on the right hand but not on the middle finger generally out of respect for and, I'm guessing, to avoid being confused as member of the AVEN community.
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A fine line. - - Trying to stick to the OP intent here.
[quote=CARRIERMANANDGEEKGIRL][quote=EVILDOERS] we often find it difficult to walk the fine line between being nice, polite, and social with other people when we do not actually feel an attraction to them. If we had a week at desires it would be easier to be nice and talk with everyone. However adult hours are not easy to come by so we do find this line hard. My wife will talk with a friendly person or couple the whole night. Even if the couple is in some committed deal. I have been working
on getting her to direct her time on couples she can see us doing something mor. Or limit the time she spends and move along.
Do you at some point just say honestly that while they are nice it just ain't gonna happen?
We only feel this is needed it they ask us if we want to get a room. At that time you just have to say something and it is never easy.
Do you make some sort of lame excuse and beat a hasty retreat hoping they will get the hint? Do you move on to another couple that you are attracted to and look annoyed when the first couple follows you around all night. Of course some people just won't take a hint or take "no" for an answer and for those you DO have to be blunt.
This is one method that does seem to work. It is easier if you do it early on in the timeline like the first 5 mins or less.
So what techniques do y'all use in situations like this? How do you be nice to others without necessarily encouraging them?
[b]Seriously? I mean, you don't know how to interact with others and carry on a conversation without having them believe you want to hop in the sack with them?[/b]
Its not that easy.. How do you walk over to a couple and start to talk to them at a swingers party and not have them think you want the Mor?
BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - Tell them that your sex life is none of their business and keep rolling.
Disabled Swingers - - The opportunity for me to play with someone who has a physical handicap/disability has never presented itself.
And I've never even given it much thought, one way or the other.
But I see absolutely NO reason why it would enter into my decision on whether or not to play.
There but for the grace of God go I.
First time? - - Well said by doers...I think its normal for different approaches to this as well. We've been members on here for quite sometime now, but we really havent done anything in this while...I guess we wouldn't call ourselves "swingers" either but we do enjoy going to the occasional party/event from time to time and catching up with old friends...both of you need that communication as one maybe "ready" whereas the other may not be...that being said...the one that feels "ready" should never be pushy...just take it slow...have fun..and in time, things will happen ;)
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