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Cuming out of the Swinger closet - - [quote=CNTRLCPL][quote=SJA]After some time in the lifestyle, we have recently started to break the news to some of our close friends that we are swingers.
We have great friends and so far they have taken the information really well. However, we have other friends that would never want to hear it, and god forbid if we ever told our family about it.
What are everyone else's thoughts about coming out of the "Swinger" closet?[/quote]
Have you even considered the implications for others that may want to stay "in the closet"? You may be committing "Swinger Suicide" as it were... your openness might be great for you, but other may want to stay behind the curtain and would not want to be outed by association. [/quote]
This is an excellent point we hadn't thought about. Luckily, we've only shared with a couple VERY close friends. Plus, we keep our vanilla friends and swinger friends quite separate to avoid this situation.
The statistics of swinging - Relationship longevity in the lifestyle. - One thing we've noticed (and even had a few close calls with ourselves) is that, once the initial thrill of swinging/swapping wears off a little bit, many people look for the NEXT big thrill...usually separate play. And THAT, if you're not really prepared for it and don't go into it with your eyes wide open, is when things can get really sticky.
I have an acquaintance in the lifestyle who is a professor of physiology who likes to talk at length about the "love hormone", oxytocin, and how powerful it can be in some lifestyle circumstances. I guess a subset of this issue might be how many swingers who break up do so because they fall in love with someone else in the lifestyle.
One particularly insidious behavior that we've, unfortunately, encountered are men, both single AND married, in the lifestyle who attempt to ply Ms. Evil by saying things like, "If you were mine I would never want to share you.". There are probably a fair number of women (and probably men) who might be susceptable to that type of talk if they're insecure in their primary relationship.
Looking for Advice - Recently coming back into the LS - Everyone is different and this lifestyle is not just one thing swinging is something that combines a lot of subjects into one and to say that to you about your not swingers well that’s just like a teacher saying “your stupid” to a kid then that kid goes with another teacher and in that class he’s a genius and the teacher says “your a genius” we all have what we want and what we are comfortable with
swingers of ameriica is being work on - sorry it is taking solong - OK EVERYBODY THE SITE IS BACK UP . BUT WE STILL NEED A FEW MORE DAYS TO FINE TUNE THE CAM PART . SO PLEASE DONT ADD ANYTHING TO THE CAM PART RIGHT YET . WE WILL POST WHEN IT IS READY . BUT THE REST OF THE SITE IS GOOD TO GO .
I TOLD EVERYBODY DUE TO THE SITE BEING DOWN FOR THOSE TWO DAYS . THAT THEY WILL HAVE 48 HOURS TO BUY ANY ITEMS FOR AN EXTRA DOLLAR OFF EACH . BUT SINCE THE STORM CAME I KNOW ALOT OF PEOPLE ARE OUT OF POWER AGAIN AND ALL THAT STUFF . SO I WILL MAKE IT FOR A MONTH .SO ANYTHING U BUY U WILL GET A DOLLAR OFF AT TIME OF BUYING PLUS STILL GET YOUR DOLLAR OFF COUPON FOR THE NEXT ORDER . SO IF U BUY MORE THEN ONE THING I WILL ALSO TAKE THAT EXTRA DOLLAR OFF AT TIME OF BUYING ALSO .SO THAT WOULD BE $2.00 OFF OF EACH ITEM U BUY . AND FOR ANYONE THAT LOSES POWER U CAN USE THAT DEAL WHEN U GET BACK ON . JUST EMAIL ME AND TELL ME AND THEN U CAN GET THE DEAL .THATS WHY I TRIED TO MAKE IT FOR A MONTH . BUT IF U DONT GET YOUR POWER ON IN THAT TIME JUST LET ME KNOW WHE U DO AND U WILL BEABLE TO GET THAT DEAL .
AND IAM TRYING TO ADD TO THE COSTUME COLLECTION BEFORE HALOWEEN . IF U HAVE ANY COSTUMES U DONT WANT NOW WOULD BE THE TIME TO ADD THEM FOR PEOPLE TO BUY . I WILL BE GOING SHOPPING SOON TO GET NEW ONES SO LET ME KNOW IF U NEED SOMETHNG OTHER THEN WHAT I ALREADY HAVE .
