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Discretion, the better part of valor - I love that saying - It's a tough one. Women will ALWAYS get more action here than men. Sex is theirs when it comes to power and control. The "you can only get as much as I can get" has never worked for us. But our situation is a little different in that I travel a ton for work so when I'm home I can't see spending what little time I have with someone else. And being on the road, I don't have time to get any action. So the equality in playing separate isn't there. As a result, Mrs. Sexperimentor doesn't play without me unless it's another woman. That's her choice and a bone thrown to equality, which I appreciate.
As for the issue of not playing because you're afraid you'll run into a playmate in your vanilla life... To me that's horse pucky. The person you run into will be at just as much risk as you of being "outed". You'll have a lot more in common than a whole lot of other people you meet. And if you have a little discretion about who you play with, you'll have similar attitudes on how to conduct yourselves in a vanilla situation. Actually, I don't think we have EVER, in all the years we've been doing this, just run into anyone we've played with. There are people we've known to be swingers but haven't played with that we've run into, one lady I run into frequently, but life in the lifestyle has never even been discussed in vanilla settings.
I hope this isn't your situation, but the last couple I knew that would play separately but not together, with a story told essentially the same way you told yours, didn't end well. She was more interested in having other romantic relationships than she was in maintaining her marriage. Frankly, while playing without my wife is fun, and we share the tales and details afterward, I'd really rather play as a couple. Our playing together has enhanced our relationship and that's what I'd encourage you to do.
Mr. Sexperimentors
Black Rings - Do Swingers really? - Problem is many vanilla couples have black rings as well because they think it’s new/cool.
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - Love the pic..
I Don't Care if You LIKE Me... Let's F**K! (???) - - We are not a "friends first" couple but the attraction has to be there personality-wise too. We totally agree about friendships in the lifestyle. We didn't enter it to make a bunch of new friends but wow, some of our best friends are swingers. What a great, unexpected benefit!
Most of the people we are friends with we have not fucked. For some the personality attraction is there, for others the physical... and we need both. We even have some friends that are physically attractive to us, have personalities that make us very good friends, yet the sexual chemistry just seems awkward for whatever reason.
Another odd observation of ours has been that a less physically attractive person becomes very attractive an fuckable with the right personality, but a very physically attractive person is sexually repulsive to us if they are an asshole.
We have probably slept with less than 10% of our close friends in the swing community. Everyone we did play with did not end up a friend but not because we didn't like them. Sometimes it's just a matter of not having time to build a relationship and friendship not being a pre-requisite for us.
I guess, long story short, for us to fuck you we need to like you, but just because we like you doesn't mean we will end up being friends... if any of that makes sense to anyone but us. lol.
-Glen
Swingers circle - Whats with them - We went to a Halloween party paid to get in and there was supposed to be alcohol and food, we got there 30min after it started and the bar was dry, with a promise of someone was on a run to get more but more never came.
Keeping safe - Single females staying safe - Terry,
That's all fine and good but you don't think that a guy might just SAY that in hopes of changing the girl's mind later? I'm not questioning your integrity or motives just saying that, in general, many guys will say and do just about anything for sex. I could easily imagine quite a few scenarios where a guy could come across with seemingly good intentions but have ulterior motives. Hell, we've had guys write us and ask to meet them and their wives (without disclosing that we're swingers) and suggest that we get the wife really drunk and then have sex with them. Again, I'm not saying anything about YOUR character or motives, just that because a guy SAYS he won't play with his "date" doesn't necessarily automatically make him trustworthy. YMMV
Evil
ps- We won't EVEN get into the subject of things like date rape drugs which by many accounts ARE being used in the swing scene by nefarious individuals. [em]Emo_8[/em]
Seeking mormon swingers - - Your comments are ignorant.
LDS Swingers Survey - Will any former/active LDS swingers take my survey? - There ya go.
Tooele swinging community - Tooele swingers - Looking to rekindle our group and try to make an active tooele swing community again. We've met plenty of swingers in tooele who are great people and even good friends and wed like to explore making our small area a bit more active with our swingers. We are planning some fun events done the road and would like to set up a hangout at least once a month starting with a meet and greet. Wed also like to make a private tooele group on kik possibly. But we'll see. If your in tooele please feel free to contact us if your interested.
Picky Picky - No not your nose - I'm picky, like probably a little bit unrealistically so. I figure I have the man of my dreams who is hung, smart, fun, charismatic and attractive. I shouldn't settle for less then total attraction. This should be true for all.
I realize I'm a old hand at this, been in and out (ha) of the lifestyle since 2011, and I've basically done all the things, but if you're with your perfect partner then my understanding is swinging is an enhancement to your sex life. Never settle for less (old swinger advice for the newer swingers) just to have a new partner/experience/taking one for the team.
What are your thoughts?
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