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What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - [quote=Loverofthewife]The biggest surprise for me has been how fun and friendly people in the LS generally are. We don’t play much as a couple in the Utah scene, but we have had great experiences at resorts. When I met a swinger couple for the first time at a resort, I was scared that all of the swingers in the group were going to jump me. I didn’t make eye contact, replied to their questions with short answers, and just generally avoided any conversations because I was afraid they would seduce me. 😁 Now, a few years later, it’s easy to spot the newbies. They don’t make eye contact, avoid conversation, etc. I want to just straight up tell them—I’m not going to rape you! I am just being friendly, lol! Another surprise to me was how women-lead the LS is. Most couples that we have met say they follow the lead of the woman. She chooses the who and the when.[/quote] THIS - we had no expectations, so we have not been disappointed. We did have a few ‘trainwrecks’ along the way - learning ‘the ropes’, mostly because Mr Sweet didn’t do his homework. We’ve been surprised by how much we crave more and better relationships. This LS has exceeded anything we even fantasized about. Uber cool people - cherished friendships, just not enough time to meet so many great people ... or get naked with them (grin).

Poly-Swingers - Moving beyond FWB relationship - May I recommend a wonderful book? The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures. Written by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy. I found this book very positive, helpful and informative. A wonderful guide to that "evolution" you are referring to. Best of luck!

who's spouse do you want to fuck - - Well Damn! We get busy and don't spend as much time in chat and now no one wants to sleep with us anymore. :( LOL j/k I can tell you if we were in UTAH we would be having a parties with all you hoties. Cant wait to finally get up there so we can play! I personally would love to run my fingers through TG hair while ravishing his body. MMMMMMM and that Siren. The things we would do. Lest we not forget other UT hoties Irish, UTHOTCPLEX, bigDlilT, Fun4u2 our CO swingers like capt/ally, hunt, and on and on and on. I like the blind fold game sounds like fun! S&B

Swingers Next Door! - ABC news story on Swinging! - DE2OFUS, This article is about the A&E show. There is nothing on ABC.

Any swingers advise for Spain? - Swing clubs in Madrid - And believe it or not, if some clown gives a girl a hard time, over ANYTHING, she can call the cops and the cops WILL deal with the jerk. In some places, like Amsterdam, the police even have the authority to ban someone from the red light district on pain of instant arrest, and they do do it. Only in places where it's illegal do there seem to be all the problems, crime, drugs, disease, that we have associated with it here in most of the U.S. Like I said, different laws, different social attitudes. ~ Terry

Swinger & 🦄 Bait - An experiment to attract swingers and unicorns. - Unicorns are so fun

Mormons - - the2ovus: My response to the mormon question has always been "yes, but I've never been very good at it" Both hubby and I grew up in lds homes, did what the parents wanted us too - then woke up one day as adults and realized we could actually choose for ourselves what made us happy. I don't think it's a fair judgement (then again is any judgement fair?) to look down upon Mormons who are practicing their religion and practicing in the lifestyle. Maybe they aren't very good at either one just yet! My vote is to encourage them to look within and find out what brings them true inner peace and go with it, no matter the path they choose. I've never made the connection between the couples that chat till your fingers fall off and never meet to Mormons. I think there are a LOT of scared folks.... just wish I could tell them apart! Funny thing to me is that no-one ever asks if the couples that are down south are bible bashing baptists and swingers too, just due to their location. Why is it Mormons end up looking like hypocrites when religion is in debate? *can you tell there are some Mormons in my life I love and will defend with my life?*

KSL swing story - - For those of you guys out of town. This is the transcript from the KSL website. "Everyone has shared their partners with everyone else in the room." "You're in happy valley and you think nothing like that could happen." An Eyewitness News Investigation takes us inside a delicate subject few people like to talk about -- infidelity, couples cheating, in secret, in the open, and joining a movement that appears to be gaining momentum. We heard persistent rumors that spouse-swapping and adultery is commonplace in certain suburban neighborhoods. We discovered those rumors were based on at least some truth. People told us they were being recruited -- marriage counselors say they are seeing more if it. There aren't statistics or easy answers, but it's clear the effects can be devastating. Love, commitment, holy matrimony. In Utah, where marriage vows and family values run deep. Woman: "They said it was more exciting when their spouse was involved." This story will open eyes to something many would like to keep secret. "It was taboo within their religious background." "I thought, this can't be happening here. This is Utah." Sometimes it's kept very quiet, among neighbors and friends. Other times, it's out in the open. Studies show infidelity is to blame for more than half of divorces in Utah. What we found surprised even experts. We knocked on doors, attended a party. We heard stories by phone, by email, but nothing could match what we heard in a pocket of Draper. "Something was wrong with every other neighbor in that neighborhood." Her husband's indiscretions shattered their marriage. "Intensely, intensely painful. It's the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life." The divorce final, he remarried one of their neighbors within a week. It seems adultery ran rampant. Up the block it was consensual with other married neighbors cheating together. People told us they moved to get away from it and stayed inside to avoid it. Across town one woman told us she just wanted to run from it: "Everyone in the room had shared their partners with everyone else in the room. These people had been married five, 10, 20 years." She and her husband were invited to a barbeque with couples from Draper, Provo, Sandy and Salt Lake. A doctor made a move. "He's hitting on me, like he's single, and his wife's sitting right there. I think, there's another motive to this party and it's not just to hang out and meet new people." They got out of there. While there's no data, experts say it's proof of a trend. Vicky Burgess/Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist: "I think, because sexual relations and sex itself is more open, I think we're seeing more of it." We found there are several parties where couples can meet. Randy Chatelain, Ph.D./ Marriage and Family Therapist: "I believe this kind of behavior is going to catch up with a couple, because where does it stop? What more do you have to involve to create the high?" Hundreds of couples pack a popular Sandy nightclub. "A lot of people nowadays have fantasies and they want to fulfill them with their significant other. This is the best way to do that." This man, who asked not to be identified, built a business, helping couples meet at parties. His website suggests spouses can be in love and still enjoy sex with others. "They figure, 'I would much rather do it with the person I love than have them do it behind my back.'" From the looks of it, he's pretty successful. He has 4,000 members living in Utah. How fast is it growing? Four years ago there were 150 members. How common is it? Posing as a married woman, we signed up on a website aimed at so-called "swingers." In six days, 70 married men, most from Utah, ask to start a fling.

KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]Gasp! Tens of thousands of swingers here in Utah. I believe Utah now has a slightly higher-than-average divorce rate. The national divorce rate is 3.4% with Utah slightly higher at 3.6%. The percent of divorced residents in Utah is reported as 9.3% which is the 18th lowest in the nation. Don't ask me how those numbers reconcile. It has something to do with immigration into the state I am guessing. New Jersey reports that 8.5% of it's residents are divorced and that is the lowest in the nation. Well what do you think? Did more than 3.6% of all the swinger couples, that you have met end up getting a divorce? Was it over swinging? Are more than 9.3% of the swingers population divorced? This would include all the singles now swinging that were once married. One woman telling the media how swinging ended her marriage is anecdotal at best. Do I believe she is telling the truth? Yes I do. Do I personally believe swinging ads an extra element of jeopardy to a marriage? Yes I do. Do I believe there are quite a few people that would be happier staying away from the swinging lifestyle? Yes I do. Never-the-less, most of the couples, we have personally met, that are swingers seem to enjoy swinging and frankly enjoy doing it together. Do I believe there are quite a few couples who will enjoy swinging? Yes I do, we certainly have enjoyed the lifestyle experience as do a lot of swinging couples we have met. In the end if you are a married couple you have to make the decision based on the two of you, as to whether or not swinging is a good thing in your lives individually and as a couple. As for statistical models as to the divorce rate within the community of swingers well there aren't any. This isn't really a news story it's sensationalist journalism designed to attract viewers. Anyway, the divorce rate has been going down since the 1980s and swinging has been on the rise since the 1980s so you could make an analogy that swinging is saving marriage. Yes it would be a bunch of anecdotal bull shit just like this story. [/quote] Right. And swinging doesn't end a marriage anymore than cheating or lying or alcohol abuse or drugs, etc; people end marriages. Any relationship is an invention solely created by those people involved and only they have power over its progress forward. Will swinging or discussions about it lead to problems between people in relationships? Potentially. But any attempt by the anonymous lady in the story to blame swinging for anything is an attempt on her part to avoid accountability. You can't blame the alcohol itself for the drunk. PS, NJ may have a lower divorce rate b/c it's one of the few states that still grants annulment instead of divorce in certain cases.

Safe Sex - How do you (or don't you) protect yourselves? - Condoms? Yes, please. However...I can think of quite a few reasons why some people are opposed to using them; Intimacy, sensation, alergies, penis size, etc. None of them seems compelling enough to me to make an acception though... As \"swingers\" there is very very very little possibility that we (despite the fact that mRs. Luvbugs is \"fixed\") would allow anyone to be with either of us unless there was protection involved. In 12 years we have seen unwanted pregnancys, a paternity suit that became very nasty, STD\'s passed from one couple to another, and complete dishonesty about the sexual history of the person in question. What cracks us both up is when we get these letters that say \"Vasectomy SAFE.\" Get the f**k outta here! Are you serious? Safe from what? Pregnancy? A condom will do that nicely buddy, and as long as you arent trying to fuck a hole in someones back, they shouldnt really break all that often. Everyone believes that they have led a good life and have avoided the contraction of an STD. I would like to be able to accept that fact in good faith, but there is no way I can allow myself to think in such a naiive manner. There are even those in this world who would KNOWINGLY pass a deadly disease such as AIDS to another person out of pure spite that they themselves have contracted it. There are risks with oral sex as well, but the probability of contracting anything serious is atleast somewhat less then through vaginal intercourse. I just cant see it. It amazes me. A person would have to be plain stupid to take that risk. Just our .02 cents. Luvbugs! (mR.) ;)