I WISH EVERYBODY THE BEST DURING THIS STORM . PLEASE BECAREFUL .
NAUGHTY DREAMS
FREAKY KITTY
Lava hot springs - - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]We stay in Pocatello. The drives nice enough getting there and the foods pretty good in Pocatello.[/quote]
Worst advise I can think of... It defeats one of the biggest attractions of Lava, which is once you park your car for the weekend it doesn't move until you go home.
I can think of few things less fun than driving 35 minutes on mountain roads after a couple of drinks at the Blue Moon or visiting Lava and being tagged the designated driver. Everyone that parties goes to the Blue Moon as that is where the fun is at in the evening.
For those who have never done Lava the main attractions in the summer are tubing the river and the Blue Moon, while the main attractions in the winter are the hot springs and the Blue Moon. There are other things to do and you can mix and match, but we've found that is how our time breaks out when we're not fucking.
We visit Lava 5 or 6 times a year, of those maybe two are for LS Events, two for romantic getaways and two for friends and family.
Lava is known as a local Idaho and Utah swingers destination and there are many there every weekend. The problem is you need to have your meet ups scheduled before arriving as it's almost impossible to sort the LS from the vanilla on site.
Risqué Soiree held an event in Lava last spring that was very fun and well attended, we hope they do it again this year. It was a great event for those new to the LS or anyone wanting to meet friends. Also because it involved both Idaho and Utah there was a lot more interaction than many meet ups where people have a tendency to group up with those they already know.
Lava is one of those places you will either fall in love with and visit often, or visit once to say you have been there and done that and never return. But one thing I can promise, and that is if your room is in Pocatello you'll never understand the nuances that make Lava so charming to many. If you want big fancy hotels and everything about your visit orchestrated you would be much better advised to spend your vacation in Vegas as you will not be happy in Lava.
Anyhoo... that's our two cents, your mileage may vary.
swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - I have to say after reading this entire thread... I wonder why people even continue to come to this website with all the mudslinging and name calling... come on people we are suppose to be adults... If ya cant say something nice or constructive then keep it to yourself..
Maybe ya all need to go to Jamaica where when someone is complaining all ya have to say is..
"No Problem Mon! soon come"
:z
Swingers unnerve families at hotel - - The morning radio station had one of the fathers of the soccer team players live on a call this morning and he said the kids saw alot ..more by the pool ....They had to send some kids to thier rooms and the kids are like\" why are we being punished\"? LOL He also said it was terrible planning the next time they will NOT go there ...
M
We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - Will that
What is up with Swingular and Drama? - - Drama is on every swinger forum because, just like every other social group out there, some swingers never really graduated from junior high.
There will always be the people that thrive on drama or have to build themselves up by causing others grief. Also : Anonymity on the internet empowers douche bags. These two factors combined explain away a lot.
sluts? what? - how so? - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET][quote=SHADOWINGWHISPERS][quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]There is a book called "The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities" written by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy that defines Slut in a positive light. They might be using slut in that context. The book has been very popular with swingers for quite a few years. [/quote]
I would hope they are using it in that sense.. but words that compile around the slut term make it strongly seem like it's a negative term.. sadly..[/quote]
If they are using it in a derogatory sense it may be because they are experiencing a certain level of self loathing because they are struggling to accept their own sexual nature or they may have peers and family that would do their best to destroy them were they to live so free as you are. I think that the anger that leads to name calling and judgment sometimes is a secondary emotion that people choose to embrace because the primary emotion is much more painful. They may want what you have but lack the confidence or courage to go find it for themselves and so the same people that call someone a slut in the derogatory sense far too often are the same people that go off and struggle with their own sexuality in dark places through lying, cheating, abuse and even darker acts while swimming in a sea of self loathing.
We should all jump up and down and be happy that you are free or striving to become free of such shackles![/quote]
That makes sense.. I hope everyone can undo the shackles!! Great understanding..
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