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How long did it take to convince ? - - We talked about the fantasy of being in the lifestyle together before we started it. As said before, fantasy and reality are two different things. We weren't ready for a date with another couple yet because we were afraid of expectations or problems arising from things that we hadn't thought about. So, we thought going to a swingers club might be a good way to learn about it. There are no expectations and we could ask advice from others.
But, we were so paranoid about running into someone we knew at a club here in Vegas, where we live. So, we decided to check out the possibilities out of state. lol. We went to Sea Mountain Inn in Palm Springs. It was the first time we were both completely nude in front of others. That was a great beginning as we quickly realized that no one was staring at us. We actually became very comfortable quickly. We did notice a lot of sexual activity. But again, that activity seemed normal to everyone there. We met a lot of great people who were willing to give us friendly advice. We commented how everyone seemed so normal. Even though we went with no expectations, we were given an opportunity to be with another couple, who had a nice "no Pressure" style. Privately, my wife and I discussed our boundaries or any other concerns. After we worked it all out, we agreed to play with the couple and loved it! Ten years later, we are so glad we joined the lifestyle.
So maybe, you should try coming to Vegas and go to a swingers club. Check out the scene, talk to some people, and form your own opinions. The club will be as tame or as wild as you want it to be.
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - We have this very thing and it is amazing!
J&J
Swingers clubs in Amsterdam - - The best club I've been to in that area is called Fun 4 Two. It's huge. The facilities are upscale European, hidden inside a rural setting. The hot tub seats about 20 comfortably & is comparable to genuine Roman baths that I've seen in Italy. The food is pretty good. The play rooms are varied & numerous. The place is well kept. Parking is safe. The neighborhood is good. The overnight accommodations are limited in number, but excellent. The clientele was about 50% Dutch, 20% German, 10% French & 20% other. I was probably the only American there. English was spoken by about 80% of the people there, when needed. I think that the drive was roughly 45 minutes from downtown Amsterdam if you don't get lost. Bring a GPS if you go. They have different themes on different weekends & I think that new applicants are only allowed 3 of the 4 weekends per month. Check their website for details. The first time I was there, the place was an absolute blast. The last time, it had become a little more edgy, but was still very good. The owners/hosts (Laurens & Renika) are good people. Deal with them directly whenever possible. Try to arrive properly dressed. If you need to buy things from their in-house shop to make dress code at the last minute, it can get expensive.
I also went to another club in Amsterdam proper that was said to be a swing club. It was actually a brothel inside a bar. I didn't stay to play.
There is a club there called Fatima Morgana that sounded promising, but I have not had time to try it yet. Another place called Kasteel Waterloo was recommended to me & sounds very promising, but I have not been there yet either. That place is probably a much longer drive.
In Amsterdam, there are at least 3 classifications of sex clubs. The actual swingers clubs are called parren clubs.
If you need help finding accommodations, transportation, or any of the other usual types of travel assistance, you can go to the tourist office, marked VVV, but pronounced "fee fee fee". One is located in Schipol airport. Another is located at the train station in Amsterdam. The people there were very helpful & found us very good deals on everything that we needed.
Please let me know if you need more information. I travel to Europe often & know my way around fairly well.
Public or Private party venues - What's the definition - We agree completely!
One thing we remind our self is that these are public events. They are advertised not solely to swingers or lifestyle groups. They can be found on facebook and other public sites.
We love these big events and will still attend some of them, however if you are looking for private we would suggest you stick to house parties.
Fun places you have had sex.. in public. - - my own bed because this damn swingers are always using our house as a damn frat house on most weekends
Motivational Posters - Various funny motivational posters - Swingers
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - We get so many comments from our vanilla friends that we have the best relationship and happiest marriage they have ever seen. In fact, we have had total strangers observing us come up and say to me that they wish their spouse were like mr chastity, as loving and devoted to me as he clearly is. If only they knew that our big secret to a loving, happy, long lasting relationship is open communication, absolute honesty, and no jelousy; pretty much the stuff the sums up the lifestyle for those that start with a strong relationship and go into it together for fun and not as a last ditch effort to save a sinking ship.
Honesty? Really? - Posers/Liars - Oh my...SUCH paranoia!
Does not everyone wish to advertise themselves in the best and most attractive way possible (at least MOST)?
Is it truly THAT hard to give the benefit of the doubt?
Personally, my experience has been that NOT everyone is out to lie, or even malicisouly mislead others who may peruse their profiles.
Seriously people, it's not some grand conspiracy against those who may consider themselves "above par" from the common swinger-folk.
Even those that might come across as being the most critical of others, and who consider themselves the "creme de la creme" of the Swinging community, are not immune to even the smallest of imperfections.
