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Signals, Identifying 'markers' - Do scarves, jewelry, or other items worn a certain way ID you as part of the lifestyle? - We have never heard of the gold ring but the pendant that is growing in popularity in Utah seems like a nice way to distinguish swingers in crowd. Being both straight, we prefer to be upfront and just say it like it is so there are no surprises. We have brought the pendant up in a few groups we belong to or run here in Florida and hope we can follow Utah and make this the universal way to find each other in a crowd.
Why are there so many swingers from Utah? - - It always seems like the big groups of swingers are somewhere else! ;)
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Blindlove,
We take that approach to anyone, including. Even couples have to "prove" themselves to us. We've found more asshole married dudes than in the single male side.
I have a question for those of you that allow single females and not single males. You could use the they "bring nothing to the table" argument as well. After all, many of them don't want to play with the male half.
=D=
That little nudge many of us need - - [quote=PARTYINLV][quote=EVILDOERS]There are plenty of people on Swingular, ourselves included, who strongly prefer to meet and get to know people a bit (sometimes over weeks or even months) before any kind of 'sexy time' happens. In fact, for us at least, we're happy just to hang out and be friends even if sex NEVER happens. There are also avowed demi-sexuals here who absolutely need some kind of emotional connection (and no, it doesn't necessarily have to be romantic or love or anything beyond friendship) before they can feel sexual attraction to other people. Perhaps your wife is more oriented in that direction. Beyond that, maybe it would be more above-board to just hang out with vanillas and see if you can slowly evolve your friendship towards something more sexual. Just a thought.[/quote]
We have friendships with vanilla couples who we think are smoking hot and wish they were in the lifestyle. lol. Perhaps this is a question for another forum thread. But, how does one broach the subject with a vanilla couple who are friends? Does anyone have any success stories of how you converted a vanilla couple friendship to the lifestyle? We would be afraid about outing ourselves or maybe even losing a friendship. [/quote]
Personally, we think the best way to broach that subject with vanillas is to just, at some point in the friendship, put it out there that you're swingers and then let the other couple process, digest, and come to terms with that information and do with it what they will. We feel like there are FAR too many swingers who enjoy 'vanilla hunting' and use unfair tactics (alcohol, late nights, etc.), if not outright subterfuge, to try to 'convert' them as, I guess, some kind of power trip. If you let people have the space to come to a rational, informed decision on their own there is, IMO, FAR less chance for drama (or WORSE!) as a sequela.
When You're Shopping the Scene... - - Yeah, it'd be kinda cool if there actually WAS some kind of universal accessory or a signal that swingers could use to ID each other out in the vanilla world. And many have tried over the years but nothing has ever really caught on (back in the day, more than a few women wore necklaces of an apple with a bite out of it). And even if something DID actually catch on, and people wore it or whatever to identify other swingers, how long do you think it would take for the internet to make that fairly common knowledge?
We went to a swinger's convention in San Diego a number of years ago. The group had taken over the entire hotel and property and nobody was allowed in without a special wristband. It took about 4 hours for most of the hotel staff to learn what those wristbands meant. By the next day, people at nearby hotels, restaurants, and shopping centers had heard the news and as you passed people they would glance at you and then immediately glance down at your wrist. By that evening, most of the swingers were becoming so self-conscious that they were attempting to hide the wristbands beneath watches and bracelets. A few even pulled them off their wrists, if they were loose enough, and then put them back on when re-entering the property.
So, as nice as it would be to know for sure who other swingers are, it would kinda defeat the purpose of what many of us state in our profiles...that we're discreet. I suspect that about 10% (if even) would wear a black ring and about 90% wouldn't for fear of being outed as swingers. YMMV
Swingers Kickball Society - - My husband and I would be interested. It sounds like fun. Great idea! Please let us know.
Playing with \"swingers\" vs \"nonswingers\" - - I would not worry so much that the young guy in question is too eager. Thats common with the young ones. You need to talk with him and make sure he understands what descretion means and what you expect of him before and after. Will he keep his mouth shut to his buddies and protect your privacy? This is what worries us with the young ones.
Most of the guys we have talked with that were supposidly in the \"lifestyle\" turned out to just be married guys looking to score on the side or guys who ran across the web site trying to get laid. We only met one man who really was a regular swinger type. Its always a crap shoot.
Your a hot looking woman, Im sure he is eager to try you.
Other activities? - Do you only meet swingers for sex? - we also meet most for friendship. we play if we have the chemistry, but that\'s not a given
We like to boat and go out on the town with our lifestyle friends. We have them over for dinner and stuff as well...
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - i like to eat babies. they taste like chickens. and chickens taste like babies.
New Yorker Shutting down - - [quote=FantasiesofSLC]You sound like someone who visited Epstein's Island. Even though there is evil there, it's okay because I had fun.[/quote] But that would be “taking the moral high ground” and “hypocritical” because we are swingers we can’t have standards or morals! Yes everyone has a line and it’s ok to have that line, but when the ATF or other federal agencies get involved we are out. Call us hypocrites.
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