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Disabled Swingers - - Too bad you are so far away. Would not be a problem to us. We would only need to know the situation and limitations ahead of time. We chose when we began that cleanliness and personality would be the things that would limit us. Everyone has a right to enjoy life and the lifestyle. We have only encountered one man who wore a brace. He was great in bed.
Ralph and Fae
New Swingers Club in Utah - Gauging interest in new club - Davidandmarie,
I don't think it is a legal issue, I think it is more of an issue of not knowing for certain if the concept would fly and have enough attendance to justify the massive expense in opening one up. I may decide to do it if it looks like it will be well-attended.
Fishinginutah,
You have some great ideas and we are going to need to chat more!
Herwoody801,
A dance floor is something we were planning, but we would want it in a separate area so there were still areas where people could chat without loud thumping music in their ears.
Wildfire,
Being super private, discreet, and extremely safe is something that would be our top priority. We have no desire to have our sexuality on display for the rest of the world either. I am considering making it a private club, which it would probably have to be for legal purposes, and we would have to create some kind of vetting process where you can only become a member if you know a member who can vouch for you, type of thing. That way we can make sure that everyone who is showing up is someone who is either part of the lifestyle already or seriously considering to be part of it. The last thing we want is to have "outsiders" coming just to gawk and potentially cause problems.
Additionally, cameras and cell phones would have to be left upon entrance so there would be no risk of cameras on site that could compromise the privacy of the guests.
Thanks for the input so far, keep it all coming!
Ideas on Swingers Car Rally..... - Ideas on Swingers Car Rally..... - Ok everyone! I guess it is official. The cars and bikes both will be having a get-together. Please bring your vintage, exotic, classic, hot rod, or any car you love to drive and be at Club Tastebuds on October 14th. Please post to the "Bikers and Babes" forum so that we can track who is coming.
Chris & Donna
Playing with \"swingers\" vs \"nonswingers\" - - I would not worry so much that the young guy in question is too eager. Thats common with the young ones. You need to talk with him and make sure he understands what descretion means and what you expect of him before and after. Will he keep his mouth shut to his buddies and protect your privacy? This is what worries us with the young ones.
Most of the guys we have talked with that were supposidly in the \"lifestyle\" turned out to just be married guys looking to score on the side or guys who ran across the web site trying to get laid. We only met one man who really was a regular swinger type. Its always a crap shoot.
Your a hot looking woman, Im sure he is eager to try you.
Swingers Party - Doesnt mean who ever is there is open to everyone elsa - Picking the right group of people to swing with is a very important part of the lifestyle. I avoid groups that don't know and apply swing etiquette. Rule ONE...No means NO! Rule TWO...No one should touch or kiss another without permission. I'm sure we all have encountered people that don't know the rules (or get so drunk they forget them) but I encourage an optimistic attitude and careful networking to find the swingers you are compatible with.
Kirkland, Washington - - We are taking a quick trip to Kirkland on July 9th! Any info on swingers or clubs in that area would be great!!
Risque Soriee Erotic Halloween Ball - The Wildest Halloween Party in the West! - As far as swingers parties go... it's pretty tame. There are no play spaces in the room where the party is held. People usually go to their hotel rooms after. They usually host at a hotel ball room so you can't even leave the room to use the rest room unless u cover up. It's fun, safe, tame. The naughtiest stuff you will see at the we ball is boobs.
Friendship vs. spontaneity? - Are you here to make friends or just to fuck? - The perception of this lifestyle is that there is a whole lot of sex going on between everyone. Maybe if you are young slim and trim and willing to go to bed with everyone at the drop of a hat that is true. But that pretty much describes the young anyway. If that is your perception of all swingers, and you are here in Utah, then you are bound to be disappointed.
I think that this question comes up a lot because it is not a simple question for many of us and it seems to be posted by those seeking friends first. The end goal may be sex. But if that is your only goal then why do you say you are seeking friends. Friendships are not made in 30 seconds or a drink over at the pub. If that is what makes friendships in your mind then you are really just here for sex.
For us it is finding friends. Some folks that we meet we will play with and some we will be just friends with. It really boils down to a 4 way vote when it comes to the bedroom and maybe even being friends in the first place. And that is what makes finding friends and bedroom partners difficult. There is always the added fear of rejection that gets in the way when you want to anything anyone.
I look at all the complaints of one-nighters and couples that never speak again after sex. I can only surmise that for those folks sex is the only yard stick of friendship. You do not have to be sexually compatible to be friends.
We have found that if what you are looking for is friends, then it is easy to be part of the lifestyle. If what you are looking for is based on having sex then it is easy to be disappointed and difficult to be part of the lifestyle.
Furthermore we look at those that just want to screw and think how lonely their existence must be.
Friend collectors or swingers - - My opinion, which hasn't changed in ages, is this, and I'm not chastising anyone, just offering my 2 cents.
One of the recurring and biggest problem that swingers face is that they decide what they personally like, or want, and then assume everyone else should choose the same path or they don't understand why how everyone else doesn't feel the same way they do. I've read the forum posts for years and the same questions recirculate on a regular basis. "Why don't people want to be the type of swingers we are?" "We don't want friends, we just want to have sex." "We don't necessarily want to have sex until we are friends." "We really only want friends but rarely play." All valid forms of the lifestyle and perfectly acceptable to different people.
The lifestyle can take work. It typically isn't easy and will take some time and effort to achieve your lifestyle goals. Sure it's helpful to post your desires in your profile but I'm sure people read those only rarely, or maybe they are drunk searching, or maybe they can't read. :) There are all types. Try not to get frustrated because someone else isn't following you lead. Be patient. Within one or two convos you should be expressing your goals and figuring out the goals of the people you are trying to get to know. Get a system that weeds out the people you are't interested in, something that works for you. You will get better with time and hopefully someday what you are looking for will be much easier to find.
However, until then, realize life isn't black and white, nor is swinging. There are as many varieties of swingers as there are ice cream flavors, or flavored condoms. haha. Don't expect others to want the same thing as you but certainly look for those that do. Be patient, kind and realize everyone is possibly looking for a different scenario than you. Some people love to send blind requests, some hate it. Right or wrong, it's life. Accept that there is mound of bullshit between you and that perfect couple/single male/female/trans/group/poly/donkey/toys only/DTF.... (Well, you get the point we are all looking for something different)that you are looking for.
So don't be frustrated. Accept it will be a challenge and work on better ways to make your life easier. There won't be a good answer only many shades of grey.
"Don't try to bend the spoon, for that is impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth... there is no spoon. Then you will see it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself."
And to the single males that post ridiculous stuff? WTF? Ugh. You make us all look like mentally disabled Neanderthals.
"Me have dick. Me like pussy. Stick it good."
Friends with out benefits? - Is it possible to find friends on here who dont want to fuck? - I am not sure you can take the sexual part out of the swinger. You can be friends with a swinger and do bar sexual fun and not even come close to the bedroom.
Here are rules for dating a swinger.
1. Never go home with a swinger. This is where the magic happens.
I guess that is the only rule...hope this helps? (Just Kidding everyone. Love Swingers 4evr!!!)
The real truth is be upfront and let them know your rules. Keep it REAL!
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