It is unfortunate that many that are the quickest to point out "flaws" in others...would seemingly have plenty of "flaws" themselves, in the eyes of onlookers of course (beauty/non-beauty will always remain in the eye of the beholder).
NOBODY is without these so-called "flaws".
Here are just a few examples of what I have personally witnessed being balked at AND often possessed by those that balk, during the course of my journey in swinging....
-Stretchmarks (gained perhaps through puberty, pregnancy, breast-feeding, working out, weight gain, etc.)
-Moles
-Asymmetrical bodies (so-called perfect symmetry does NOT occur naturally, not even surgically is it possible)
-Skin blemishes
-Errant hairs growing unknown on unseen parts of the body
-Birthmarks
-Skin discolorations
-Premature aging of the hands and neck areas
-Unsightly cuticles and/or nailbeds
-Man-hands (on women)
-Feminine hands (on men)
-Hobbitesque feet
-Cankles
-Crooked smiles
-Yellow teeth
-Green teeth
-Unattractive gums (gingivitis)
-Crooked teeth
-Unsightly gaps in the teeth
-Psoriasis
-Eczema
-Dimples (yes...in perhaps all four cheeks)
-Cottage cheese (yes...virtually everyone manifests this when sitting, squatting etc. to some extent, perhaps unknown the them. Sorry, it's just the nature of fat; even the leanest of people have a thin layer of fat that can pucker in the right position)
-Inverted nipples
-Crow's feet
-Spider veins
-Varicosities
-Breasts that have lost the battle with gravity
-Poor breast augmentation
-Beer bellies
-Love handles
-Double chins
-Halitosis
-Funky body chemistry manifesting as an unpleasant odor
-Smegma
-Dandruff
-Obesity
-Over weight
-Under weight
-Too many bony prominences
Ok...I think that's fairly comprehensive and you get my point.
Obviously, Swingular is not going to put a categorized "yes/no" checklist as comprehensive as this...even though the most discriminate of Swingers may expect it.
There are many different ways to be unique AND "attractive" (and of course "unattractive" as well).
Basic Psychology might suggest that the way that we view others, whether we find beauty or ugliness, is simply a reflection of how we feel and what we view ourselves to be, and of course, speaks clearly to our relationship with ourselves.
Honesty is a completely subjective phenomenon, and those that share honestly about themselves may be viewed as being dishonest by those who are expecting or fearing to be mislead.
Please don't think for a moment that I am pointing out what I either like or dislike; many of these I actually adore and find quite charming.
Personally, I think it's the uniqueness of everyone's body and body habituses that add to the overall attraction and uniqueness of every individual.
Finally, please don't consider this a personal attack on the originators of this thread, or any of those who have shared their personal tastes in partners thus far. All are entitled to their opinions.
Peace....
~J
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - "Ya know.. you are so "FUCKING STUPID" and in my opinion a fucking coward, asshole, moron, scumbag,racist sexist pig fucking ,deserting, lowlife worthless piece of shit.."
Uh, you don't even know me. LOL!
"Wow so that's what it feels like to be on your mentality level? And I use the word kindley.
And once again asshole, you proved my point! You are so uneducated and have no self worth that you must attack personally."
Kindley??? Oh you mean Kindly!
"Seems I read someplace.. now I am not saying this is true, that such anger could be THE SIGNS OF A CHILD ABUSER AND WIFE BEATER..or a victim of abuse..,can't remember where I read that. Remember you told me in previous post.. old.. fat..no memory. "
Wow, thanks for that Doctor Phil.
""YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A CLUE WHEN YOU ARE BEING BAITED.
YOU ARE NO FUN ANYMORE.
I don't like you any more. "
I knew you were addressing me dummy. LOL! It's you that was baited, you that got personal with me. HAHAHAHA! Oh, and I never liked you.
;-)
-D-
P.S.
Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? -
Don said...
We view the lifestyle as a multifaceted creature. The sex part being a benefit. In order for a person to want to have sex, they have to be attracted to the other person in some way shape or form.
For some, age is an issue. Should we fault them?? I think not. Just as we've discussed in other threads about D&D, Smoking, Sexual Practices etc. The list is long. I think this has to do with preference. Are some people picky yes. Don't let their decision hamper your good time. There are many couples that this is an issue. Most people's taste doesn't change because someone complains. I say move on.
We don't have an issue with age so much as we do attitude and personality. As some of you well know, I (Don) am very opinionated and love to say what's on my mind. Some don't like that. Some thing I am a prick. For those of you that think that...
Anyway, as we say in the Army, suck up and drive on. Don't let rejections rule your outlook, let your successes. Good luck.
