Valley City Swingers in North_dakota

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Do your friends and family know about your lifestyle? - - Here is our view..... Our sex life is private, what we choose to do within our sex lives is private also. We choose not to tell our family members because it is just none of their beez wax, it is personal, and private to us. Most ppl wouldn't understand it especially my family. Stitch's family, well....they probably wouldn't be shocked to hear it, but we still don't wanna share with them. We do have vanilla friends (not many though, we aren't social butterflies, we only make friends with swingers....lol) but we don't share with them our choice to swing. It's just a personal choice we have not to share. It isnt that we are ashamed or that we think this lifestyle is something to be ashamed of......we just think it is something best left between us. Just as what we do together in our own bedroom is private and personal so is our choice to swing. We are good friends with the ppl we work with, but they are all on a needta know basis, and they just don't needta know any of it. Our kids are to young right now, but as they get older we will just haveta be more careful. We dont' want them knowing about it either. There again, it just comes back to....I wouldn't share with my kids what dad and I did in our bedroom the night b4, so why would I share with them about our choice to swing. It is private and between us as a married couple.

San Diego Swing clubs - - We are headed for San Diego in a few weeks and are looking for some good swingers clubs. Does anyone have any suggestions???

Frustration with Friend Requests - - [quote=EVILDOERS]The underlying problem is the "we're swingers, you're swingers" mindset. We've been around the scene for a long time and met many many people who don't understand why we won't just fuck them...afterall, they're swingers and we're swingers...so let's just fuck already. This "hobby" is for fantasy fulfillment. If you aren't at least a little bit attracted to someone for any reason then what the hell is the point of fucking them? Especially when most of us can stay home and have WAY better sex with someone we love. [/quote] Exactly!!! Couldn't put it better myself!!

Single Males - - [quote=CTA313][quote=EVILDOERS] ...get a girl to join you....Not only do you now "bring more to the table", but you have the added credibility that if you can find and finesse a girl into joining you in this little adventure we call swinging (whether it be a girlfriend, a wife, a second cousin twice removed, or just a hot fwb) you might just not be a giant douchecopter.[/quote] Ignoring the need to "finesse" someone and unhealthy gender stereotypes in general, this line of reasoning is a little troubling as it presumes that a male's company is inherently worth less. Or that an absence of semi-romantic relationships somehow speaks poorly of his character. I personally think approaching someone whom you aren't already fairly close with and soliciting to go to a swingers party is a bit out of line. Especially if her company is sought as an accessory to demonstrate to others that he is not, as you say, “a douchecopter”. Call me old-fashioned. [quote=EVILDOERS] I know we can't be the only people who secretly wonder just a little bit about some single guys and why they aren't with somebody. Do they secretly hate women (yes, we've met some that actually do), are they just too lazy (or busy, maybe...but hey, we're all busy) to find someone, are they serial killers and/or just not very nice guys? [/quote] Oh, I hope you are! That's a really unfortunate outlook to have. Promising relationships take time to find, let alone build to the requisite amount of trust and stability to try things like this. In the mean time, I don't see anything wrong with someone pursuing their interests while still holding out for someone worthy of their emotional investment. To me, that behavior is quite attractive should be respected! It doesn't get any better than someone who is confident, self-actualized, and motivated to pursue their desires. Sadly, it sounds their gender influences whether this is seen as a desirable trait. I'm not sure how long you've been out of things (30 years?), but it's easy to forget the struggle when you're comfortable in a marriage. Things are more fluid. People don't feel the need to settle down like they used to. [quote=EVILDOERS]I know many will say they've tried and swinging is a deal breaker for most women. After almost 3 decades in the swinging trenches meeting and talking to other people, both couples and singles, we would disagree....many, if not most, women could eventually come around to the idea of swinging once they feel safe and secure in a relationship.[/quote] This is just confirmation bias if the evidence comes from a sample of people you have met while swinging. [quote=EVILDOERS]...those of us who DID put in all the blood, sweat, and tears into a relationship and allow it to grow to the point of daring (don't think for a second we aren't risking a LOT in opening up our relationships to other people!) to allow others access to our significant other sometimes wonder why some others want to take a shortcut to all the sweet swinging bennies with little or no risk on their own part.[/quote] If you're not comfortable sharing your wife with someone you might view as a potential competition, you definitely don't have to. On the other hand, there are a lot of people enjoy it :) This smacks of the old “you must suffer as I did” chestnut. [/quote] Yes, I agree, "finesse" was a poor choice of words. In my defense, I was at work and rather in a hurry to make a point...that apparently I didn't make well (and my attempts to also be humorous apparently fell flat too). Rereading my post it does smack a little of mild gender bias but I can assure you that it wasn't my intent in any way and most certainly is not my outlook on women, relationships or life in general. My intent was simply to advocate approaching swinging as a mutually desirable activity that two partners desire and share equally in. And not that it matters, but I've shared my wife with probably over a hundred men, married and single, and I've never thought of any of them as competition. But I never thought of swinging as "sharing" my wife either, but instead as her deciding to be sexual with another person and me being totally okay with her decision to do so. Sharing her, to me, almost denotes some sort of ownership or at very least some kind of permission that I would have to give. Both those ideas are not a part of our relationship. Perhaps the concept of "competition" in swinging interactions is a single male attitude? I don't know. And I didn't mean it in any way, shape, or form as a "you must suffer as I did" trope but simply as the idea that we invested a LOT of hard work and time making our marriage what it is and together deciding to risk opening it up to the excitement and also the possibility of harm that is swinging. I think, perhaps, that sometimes single people in the lifestyle don't quite understand the very real possibility of permanent damage (or worse) to the relationship that couples who swing are flirting with. For many (most?) of us, our marriages/relationships are THE most precious thing we have. What, if anything, are you risking? A bruised ego?

