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BDSM and Swingers? - Where does BDSM fit in the swingers' world... your thoughts and experiences? - Our experience (almost 30 years in the lifestyle) is that the kink community and the swinging community don't mesh all that well. Sure there are some swingers who are into BDSM but by far most people who practice BDSM aren't swingers and more than a few actually look down on swingers (funny, if you think about it) for having consensual sex with multiple partners (with or without whips and chains).
We've dabbled in very light BDSM a time or two and found that it DEFINITELY isn't our thing and other than maybe a little spank on the ass during doggy style sex it isn't the thing for about 99.9% of the swingers we've met.
But look around a bit and you'll find a few swingers who like to play act BDSM on occasion and perhaps even a few who actually practice it as a lifestyle along with their swinging.
Vanilla Party pickups - Vanilla Party pickups - I doubt it, unless they are already in the lifestyle and attending as vanilla. I have known people that were not in the lifestyle do it with someone that they have known for a while but you would not consider and they do not consider themselves swingers. So maybe it is possible. If it happens to you let the rest of us know.
Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - We are new to this site. Just came over from SLS so I assume we are interested just a bit lost on
This lifestyle - What are we really? - MORDON: Huh??
Wow...no easy task to consolidate concepts as broad and inclusive as swinging and/or polyamory into neat little boxes. I'm still trying to follow how you grouped the two into polar opposites.
I'm not sure that the way you're defining either of those would be true for the majority of those in the swinging communities, and especially not Sirensextress or myself.
If I have the ability to to love more than one person...then yes, I suppose I am polyamorous, but NOT in the same way that a couple who is truly polyamorous might view it (I do love not just one but all my children/siblings and whatnot).
You've painted a rather bleak and harsh picture of us non-polyamorists, by boldly stating that swingers are, "friends with benefits....True swinging is having sex just for the sake of having sex. No talking ...no getting to know each other...not caring one iota about the other person. Basically have sex and if the other person dies on the way home ...who give gives a shit!"
That statement is well, to put it bluntly, naive and uninformed.
We've never engaged in sex without talking, or getting to know one another. How else would we know if there's any chemistry?
We care greatly for most of the people we've encountered through swinging, and would most CERTAINLY care if they died on the way home!
In short...we "give a shit"!
I think in it's broadest sense, the term "swinging" is large enough to cater to the appetites of a wide spectrum of people, from those that are inclined to polyamory, to those that prefer to fuck 'em and leave 'em, to those that are the swinging wannabe's, to those that are exclusive.
We are by no means polyamorous, but yes, we've run into couples that are in the truest sense of the word, poly. In fact, we've met couples that have wanted us to participate in the poly lifestyle. However, they are looking for something quite different that what we are looking for.
Neither my wife nor myself are looking to be "married" to another couple, or to become a "secondary" husband/wife to them. Yet, being the "non-polyamorists" that we are, and according to your definition, we should be unable able to maintain very close friendships with any other swingers.
Actually...our experiences have been quite the opposite.
Most of our closest friends have come out of The Lifestyle.
Do we love them? Yep.
Have/are we sexually intimate with them? Yep.
Are we romanticaly involved, exclusive and IN love with them? No.
Do we love them like family? Yep.
Are we polyamorous? No.
Does this just boil down semantics? Yes..probably. However I felt compelled to speak on behalf of those of us that actually do care about the people that we meet through the lifestyle. Cuz we DO give a shit and we're NOT the cold-hearted people we've been made out to be!
:)
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - 1965 Marlin, Rambler: It looks like its going 100 mph just sitting there, But lucky to make 80 for real. 1962 Lark Daytona Studebaker.....1949 CJ-2A, Flat Fender Jeep, All Stainless Steel, 327 Chev, Turbo 400 Trans 1996 "Fat Boy"
Log in Issue - I am not a robot - Damned quizzes are getting harder and harder. They're really stressin' me out! Do you have to get 100% right to be able to log in or is Swingular grading on the curve at all? I guess if nothing else it keeps all us nasty swingers from drunk logging in and drunk thread posting and/or booty calling. [em]Emo_84[/em]
On second thought maybe this is some sort of subtle IQ test to keep any complete morons from hooking up. [em]Emo_12[/em]
Hot discussion - Hook up section? - Yup. It's actually gotten so bad that Ms. Evil and I have, for the first time in our long swinging career, blocked single males. We naively thought that maybe the number of single guys would start going down a little since we've heard so much about so-called "hook-up culture" and how it's supposedly relatively easy to jump on Tinder or Kik or to hit a bar or club and pick someone up for NSA sex. So can we assume that it's simply an urban legend? Either that or the single dudes here aren't having any success IRL for some reason?
And I apologize, JEFFSMITH1972, for all the terrible things married people have done to you and your "hotty" friend. Thoughts and prayers! [em]Emo_82[/em] Though I kinda have to wonder why you would hang out on a swingsite if you don't like married swingers. If the married swingers left Swingular would it still be a swingsite? [em]Emo_67[/em]
The Black Ring - How to spot a swinger - LOL We've been doing this for a LONG time and it cracks us the fuck up to see these frequent "ways to tell if someone is a swinger". We've heard everything from a white rock in their front yard to an upside down pineapple in their grocery cart. Even stuff like wearing an ankle bracelet on a particular ankle or a single earring in a particular ear. Bottom line is, in this world of almost instantaneous and pervasive communication even if there WAS a ubiquitous symbol of swinging acceptance almost nobody would display it as they would quickly be outed to people they might not want to know about their little hobby. We've gone to conventions and hotel takeovers many times in the past and it usually took about a day for any vanillas nearby to learn what the wristbands mean and start gawking (or even trying to sneak in) and for the swingers to start hiding them under watches and bracelets or removing them entirely so as not to be identified. Another swingsite we're on even started a new smartphone app using GPS that alerts you if there is another swinger nearby. Almost nobody uses it in fear of somehow being ID'd as a swinger.
Pineapples and black rings and flamingos, oh my! - - [quote=Wearereal]I want a mask like that[/quote]
Sorry, but I'm afraid that they're ONLY available to hardcore swingers who can provide proof (notarized!) of their utter debauchery and pervertedness. If you're willing to be vetted, HARD, you may qualify to wear one of these handy sex magnets in public. ;-)
Are you more or less tolerant? - - We are probably the same as before we became swingers.. U have to be atractive, but we have learned douchiness comes in all shapes and sizes
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