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asking your swinger friend if you can join them. - - [quote=EVILDOERS]"I am not in the lifestyle and don't think I ever really fully would be"
"K USSIR your not a swinger but you wanna have sex with you friends wife with your friend there? HMMMMMMM I smell a swinger in the making"
Naw, I smell a single guy who just wants to get laid. If you aren't really interested in swinging just leave it alone and get your jollies elsewhere. There are plenty of ways for you to get your rocks off in bars and clubs and on Craigslist. It's your VERY common SM attitude that makes it tough for the very few single guys who get it and really want to be part of the lifestyle. No wonder so many people constantly say that singles aren't really swingers. But don't worry. You aren't alone. We've met TONS of single dudes over the years who've admitted that they would NEVER allow their wife (if they ever got married) to fuck another man. Swinging is an attitude and a mindset. A guy who would let you fuck his wife is risking a lot and sharing with you the most important thing in his life. If you can't grasp that concept you should just stay home and jerk it to online porn.[/quote]
Great points.. And if I may say, I am a single fella in this lifestyle, and yes if I were married or had a girlfriend, I would love to share with another man, woman, or couple. In fact when I go on dates, swinging is one of the conversations I make sure we have, if she is not interested in the lifestyle, then we enjoy the date and go our separate ways. I am open and honest upfront and not afraid to express my involvement in the lifestyle. If she is interested then we will talk more about it as the dating continues, if not, no hard feelings..
What Percentage Swinger Are You? - Maybe this is interesting - Pretty small. Some would probably consider us semi-retired or maybe even posers. We've been in the lifestyle for a long time and have pretty much fulfilled all or most of our fantasies so now we're sort of opportunistic swingers. We like to socialize a bit and if the mood stikes us or we meet a particularly enticing person or couple we go for it. If not we go home and have amazing sex with each other. :-)
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - I wouldn't go as far as saying swinging isn't entirely blameless in breakups. We were counting last summer and the number of swinger friends who've divorced over the years was well past 60 couples. The old adage from way back when we started swinging was, "Swinging can make a good marriage better but will almost always make a bad marriage worse."
Poly-Swingers - Moving beyond FWB relationship - SUMINDYFUN: To attempt to better answer your question, this is what we've experienced/learned in our poly-type relationships...
This is so much more of a complex subject than just a quick "blurb", we like to compare it to guessing a 4 combination lock, you know at least 1 or 2 of the correct numbers... but do you really??? You find out an amazing amount about YOURSELF through this process!
We have seen just about everything emerge, from complete unbelievable bliss to complete unbelievable hurt. However, what we've learned is TOTAL honesty, trust, respect, patience and absolute untethered communication are key! These things can either make or break it and breaking it earlier rather than later is a good thing, because if it breaks later then it usually means one or more people missed one or more of the fore-mentioned items and will cause much greater hurt because of all the time/work that was put in by the others.
BTW, apparently the bliss is much more powerful than the hurt because we keep trying and trying for some reason? Yep, its like a drug and we're addicted! This is why we dont fault any one for not wanting to "step through that door" so to speak. We suggest to any one that they open that door very, very slowly and even walk away for a bit before entering fully.
ABCMAN: You hit the nail directly on the head... from our experiences, social conditioning is extremely difficult for most people to overcome.
Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - Don't underestimate the power of the internet and social media to disseminate information (especially information considered salacious by most of the world) VERY quickly. All it would take would be one pissed off swinger who didn't get laid or something to lash out by telling everyone the dirty little secret. [em]Emo_84[/em]
And personally we don't find it very inhibiting to walk into a bar or a restaurant and not be able to tell immediately who is and isn't a swinger. It would be interesting to poll people and ask them if they would be likely to wear a black ring on their right hand in otherwise vanilla situations to be able to be identified by and to identify others as swingers. We'll start. We wouldn't do it. We enjoy the fact that our little hobby is known just to us and a few friends. It's our naughty little secret. We wouldn't advertise our vanilla sex life to friends and family so why would we want to do it as swingers? JOHO
seniors - why is it so difficult to find senior swingers or single ladies? - I am 52, and considered a senior or close to it, and i have had more pus----y than a lot of these kids who think they are all that. I have my memories of the 20year olds I have been with and they remember me too. though they are now 40. Age isnt that important.I dont feel insulted by the discussion at all.
NewOrleans Clubs - Colette or Jasmine? - This post is great timing for us, we will be there next month! We might just have to check out Colette's! It's too bad we don't have a swingers club here in Utah! ;)
Younger LS meet-up? - - Sorry single guys, we really envisioned the group for couples/single women only.
For interested 20s-30s couples/single women out there: there's a Swingular group called "Millennial Swingers" - apply to join and once there's quorum I'll set up a Kik :).
Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - "Well regardless of what some folks say, age is a determining factor, especially when you reach the, "remind me of my dad" attitude, or even "you could be my grandfather""
So, what advice would hand those that are told they remind other couples of their kids?
Youth seems to be as much of a stumbling block from what I have observed as agedness.
Singles who are married and cheating - - JenandBrandon: Spot on! If you can't discuss this with your spouse, 1 Don't do it! or 2 End it and move on! Don't drag them down into the gutter of lies deceit and broken trust.
Blueeysinutah: You are honest, and discrete. You're right your kids don't need to see this. But the fact that you are honest with your husband, whether he agrees with you or not (as you are separated and seeking dissolution of your marriage) shows the kind of integrity, so quickly evaporating from our larger society, that is to be commended.
T4REAL69: If you mean to imply that having open sexual relations with others means that as swingers we have no right to define any morals, there are plenty of places in which you may live in your sainted paradise. In our experience the greatest thing we have found among REAL swingers is integrity. This is one of the greatest and most anciently recognized virtues. Without that societies based on social contract of any kind will revert to total lawless brutality. The concept of "The Rule of Law" is a social contract, and has no hold where integrity is absent.
As for our part, we do take self proclaimed singles at their word with the honor system. We appreciate the honesty of those who do tell us about their situation, and decline any opportunities to play with them, as we don't need any of that kind of drama (buckshot anyone?) Even for those who are in the lifestyle and have a "hall pass" we will make a best effort to confirm with all parties that it is ok before we do any play. We do not feel it our place to "out" anyone whom we have discovered as a cheater, as this is something between them, with whomever they are espoused, and with whomever they are involved. If push comes to shove, we will however not hesitate to "throw them under the bus."
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