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OK LETS BE HONEST - - We got into the lifestyle because my wife was bi but didn't want to admit it to herself. Raised Catholic and it would be a mortal sin?????? All she had to do was see a woman naked and she got totally wet... I was aware of this for years but she insisted not.. We started going to a club to the socials and she loosened up slowly. At some point one of the women took her to her room and they got it on.. Then she went with another women and got it on another time... I didn't care that I wasn't there because it was for her not for me anyway. So now we are in the lifestyle at her whim... It was never about me in the first place... The lifestyle has made her more open to herself and freer, more able to talk about sexual things.
In the 9 or so years that we've been in the lifestyle I learned that while many times men get their wives into the lifestyle it is the wives that keep them in the lifestyle. Further, women completely control the lifestyle. It's kind of like the old expression; "If a man says he's boss at home, I wonder what else he lies about". The lifestyle is much like that. From discussions with other swingers I find that just a many wives get their husbands involved in the lifestyle as mwn do. I don't know about other places like UT or CO or TX but in NC, SC, VA, and many in FL the women rule the lifestyle and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Ladies, please let everyone know who rules... and it's not pork fat, as one TV chef says...
Swinging parties - Ice breaker/sex games - Check out these games.
https://www.gameoflifestyle.com/
https://www.devierboutique.com/deviate-dare-swingers-edition-erotic-card-games-ice-breaker-combo-pack/
We're going to SEMA! - Gonna be in Las Vegas for the weekend. Sexy swingers?? - We'd love to meet some sexy people/couples who live there. Maybe show us around.
Help With Wife - Wife has fantasies but is super hesitant to experiment. - [quote=EVILDOERS]Personally I think you might be a little too eager (can't blame you, we all were when we started) and pushing just a little too hard to make her fantasy a reality. Rather than trying to find a way to get around the "Catch 22" of her fantasy maybe just explore it more verbally and see if it evolves into some kind of scenario that she is comfortable with that more easily can happen in the real world.
The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for.
You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies.
Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck!
edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee. [em]Emo_79[/em] [/quote]
Damnit! Evildoers is right again!
Swingers Club - Swingers Club - Looking to visit a swingers club for the first time? The closest to utah that can be consider a great experience is the scarlet ranch in Denver. Look it up. It is worth the trip.
I am Getting Fed Up With The Way This Site Doesn't Work - - Best thing about swinger sites is guess what "swingers" this is about meeting like minded people. Get over the techy glitches, get out there and F(*& someone. I promise you will feel better.
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - I am new to the swinging party, however a fantasy not yet fullfilled and not finding many people that seem intrested in it, I was just wanting to know how many of the swinging ladies are actually intrested in double penetration by two guys at the same time.
Do your friends and family know about your lifestyle? - - Our 23 year old daughter figured it out, when our son kept telling her we were going to some convention here in town....she looked to see what conventions were in Vegas that week and put two and two together. We also have friends who arent swingers that know.
We dont mind telling people but we're selective about who we mention it openly to, just because some people just dont get it.
Curious Question - - The reason this website has so many swingers in Utah is probably because it is based here and Rob does a great job of getting people here interested in the lifestyle and this awesome website.
can we swing and still not be in sin ? - - For what it's worth here is my 2 cents on the subject.
I agree with Don on what he said earlier in this thread. The entire concept of sin was created by the religious leaders as a form of control. Every organized religion serves 3 primary purposes; 1) to explain the why's and how's of creation, 2) to give a foundation of how to live, 3) to give comfort about death. From the beginning of time religious leaders have used the power of religion as a means of controlling the masses to do what the leaders wanted or at least thought was best.
Judao-Christian and Islamic religions went a step farther and created the concept of sin as a method of control. They created a list of commandments and declared that to violate these was to be in sin. Some sins were of greater import than others but it all equalled to the same thing, commit too many or even one of the wrong ones and you would be barred from from enjoyment and peace offered in the afterlife.
So to answer the original question here, Can you swing and not be in Sin? Absolutely you can. Sin cannot exist seperate of heavily regulated and controlled organized religion. Since Religion itself is a fabrication of man, then so Sin is also a fabrication. I don't know too many swingers that particularly care for anyone else telling them what to do, how to do it, or whom they can do it with, regardless of the area of their life. Especially when it comes to their sex life.
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