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Translating Personals/Swingers Ads - - HOW TO TRANSLATE PERSONAL ADS:
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish...................................49
Adventurer...........................Slept with all your friends
Athletic................................No boobs
Average looking...................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..............................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure...............Medicated
Feminist...............................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit............................Junkie
Friendship first.....................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle..................................Comatose
Good Listener......................Borderline Autistic
New-Age............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......................Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing..............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.....................................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..........................Certified Bitch
Redhead...............................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque........................Grossly Fat
Romantic..............................Looks better by candle light
Social...................................Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous...........................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional....Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...................Stalker
Widow.................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. ....................Old bat
--------
MEN'S ADS
40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking......................Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit..............................Banging your sister
Friendship first.......................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun........................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.........................Arrogant
Very good looking..................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Pathological Liar
Huggable................................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle.......................Insecure mama's boy
Mature...................................Older than your father
Open-minded.........................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive.................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.........................Gay
Spiritual..................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.....................................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful...............................Says "Excuse me" when he farts
To whom it may concern,
I think we swingers have no right to make moral judgments. After all, we are not following what the majority of our society deems morally sound. I do not agree with cheating either, but who am I to judge. All of you may not agree with me. I'll bet my life that many of your families, friends, employers and churches would not agree with your lifestyle choices. Who are we to judge?
Think of it this way. It's a given that many of you partake in the marijuana plant. This is a violation of criminal and moral law. Yet many many people here proudly boasted this fact in the D&D forum. So much so, that they mistook my posts as anti-marijuana, when I said that I didn't want it around me because of my occupation (military). I highly doubt that if Rob were to post a link to a Caf
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - yeah and im an asshole lol..
i like them young dumb & full of cum..
oh ,,an easy
Alton
Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - We would really love to join...
Question - do you talk about other swingers? - After giving this question alot of thought and consideration, we have come to the conclusion that first it might be very helpful to meet someone. Then after meeting you might have something or someone to talk about. As soon as we have our first experience, we might find ourselves more qualified to give an answer. Hopefully that will happen before we are great grandparents.. (LOL) JK.
Swinger & 🦄 Bait - An experiment to attract swingers and unicorns. - Glad people like the post...sometimes these forums (okay most of the time...) are so boring. We all need a little levity. Plus there are so many quirky funny things about the LS. We are trying to have more fun with it and even poke fun at ourselves. We are also trying to get a good following of LS folks on Instagram so we can start sharing fun things to do you n the SLC area and hopefully create some informal weekend gatherings at local clubs and stuff. Follow us on Insta @edm.lyfe. It’s a private account not but as long as you aren’t our family or friends with our family we will accept your request to follow us.
swingers dvds - - Nina hartly has some about getting into the lifestyle; Nina Hartley's Guide to swinging, and I think there is another about swinging by her as well..
Swinging in the USA Available thru A&E
Avg. Rating: What does Avg. Rating mean?
Director: Luc Wylder
See real couples encourage their lovers to try GROUP SEX! In this authentic Swingers video, Carmen Luvana teaches curious couples how to be pornstars! She kicks things off with a 12-person orgy. Girls get screwed, men get sucked, pretty pussies squirt and firm asses open till everybody cums! Every scene is loaded with group sex, attractive amateurs and more swinging than a playground. 103 X-rated minutes.
Sin in the Suburbs / The Swap and How They Make It. The disc itself was just released last year. However, it seems that the original two movies on this disc were released in the 1960's or 1970's.
Here are a few more with the site listed and links..
A Swingin' Affair, <http://somethingweird.com/3054.htm>
All Around Service, <http://somethingweird.com/3572.htm>
Bang! Bang! The Mafia Gang, <http://somethingweird.com/3038.htm>
The Bedroom, <http://somethingweird.com/3540.htm>
Caged Women, <http://somethingweird.com/3564.htm>
Campus Swingers, <http://somethingweird.com/3545.htm>
Joking around with the wife - - I told him I would put a pineapple and if he removed it, I would put it again but upside down lol he actually liked it but it was bare so I added a little depth of a fallen pineapple.... mostly for fun, not necessarily to post a huge "we are swingers" sign.
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - [quote=BIGREID8]I want it SOOOOO bad. My husband finally agreed and changed our profile to him being bi comfortable so people know he will do that. I CAN"T wait to have two cocks inside my pussy ;-)[/quote]We would be glad to assist you with this
Too Young? - Are we just too young... - I would love to swing with an older couple or younger couple. There are just a lack of swingers in my immediate area.
