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Sexy Soft Swappers - Looking for like-minded friends for hanging out and house parties - Hi all - Apologies for the slow response on this, we dropped our initial message in this forum and then the holiday craziness hit, and it has taken us a bit to get back to getting this rolling. We also had so many responses here, and sent to us in person, that gave us a lot more things to think about in creating this sort of group.
We are glad to see so many other groups be formed because of this thread, and we have been working with Nakedcouple5150 (Jonsie) above to try and figure out the next best steps. Jonsie is 1000% times more organized than us and has really spearheaded getting all the requests together into some sort of manageable form for us to start creating groups and adding people to them.
We immediately ran into a few things though:
1 - we have well over 130 requests to be in the initially proposed Kik group, and Kik only accommodates 50 per group. Could we use Swingular or another app to include everyone? Sure - But, we specifically wanted to hold this in Kik, so that is what we have done and will continue to admin. I think there are several folks who have set up other groups via Swingular or other apps because of this thread, and I encourage you to hit them up if you'd like to join one of those that accommodates more than 50 users.
2 - We started this thread so that "soft" swingers who often feel pressured in the larger events or groups would have a space where they felt expectations were already clear, but, of course, there are various levels of what many of us consider "Soft."
So......
What we have done is decide create a few different groups to accommodate the requests and also to try and group like-minded, and geographically relative, people together. When either Jonsie or I send you an invite we will ask you to rate your level of "Softness" on a scale of 1-3, using these definitions:
[b]"1: enjoy soft only 90-100% of the time (kissing, touching, rubbing, light fingering, no oral with anyone but your partner, no intercourse with anyone but your partner)Expect not to be pressured or invited to partake in oral or intercourse partner swapping in the Kik group or at events organized via the Kik group.
2: soft 50-90% of the time (kissing, touching, rubbing, fingering, oral, no intercourse with anyone but your partner) Expect not to be pressured or invited to partake in any partner swapping in the Kik group or at events organized via the Kik group.
3: soft 10%-50% of the time and okay with swapping intercourse [/b]
Using your response, we will try and put you into the group or groups that fit you best.
If you want to save us some time, you can also use this Google Sheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1UfKua5zp4tWWcC3OSKQqt2S5lKhm8M9nI4elWrK3EzI/edit?usp=sharing to fill out your preferences. Just remember that if you use this, people may be able to see your email address in the "shared to/accessed to" list.
Obviously, no approach to organizing all of this is perfect, and if you aren't down with how we have chosen to try and tackle it, we definitely encourage you to start your own groups/threads.
Thanks to all you sexy softies for your interest and patience :)
Weeding through the real/ fakes - I wish there was a "validation " on profiles.. - [quote=sugarhouse2]PolyCouple, I think you're pointing to a cultural gap that we've also been frustrated with for years. We fall more into the independently open category, which puts us closer to the poly-lite and kink communities than the swinger community. We've found that a lot of swingers have the men negotiate the process and that's a huge turn off for us so we end up considering it a red flag in terms of what we're looking for. No judgement, it just clearly wouldn't work with our dynamic. We're free to talk to and do whatever we want with whomever we want. And we do. It's just different. But, in general, only hearing from the man does also make it hard to figure out if you're talking to a real couple or if there's true enthusiastic consent involved on all sides. Especially with so much catfishing going on over on other apps. Maybe the site could have badges or tags that filter searches.[/quote]
That might be it. We go out with a lot of couple and play with few. Once we have met for dinner, we're all involved in texting, etc. Prior to that - its been my responsibility (the male half) to set up the dates and coordinate the logistics while keeping her in the loop. It works for us. We generally won't give out our real phone numbers until we have something set up - at which point we generally create a group text to make sure everyone is 'looped' in.
At the end of the day - what we learn from this topic is that everyone's approach is different. We haven't had anyone flake out yet - YMMV. Good luck sexy peeps!
Staypineapple?!?! - - [quote=Utahldscouple]We are as well. It has pineapple decor everywhere. Wondering if they are marketing to swingers without directly marketing. We have kids with us otherwise we would try ๐![/quote]
Your still a bad influence. ๐๐
What is up with Utah?! - Swingers in Utah and nowhere else? - We are gonna have to make our way to Utah....Close to Vegas so we figure why not.
If you swing while living in UT, you maybe gamble too and we may get lucky on a trip! Have some very cool friends from there! You guys ROCK!
International Swingers Day - How are you celebrating? - Hopefully finding a bi-guy or bi-couple to spend the day with
Pineapple or upside down pineapple - - Pineapples are definitely a swinger thing! I think itโs somewhat locational where different symbols mean different things. I was in a group for swingers out in like mid-west, they all knew the pineapple was a sign for swinging. Especially if the wife wore like a pineapple anklet or jewelry. Another friend of mine in Colorado belongs to s swingers group called pineapple mixup!
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - SAGITTARIUS
Poly-Swingers - Moving beyond FWB relationship - No experience. But every relationship is a throw of the dice. If every one is happy with the arrangement, what is the problem. Don't ask the legal aspects.
Does that couple swing? - - We often see couples in public that are very attractive and flirtatious and always wonder, โdo you think they are swingers/would be open to swinging?โ
We donโt think it would be very tactful to just walk up randomly and ask โhey do you fuck other people too?โ but are always curious how they would react if approached and asked about it. The adventurous side of us would love to have something organic like that lead to some fun experiences.
Has anyone had an experience like that or actually started swinging because another couple approached you with the idea of swinging?
Wishbones - - We were invited to a meet and greet awhile back and hung around the lounge for several hours waiting for the couple who invited us. We found out later that most of the couples at the club were swingers, but as it was not a swinger's club, we were hesitant to approach perfect strangers and ask if they were swingers. Getting a black eye or broken teeth is not our idea of a good time! A symbol of swingularity (lol) would have been useful in this situation.
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