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Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - Posted By: XPLORR94248 Reply posted on:
Nov 10, 2007 - 12:11 pm
Poly people generally take issue with swinging as be strictly recreational SEX! and no love where as poly, supposedly, is love based not necessarily any sex....but sex usually is involved at some level. The attitude is that swinging is not a good thing that swinging is diametrically opposed to poly.
So while there are some similarities in swinging and poly in that more and more swingers are looking for relationships, i.e., "friends with benefits" ; "Friends in and out of the bedroom". These friendships are based on attraction and sex after the attraction. Poly people take the concept that poly is based on loving someone and if sex happens then OK, but that love is the key and sex is at best secondary.
I would say that swinging (full swap, soft swap) IS recreational sex. It ISN'T about falling in love with someone. That poly people would think swinging is bad because it is diametrically opposed to poly doesn't surprise me one bit. Kinda like me being a Grand Dragon of the KKK thinking that people who even can think of having a relationship with a black person are sick in the head. To a poly person, the only difference between them and a "normal" person is that they have more than one person with whom they have love in the relationship. "Normal" people also think spouse swapping is a bad idea too. Again, no surprise.
I would say that swinging and poly have only one similarity and that is that they are having sex with somebody that they are not legally married to and the spouse is fine with it. Beyond that, I don't see the similarities.
"Black Ring" or other Lifestyle insignia? - - We used to go to lifestyle "conventions" back in the day. A thousand or so couples taking over a hotel. Theme dances, seminars, an expo hall with anything and everything sexual. You were given wristbands when you registered to get into all the venues. It usually took about 4 or 5 hours for people (vanillas) at nearby hotels and such to hear about what was going on start looking for who was wearing those telltale wristbands. It would get so bad people (swingers) would just take them off or try to hide them under watches and jewelry. Can't imagine something like this wouldn't fairly quickly (especially with the internet) turn out the same or worse and for some reason not too many people seem to want to be identified as swingers when they're at the grocery store or out to eat with their families or in ANY public place. Imagine that![em]Emo_67[/em]
big - - GARYLSTAR, This is a swinger site. Not a picture site. LOL It's for swingers to meet on any level they so choose. Pics and writing are both ways of doing it. I hardly think 95% of the people come for the pics. I sure as hell don't come here for the pictures. I can tons of images for free all over the web.
-D-
Appropriate Parameters of Sexual Conduct in Modern Society - Should sex still have a unique status or just be another hobby? - Beard, You did open something up but I'm not sure what.
I had to copy and paste your original here so I didn't miss or get too confused..
One of your last points first: Moral refers to standards as defined by the church, the government or your neighbors(in light of the Supreme Court decission a few years ago about porn) Ethics, on the other hand are something that we define for ourselves based on our upbringing/environment and values that we have defined based on whatever we base them on.
You are right that marriage is a concept designed by religion and the government for the care of offspring and the clear definition of linage for property rights. You use the term marriage, which is a legal term like it is a moral imperative then ask if it should be based on some one or group of common interrests. Then the next breath you suggest that marriage is supposed to be more than any of that and something to do with sharing and intimacy. Finally you go back to somehow trying to make a point, (I'm not sure what that point was) that maybe there should be a conglomerate of reasons for marriage then with the nesxt breath you ask if sex should be forbidden..
Now lets see if this makes any sense to anyone. I'm poly and We swing. I have a lover who is married and her husband knows or us(he is not poly) and B knows of us and we are all good friends. We are, my lover and I, intimate both emotionally and sexually and both non poly mates knowof this. B and I are very much soulmates but then my lover is also very close to that as well. I do not wish to take her away from her husband and I do not wish to replace B. She does not want to replace her husband with me and we are alll OK with that arrangement.
In my heart of heart I am married to both in a very intimate way although I do not wish to procreate with anyone anymore. She feels the same way toward me. I would submit that marriage is an intimate, emotional and sometimes physical union of people.. I did not say two people I said people. We have been taught sex as a negative thing and relationships with more than one as a negative thing because we cannot love more than one person or more than one at any one time... I submit that we can love more than one and that the more we love the more we get back from that...
Swinging is started off as fun between close friends and sometimes the term wife swapping became a reality.... Sex is fun adn swinging is about sex and today alot of times about relationships. Relationships in my opinion are for the benefit of everyone involved... .
So I'm not sure if I understood where you were going but this is my take on the propositions as I understood them.
Depending on any person's opinion or preferences sex and love can be the same or they can be separate or they can be coincidental but it's basically up to that person or couple to make that determination....
We, in the lifestyle, may ultimately be right and marriage may change to a more contractual thing rather than some sacrosanct BS that it has become.... Swingers as a group have more than 3.4 time greater chance of remaining married than that of non swingers. The range of failed marriages is between 66 and 77% in all first and second marriages and some 70% of all married people cheat on their mates. Swinger have a better than 85% chance of marriage survival. Cheating is not exempt in Swinging but I think is is greatly reduced...
I think as swingers we have sex with friends and it can be just that or it can be more... at least for me..
Pink flamingo - How many swingers have a pink flamingo in their front yard? - We’re not that cool lol but we have a solar pineapples now that’s cool 😀
Bubulaplease - Confidentiality - [quote=BUBULAPLEASE]Something that has bothered me a little bit...when we went to Lumpys the doorman asked if we were there for the Sinful event. We says yes and as we were walking down the stairs some people upstairs asked him what was going on and he said it was a swingers party. I mentioned it to a few people that night and it seemed that it was a normal occurrence. We realize that going to the events we may run into someone we know, however, people who don't know about our lifestyle also go to lumpys. I would hate for them to know there was a swingers party going on and then see us leaving or something. My question..is this normal? Is it this way at, say, Sandy Station? Do the group organizers ask for confidentiality?[/quote]
Unfortunately its naive to think a doorman would actually be told how to respond or give it much thought otherwise. Its unlikely they care unless they know it would jeopardize the business these events bring in. We realize the risk of being found out but we also realize that deniability is just using the right words should you ever fall into the circumstance of being asked if you where there for the swinger event at Lumpys.
So our response for someone vanilla that we know would be OMG can you believe we wondered into to that event...wow what a funny mistake(as we laugh both inside and out). Many people would prefer to not put themselves in the situation but its always best just to have a game plan on how to react for judgmental vanillas.
fantasy football league free trying to get only swingers in leag - free autodraft fantasy football league - oh yes that would be HOT
Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - [quote=Sl1ckdick]Kik: sl1ckity and out in the 84108 for the week/weekend if anyone has recommendations for a good bar/hiking/etc[/quote] lol. BBBBBBBBC bro. Lol
Wife sharing - Let’s see some fun adventures - Swingers cove at deer creek? A real thing?
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - Rolling a 2009 freightliner century class s/t oh yeah and I get a whopping 51/2 miles to the gallon lol
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