Puyallup Swingers in Washington

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Wannabes and net fakes - Will the real lifestyle members please stand up - We have learned the best phrase to learn quickly in this lifestlye is "NEXT" lets face it this is nothing but a #'s game you have to contact loy=ts to find the few good ones and once you find those good ones it makes all the weeding out of the fakes and flakes worth it. Like we tell people a social meeting or two is fine but we do not intend to date you a year before you decide if you want to play with us or not . We just wish people would have the balls to say at least "no thanks" or tellthe truth they are "wanna" swingers into only the fantasy of it and never really intend to do it. When we find those we simply say "NEXT!" Norm&Sharon

Any swingers advise for Spain? - Swing clubs in Madrid - We will be in Madrid, Spain and Marrakech, Morocco for 2 weeks starting 12/3, we know Morocco is dead but wondered if anyone who's been to Madrid could point us in the right direction? We speak Spanish, so language not a barrier. A and L

Isagenix Swingers in Utah - Are there any on here? - I used to be with Isagenix years ago. So I am definitely down to talk and meet up about different stuff I've been to a lot of conventions I started with them back in 2004 and then I switched. But yes that stuff is pretty awesome. Have a wonderful evening.

Are u a vol? - - Hoping to hear from the other folks who like to swing that live in Tennessee. Are there any dance clubs or other social places to party with like minded swingers?

Disabled Swingers - - Too bad you are so far away. Would not be a problem to us. We would only need to know the situation and limitations ahead of time. We chose when we began that cleanliness and personality would be the things that would limit us. Everyone has a right to enjoy life and the lifestyle. We have only encountered one man who wore a brace. He was great in bed. Ralph and Fae

What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

Wannabes and net fakes - Will the real lifestyle members please stand up - Plenty of "real" swingers get labeled as fakes every day. Plenty of fake swingers, get mistaken for "real" ones just as often. That phrase should not be subjective to whether or not someone stood you up, faked a profile, or used old pics, just to name a few negative things. Those people are simply assholes. Even if they fancy themselves swingers. It has happened to us on many occassions that someone has claimed to have seen one of her pics either in a mag, or on a paid porn site, which automatically makes us "fakes". We have been labled as "fakes" based on the fact that we choose not to (primarily) meet with couples, thus we must be fake. We have been accused of being "fakes" because we are selective about with whom we meet, and even more selective about with whom we play. NO fakes here. Just smart people who know what we are looking for. People who have an axe to grind are typically the first to call out "fakes" on sites like these. I may not have the benefit of 25 years of swinging to support that supposition, but it is what is obvious to me. I am sure that there are a great many "fakes" out there who are only interested in wasting other peoples time with their bullshit, and believe me when I say that we have met one or two over the years...but I wouldnt automatically brand someone a "fake" based on the fact that they didnt show up for a meeting. (That is not to say that we would excuse that behavior, because if someone stands us up they had better be dead or we are done with them for good.) But who knows..maybe they just got cold feet? Maybe they really DID get a flat tire on the way to see you....shit happens. Luvbugs! (mR.) :p

Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - TEQUILAROSE You are right spot on. The difference is that poly requires the relationship/commitment. Swinging doesn't.. Swinging is almost always a relationship with minimal commitment (commitment/relationship is wide open to the participants to dictate as they wish) required since the participants are usually already in a committed relationship. Here it branches, and there are three ways to go. 1 Swingers that are in a committed relationship (married or SO or single) and don't want someone that would interfere with that base relationship. Just enjoy some recreational sex with others (the vast majority). If they want to grow it beyond, then go for it and enjoy. (Least restritive of the bunch) 2 Cheaters and yes boys and girls, there are a lot of gals that fit this catagorie even if they are way outnumbered by males. 3 Married or otherwise in a not good relationship looking to explore more and find everything hunky dorie again. NOT A GOOD place to go. Swinging is a place to go for recreational sex and then make the relationship/friendship whatever you want out of it. Anywhere from none to good friends.

Game for Swingers - Has anyone heard of a new game for lifestyle couples called Titillation? - We are looking for feedback from swingers who have played Titillation (www.titillationgame.com).

swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - Not everyone goes to a swingers party with sex on the brain. Many go looking forward to conversation, good food, good wine or other drink, connecting with old friends, making new ones. If sex happens, great! If not, a great night was still experienced. There are some though who go expecting sex, are quite crude and crass and then leave the party in a huff because nobody would partner up with them. Go to any online community that is geared for a specific topic or lifestyle and you will always find off topic conversation. Why is that? Because human beings are multi-faceted beings with a wide variety of interests. We crave knowledge, humor, entertainment, enlightenment, you name it, we want most of it, if not all. When one's thoughts and spoken topics all center around one thing, it makes a person very dull. I'm an excellent cook. But if all I ever talked about was cheesecake, rack of lamb, creme brulee, I'd be pretty damn boring no matter how cute I am. It's the same with anyone. One track mind, one topic = boring. Open up. Show who you are, what makes you tick. That is how you make connections IN and OUT of the bedroom. Ali