Moriarty Swingers in New_mexico

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Single Males - - [quote=EVILDOERS] ...get a girl to join you....Not only do you now "bring more to the table", but you have the added credibility that if you can find and finesse a girl into joining you in this little adventure we call swinging (whether it be a girlfriend, a wife, a second cousin twice removed, or just a hot fwb) you might just not be a giant douchecopter.[/quote] Ignoring the need to "finesse" someone and unhealthy gender stereotypes in general, this line of reasoning is a little troubling as it presumes that a male's company is inherently worth less. Or that an absence of semi-romantic relationships somehow speaks poorly of his character. I personally think approaching someone whom you aren't already fairly close with and soliciting to go to a swingers party is a bit out of line. Especially if her company is sought as an accessory to demonstrate to others that he is not, as you say, “a douchecopter”. Call me old-fashioned. [quote=EVILDOERS] I know we can't be the only people who secretly wonder just a little bit about some single guys and why they aren't with somebody. Do they secretly hate women (yes, we've met some that actually do), are they just too lazy (or busy, maybe...but hey, we're all busy) to find someone, are they serial killers and/or just not very nice guys? [/quote] Oh, I hope you are! That's a really unfortunate outlook to have. Promising relationships take time to find, let alone build to the requisite amount of trust and stability to try things like this. In the mean time, I don't see anything wrong with someone pursuing their interests while still holding out for someone worthy of their emotional investment. To me, that behavior is quite attractive should be respected! It doesn't get any better than someone who is confident, self-actualized, and motivated to pursue their desires. Sadly, it sounds their gender influences whether this is seen as a desirable trait. I'm not sure how long you've been out of things (30 years?), but it's easy to forget the struggle when you're comfortable in a marriage. Things are more fluid. People don't feel the need to settle down like they used to. [quote=EVILDOERS]I know many will say they've tried and swinging is a deal breaker for most women. After almost 3 decades in the swinging trenches meeting and talking to other people, both couples and singles, we would disagree....many, if not most, women could eventually come around to the idea of swinging once they feel safe and secure in a relationship.[/quote] This is just confirmation bias if the evidence comes from a sample of people you have met while swinging. [quote=EVILDOERS]...those of us who DID put in all the blood, sweat, and tears into a relationship and allow it to grow to the point of daring (don't think for a second we aren't risking a LOT in opening up our relationships to other people!) to allow others access to our significant other sometimes wonder why some others want to take a shortcut to all the sweet swinging bennies with little or no risk on their own part.[/quote] If you're not comfortable sharing your wife with someone you might view as a potential competition, you definitely don't have to. On the other hand, there are a lot of people enjoy it :) This smacks of the old “you must suffer as I did” chestnut.

Adulter or Swinger? - - Loving to dance at clubs and bars, Cyn and I frequently go out on weekends and are often met by a variety of friends. Over the years, we have accumulated a number of single females that enjoy dancing with us. One of these lovely gals enjoyed meeting attractive single men and would often end up spending the night with them. Not too long ago, somehow it was brought to her attention that Cyn and I were..... "swingers". She was furious with us and expressed her dissapproval in very clear terms. After she was through venting her feelings about how disguisting it was that we could possibley be involved in committing adultry, I took a moment to present to her a few select questions. First, she saw no wrong in spending an evening with another man in sex and carnal expressions of emotion? She responded that they were consenting adults and both single.. therefore committing no wrong to anyone. I asked if she felt it was wrong not to be monogamous with just one of these men rather than continually finding new friends to experience. Again, she responded she felt no wrong with what she was doing. Why then I asked, did she find fault with what Cyn and I were doing, as consenting adults and with full knowledge of what each was doing? She responded with the comment that "swinging" was just wrong and that as husband and wife we needed to be faithful to each other. So, I asked why it wasnt wrong for her to swing but it was for us. She retorted she WAS NOT a swinger. To that, I shared the following with her... according to every dictionary I can find, a swinger is defined as a person who engages in promiscuous sex, an adulter is a married person who has voluntary sex with another person to whom they are not lawfully married to. The realization of the fact that she was practicing swinging came as a shock. It took a few days to fully sink in, but when it finally did, she accepted us with open arms for what we are, (I guess adulters), and our friendship resumed. One very important item here to consider, too often the request to bring another single individual into our bedroom is presented with the excuse that the partner doesnt like sex anymore. The solution to their problem is to cheat... or in their mind... go swinging. In our book, these people are not swingers by definition, but cheaters. Its wrong and unfair to try to use the cloak of swinging to justify being unfaithful. Lifestyles and swinging is not a remedy to solve trouble at home. Often when we decline the request to involve people in our sexual activities for the reason their spouse is not aware or doesnt approve, we hear the rebuttle.."why not? you are swingers arent you?". What ever name we give it, people need to remember... this lifestyle is all based on a few key components. Trust, respect, and the terms YES and NO. Period. Cant we keep the labels, the slander, and the lies out of what we can find to be a productive, social, and even in many cases educational activity between honest, consenting, respectable adults?

