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What's the universal swinger signal? - How can you spot a swinger?? - [quote=ORALLYBI4CPL]I always tell people I like girl juice and sausage for breakfast...
real swingers know what I mean :)
[/quote]
Or do you like "girl juice" on your "sausage?" ;)
We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - I don't kiss and tell but I am so angry.....this was the second time we played. I should have known but they said they were quiet and we just assumed they needed to get to know us and open up. They sure talked a lot pre 2nd playtime how fun it was gonna be etc. The guy asked the girl to leave in the middle of it without any explanation!!! Our intention of this post is only to avoid this in the future. We are really a fun couple and are very disappointed. We look forward to more mature, secure couples to get to know. Obvousily they weren't ready or on the same page. We really want all the couples that we play with to be 110% comfortable and both parties are into the situation and want to play.
Staying a couple in the lifestyle - - [quote=zugzug]We've been at the LS nearly our entire 15 year marriage.. and we've always done things as a couple. Even way back when we were newly hatched swingers, we've always done it as a couple, and we've used our real names from the beginning, mostly because we're not creative enough to come up with fake names. Neither of us would make good actors, because we'd never respond to anything but our real names either 🤣
We started this together with equal gusto with the idea of having fun together while having sex with other people at the same time, and with people we want to be friends with, and not exclusively in the bedroom either.
Has it always worked out that way? No but that's okay. We've always still managed to have fun. Anything that we can experience with each other and share together has made it 100% worthwhile. The day we can't have fun doing this together is the day we go back to being sexually monogamous. Simple as that.
But the REAL secret to why we're still happily married is that there is one thing we do separately, which may be problematic for some.
It's scary sharing this, but here goes....
We don't share blankets. We can't do it. We've tried, and it doesn't work for us. We're both very needy in regards to tossing and turning and being wrapped in our own blankets. Plus, we've got our individual blanket needs that can't be met with exclusively with the same one.[/quote]
We also draw the line at blankets because we saw how well that worked out for so many Native Americans back in the day. :-( But we do share other stuff because, well...sharing is caring.
[img]https://i.imgflip.com/41icsj.jpg[/img]
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - Where do you get the codes from so I would like to go there one of these times even if it does cost
Exclusive Couples - couples who are committed to another couple - Ok! You have heard from someone who is poly....ME. But we are still swingers and no one expects us to be exclusive either.... anymore than we expect them to remain true to us and us alone. Polyamorous is a conjunction of a Greek and a Latin word. Means to love more than one.....I don't fall in love with everyone that we have sex with but I do have 2 secondary relationships. One woman is separated and we met her in the lifestyle.. We love, yes WE love her as much as people can feel love. The other were seeing what swinging was about and came to a club that we attend. The lady and I started talking and then on line and we discovered that we loved each other. I stopped by their house and talked to her husband and we, that couple and us are great friends and she and I are lovers.... and everything is open and above board. Recently while I was in the hospital from a heart attack, they came to visit everyday. So poly really isn't about swinging at all but there are poly people in swinging who are looking for exclusive relationships... I let people know that I'm poly because if the lady and I hit it off...... I don't want any surprises... BUT I never go looking for that type of loving relationship in the swinging community, i.e., "the lifestyle"
I think that some people use the word without a true understanding of what poly really is... Poly can involve sexual relationships but those are based on love not sexual recreation. My wife is not basically poly however, she loves that lady who is not attached as much as I do... so in a way she may be poly but does not wish to define herself that way.
When talking about poly and swinging one has to make a distinction as to what people are looking for in a relationship. And, let's not kid ourselves...swinging and sex with people outside of your marriage or relationship is really a relationship aleit maybe a short lived one but one all the same.
I'm just a person who can and does love more than one person. Like being hetro or BI or whatever..... that's just part of my make up.. I have chosen to be a swinger and if it lead to something I hope that I have let people know ahead of time and found out their feelings on that possibility... If they are not open to that but are sexually attracted, then we can keep it on that basis and I simply have to be aware. I think it can best be analoged to a couple or one of the partners in a couple being bi. They find a couple to play with but that couple are not bi or have no curiosity in that bent.... So they play and the bi part is never an issue because they discussed it beforehand and everybody was fine with the situation....
I belong to a poly group here in my state. the group is more a discussion group although they get together once a month and every mon or Fri to discuss poly issues. Most of the people who are in that group, over 300, will say that poly and swinging are two entirely separate issues and they are totally unrelated. There are a number of members, both single and couples, who are also listed on swinger sites....They are looking for sexual companionship and maybe, if it happens, loving relationships... So poly and swinging are not so exclusive nor does it mean that poly swingers are only looking for LTRs any more than bi women will only play with couples who have bi women in them.... Being poly of Bi ain't an issue...playing is...
There may be some who are in the lifestyle to find lovers... Easy to find out and make a decission about....
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - ALSO IF YOU BELIEVE IN THEM: "THE TEN COMAMANDMENTS"
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - [quote=HOTTIEHOGANS]I LOVE dp :) love love love. I would like to try dvp too. but we don't do single guys and finding girls that want to do it/allow their hubby's to do it is difficult. :([/quote]
Is single out because of the worry about attachment? What about a married guy playing alone?
9/11/21 NCL cruise to Alaska - Any swingers cruising along with us. - [quote=PUCHAS]Are there any swingers cruising to Alaska in this cruise. Cruise ends the 18th [/quote] Hope you two have a great time. Would love to know how it went, Patty and I are going on a cruise in late Mar. Bon Voyage!!
LVSTRIPPERBABE IS BACK!! I missed you guys!! Any swingers in Col - - That is really weird. I wonder why we can't receive messages right now. I will have to look into that guys!!!
Monica
Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this.
It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more.
Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell.
It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.)
You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.)
Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.
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