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Friend collectors or swingers - - My opinion, which hasn't changed in ages, is this, and I'm not chastising anyone, just offering my 2 cents.
One of the recurring and biggest problem that swingers face is that they decide what they personally like, or want, and then assume everyone else should choose the same path or they don't understand why how everyone else doesn't feel the same way they do. I've read the forum posts for years and the same questions recirculate on a regular basis. "Why don't people want to be the type of swingers we are?" "We don't want friends, we just want to have sex." "We don't necessarily want to have sex until we are friends." "We really only want friends but rarely play." All valid forms of the lifestyle and perfectly acceptable to different people.
The lifestyle can take work. It typically isn't easy and will take some time and effort to achieve your lifestyle goals. Sure it's helpful to post your desires in your profile but I'm sure people read those only rarely, or maybe they are drunk searching, or maybe they can't read. :) There are all types. Try not to get frustrated because someone else isn't following you lead. Be patient. Within one or two convos you should be expressing your goals and figuring out the goals of the people you are trying to get to know. Get a system that weeds out the people you are't interested in, something that works for you. You will get better with time and hopefully someday what you are looking for will be much easier to find.
However, until then, realize life isn't black and white, nor is swinging. There are as many varieties of swingers as there are ice cream flavors, or flavored condoms. haha. Don't expect others to want the same thing as you but certainly look for those that do. Be patient, kind and realize everyone is possibly looking for a different scenario than you. Some people love to send blind requests, some hate it. Right or wrong, it's life. Accept that there is mound of bullshit between you and that perfect couple/single male/female/trans/group/poly/donkey/toys only/DTF.... (Well, you get the point we are all looking for something different)that you are looking for.
So don't be frustrated. Accept it will be a challenge and work on better ways to make your life easier. There won't be a good answer only many shades of grey.
"Don't try to bend the spoon, for that is impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth... there is no spoon. Then you will see it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself."
And to the single males that post ridiculous stuff? WTF? Ugh. You make us all look like mentally disabled Neanderthals.
"Me have dick. Me like pussy. Stick it good."
Sturgis 2009 - - When and where is the Testy Festy... have heard about it but not too sure what it is, but have heard swingers have a way of letting others know they swing. We will also be heading back through Helene on our way home....
What is is with local couples? - Anyone else seem to have the problem with couples local to where you live NOT wanting to meet? - Common decency...What is that? Ignoring someone's email seems to be the way to NOT say they are not interested...Seems plain old rude...especially when there is an easy no thanks email already written for you on here...
Anyway...If you ever get to FL SWMTCPL...We would not ignore you ;)
Also...he thinks there are a lot of "fantasy swingers" on these sites...they are all about the fantasy...BUT when it comes down to it...they are not ready or willing to do anything...Rather than say so, they ignore you...Just HIS opinion
Posers? - Are they really a couple or are they single? - OK...
Seems like people are attacking the men for being "swingers" when their wives are not involved...How many times have you finally located that ever elusive bi-female and clicked her profile only to find that she is a couple too? Hmmmmm....No one is bitching about that...Double standards abound in life....Because there is an amazing number os men who are "swingers" and the supply far exceeds the demand, they are _______ (insert whatever you wanna call them)...but when a woman does it, it is OK?
Just his 2 cents...you can give me the change later...HA HA HA HA HA HA
seniors - why is it so difficult to find senior swingers or single ladies? - all i can say is WOW
Habits + Candi - Missed connection with couple at Habits months back - Checked out Habits on a whim and met Candi. I found out later it was a swingers place and this led me to check out swingular. If you remember a tall, young, dark hair, and handsome guy dancing with you on the dance floor hit me up. I would like to reconnect. You were wearing a short skirt and enjoyed flashing everyone.
Safe Sex - How do you (or don't you) protect yourselves? - We now have the rule that we always use condoms. And we are still shopping around for the best ones that work for hubby. He would prefer not having to use them but not enough that he is going to stop. (Side Note: red condoms can have a BAD visual connotation for some guys)
I admit that when we started out we didn\'t use them the first couple of times we played. We then discovered that the first couple we played with doesn\'t use them at all. They had some of the same arguments I\'ve seen posted here. The fact that STD\'s can be transmitted via oral sex, condoms don\'t feel right, etc. I can see those points. But then we found out that they don\'t get tested at all and he picks up random chicks while traveling (with wife\'s knowledge and permision) I think that is the point that makes me the most uncomfortable. Most of the swingers we have met so far are very aware of STD\'s and take some precautions such as getting tested, condoms, etc. But I have seen the statistics on STD\'s in single sexually active people and it\'s like 1 in 4 and most don\'t know they are infected. So he is playing russian roulette in my opinion. We didn\'t know all this before we played with them.
So I guess the moral of the story is to talk with potential partners and ask questions!! For us newbies, it may be awkward and feel like you are being crass, nosy, or killing the spark, but the other couple should be willing to at least discuss it or maybe they aren\'t right for you!!
Carrie V.
Moab Utah - Swingers in Moab - [quote=Utahldscouple]We are game for booking a LS group trip![/quote]
We'd be interested in a trip to Moab.
Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]
A lot of people secretly wish they could self liberate sexually and socially enough to do some of the things "swingers" do. If they know enough about the Utah swing scene to know why we are wearing a black ring on our right hands then there is a pretty good chance they envy our liberation maybe just a little.
[/quote]
I would not be surprised! :)
[quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]
I recently had a very LDS middle aged friend who knows we swing tell me when he grows up he wants to be me. We don't flaunt it before our vanilla friends and we are not trying to be spokes persons for swinging but we are really not ashamed of it.
[/quote]
Out of curiosity, do you consider wearing black rings all the time flaunting it?
swingers helper... - I know some of us need this every now and again... - How is this?
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