How to find other swingers - - Luvbugs wrote: > > Rumor has it that they congregate together in large online groups where they > share pictures, stories, and sometimes...even get together for crazy group sex. Are you SERIOUS? You mean people actually DO that? Must be those damn people from that KSL bit doing their nefarious recruiting... Who woulda thunk it? ;)

Party Group for Non-Redheads - Wouldn't such a group without such flaws be great? - {Warning...this is a goofy parody, not to be taken seriously!!! Warning for the seriousness police!! We've been in this lifestyle awhile, have attended some parties and would like to throw a question out there for debate. Not to get anyone's panties all in a wad by golly, just as a debate of general interest. Yeah, a debate for fun. I like to party with only those folks that I find extremely attractive--you know, those folks that look like me. To that end, I was wondering what you folks thought about starting a group where only non-redheads are invited? Mind you, I've nothing against those redheaded swingers out there, I'm sure they're fine folks. It's just that I find tanned bodies to be much healthier appearing and, lets be honest, redheads don't tan -- they burn. And when we have beach parties it really pains me to see all these redheads slathering on tanning solution yet still burning. Ouch, I can just do without that vision. I feel bad for them, I have great sympathy for their condition. Plus, redheads tend to have lots of freckles. I'm sure that SOME people find freckles to be attractive, just not me. There's nothing wrong with freckles though, I guess. What do you all think? Should we create such a party group to exclude these freckled folk so that we don't all have to play Rorschach games trying to decipher if all those freckles connected represent anything? Oh sure, I could have just created a group or a party event and simply stated my preferences and given information as to how to join my group or party and how to prove to me that you're not a redhead. I've every right to do that and, seeing that we all have our PERSONAL preferences, I believe most folks here would be very supportive of that. But I thought it'd be much more fun to have a public discussion as to the majorities feelings about the "redheaded" look and whether there was an overall agreement that such a non-redheaded party would be popular. NOT to belittle the redheads, mind you, just to have a frank and open discussion. Isn't that what this forum is for, to discuss peoples' physical features that they can't possibly change? Right here in public? Yeah, so don't be negative about my post here, OK? I'm just trying to start a constructive dialog. BTW, I don't mean strawberry blondes. I think those would be OK. As long as they can get a nice tan. Without freckles. I still haven't started my group yet, or announced a proposed party or time. I'm awaiting all of your input as to this great idea and what you yourselves think about these redheaded swinger folk. So post up your opinions so that I can decide whether I want to start this group or not! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - OK, I'm trying to be tongue-in-cheek here, so I'm already in trouble with the seriousness police. But is my approach here really all that different than what has seemed to be occurring on this board lately? I really have NO objection at all to folks personal preferences. None. We all have them. But for gosh sake, just create the booty call, the party event, the group or whatever. Place your preferences in your profile and on the event, group, or booty call description. Is a public debate as to the popularity of my physical features or your physical features really necessary? What is the REAL goal of even starting such a debate? Just make the group, create the party, state your personal preferences and interested folks will follow you and other folks will not feel belittled by a public debate about the merits of their "look." I think it is fantastic for us all to have as many different options available as possible. I LOVE variety! :) I just re-read this before I post. I hope the first part of it's taken in the goofy way that it's meant. :)

Swingers in Draper cause Super Dell to speed - - LOL - Good One! That explains everything! We knew that there was a reason he was driving like such a maniac! Very Funny Thanks for the laugh! Where do we get those concealed swinger permits? And we are still trying to find the recuiting office! lol ;) kisses

Black Rings - Do Swingers really? - We heard Garden Gnomes are a sign of swingers …. Hmm I wonder if any of our neighbors suspect anything hehe.

Vegas Jan 14-16 - Any sugestions on clubs or parties? - We were just in Vegas for the week of Dec 19 and I had asked around. I was referred to a new website specializing in \"what\'s going on around Vegas\" - specifically of the naughty variety. It is new, so I don\'t know how good it is, but it *seems* to have some \"inside scoop\". Take a look at: http://www.americanlowlife.com Meanwhile, I might share my list of \"50 things to do in Vegas\" - but they are mostly personal-level things like *) Shave each others\' genitals *) Go clothes shopping and take naughty photos in the dressing rooms *) Rent a Segway on the Strip *) Sneak around the hotel halls naked *) Enjoy the \"duelling piano\'s\" bar at Harrah\'s: Twin women pianists belting out all of the songs that the crowd loves singing along with *) Try \"Fusia\" at Luxor: \"Asian Fusion\" food: really-good food with a twist. Expensive, but a really-great culinary experience *) Stay away from MOST shows: they just aren\'t worth your time or money - particularly the \"titty shows\": It is ironic that Vegas has the reputation for \"naughty\" but the laws prevent full nudity anywhere in the city - so most of the shows are really tame - for swingers. We\'ve tried \"Skin Tight\" at Harrah\'s and \"Night Fantasy\"(?) at Luxor. They were... yawn. If you\'re going to go to any show - see if you can get half-price tickets the day of the show - there are now 4 or 5 half-price ticket booths around Vegas. Many shows are worth *half* the normal price. *) Drive out to Valley of Fire and run around the gorgeous, huge Red Rocks - naked - and take pictures of each other and make love. This time of year it will be *cold* - but that just means that you\'ll have it more to yourself. *) Dress up really sexy and go out just walking around: enjoy dressing as outrageously as you dare - see-thru, low-cut, etc - and just wander around - or even go gambling and see how many heads turn when you lean over the craps table to place your bets. OK. Again. I\'ve got a list of about 50 such things. If you\'re interested, ask me. Sigh. I DO love Vegas.

C- A - Any swingers clubs around Salt lake? - Eskiden vardı galiba hatta Kaş kalkan da gitmiştim ama kapatmışlar