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - You feel such a compulsion to return to the forum and bathe in hypocrisy, why? You wrote: "Why must you constantly mock people?" Just the assholes. -D-

Swingers of Color - - Were here and we are a mixed couple. I have seen more than just a few on here......

Swinger Bracelets - Swinger bracelets - Swinger bracelets Has anyone used these swinger bracelets or had any experience with them? They seem like a good idea for couples the travel!! People in the lifestyle have a way to recognize other swingers. With colors signifying your comfort level in swing activity. A great way of starting conversation or letting other couples know you

How Do you Find Out - Question about Friends - I disagree with CandJ. I have a buddy that I thought would be cool with it and since he has found out we are swingers he nearly never talks to me anymore. We are car guys and it takes something big to part those ways...

Northern Utah Party ... Damn It! - We WILL hunt you down ... - I know this is a long rambling post. I hope you'll humor me. My intentions are good! :) I'm completely un-associated with the party heretofore mentioned. Wow--that sounded like lawyer-speak! OK, so there's a party coming up on Saturday in the Ogden area. I'm pretty much an expert on it 'cause I don't know the hosts, don't know the venue, and have never been there. [em]Emo_59[/em] But I've been to the Draper area version and can tell you that it's very classy. We're goin, but we may not be your cup-o-tea. But looking at the guest list, there are some VERY sexy folks planning on being in attendance. Ask yourself, why aren't YOU on that list? Now I've heard, here-'bouts, that it's kinda difficult to meet up with swinger-type people on here (or elsewhere). I'd not disagree. Having said that, wouldn't it be a good idea to support those folks who organize such parties? And show up, so that they continue? So that even more venues/parties are available in the future? So that more like-minded couples appear before your very eyes at similar parties? [b]Reasons NOT to go to the party:[/b] [i]You're shy[/i]. Screw you, so am I, now get yer ass to this party so that we can be shy together. [em]Emo_12[/em] Seriously, I'm so goofy on here that people expect me to be some kind-a comic in-person. I ain't. I'm shy. The written word is more my forte'. I've got to push myself (and quiet hubby) in order to attend these things. We always have fun and always meet at least a few new people. And everyone attending this party has agreed not to be "clique-ish" and to push their comfort zone by introducing themselves to at least three other couples/groups that they don't know, and to invite those couples into their inner circle. OK, they really haven't promised that. But they will after they read this. Or I'll bring that riding crop that I bought for the "50 Shades" party and beat them senseless with it. [i]You're new to swinging[/i]. I can't think of a better way to ease into it. These are not all out everyone rip their clothes off orgy kinda things. Why not? 'Cause the prudes won't let me have my way, DAMN IT! Errr...skip that last sentence. Anyhoo, there's typically some darkened rooms where, sure enough, folks are "smooching". Smooching may be a slight understatement. But the voyeurs peek in, the exhibitionists go for it, and us in-between types do a bit of both. No pressure, the comfort level and level of participation is up to you. A GREAT introduction to the swing scene. [i]Too Expensive.[/i] Crawl outa yer freakin' cave, would ya? [em]Emo_79[/em] Here's seven letters for ya that explain it: "Open Bar." Of course there's ususally some light snacks as well. And like I said, if you go to the right room, NAKED PEOPLE. Yeah, I know, makes that last porno DVD you bought seem overpriced, doesn't it? And hell, for me personally, hubby doesn't drink, and if I hit more than three drinks I typically wake up flat on my back, naked, legs spread, wondering why the hell I'm feeling so sore "down there." [em]Emo_85[/em] So yeah, I keep it to 3 drinks or less, but still feel that we get our $25 bucks worth as a couple. [i]You're an overbearing, pushy, arrogant, obnoxious, azzhole.[/i] Yer right. You really should stay home and enjoy some "alone time". [b]Reasons to Cum to the Party[/b]: [i]Lets be honest here[/i]: Who DOESN'T like to Cum, right? [i]Swingers are NOT just gonna fall right into your lap[/i]. Unless you come to this party. Or I hit the four drinks previously mentioned. Then gently ease my legs back together, would ya? [i]Even if you might be shy, you can meat, errr..."Meet", potential folks[/i] that you might want to communicate or hang out with later. Even vicariously as you see the interactions among other folks, you may just find some folks you're interested in. [i]There are lots of nooks and crannys[/i]. It's my understanding that there are various nooks, crannies, bedrooms, sitting areas, etc where people may gather. It can actually be a more intimate type thing than you might expect, so if you ARE shy, it's not like you've got to "perform" before a huge audience. OK, sorry, end of rant. I just feel it's a bit like politics. If you don't fully participate, quit yer bitchin! I'm not even going to attempt to articulate the names of the various party hosts that provide for such gatherings and venues. We have a great appreciation for their time and efforts and for sticking their necks out to do it ... you are ALL awesome. :) Oh, and if you do cum? Say Hi, OK? If you find a wild-haired redhead humping on your leg like a 2 year old un-neutered Irish Setter? That'll be me. [em]Emo_54[/em]

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - AKLIM69, Look at the "who's online" button under the SEARCH/BROWSE tab. There are plenty of people online right now seeking single males. Granted they are the minority, but from my locale, the search brought a 20-30% return per page, for those seeking single males. Again, it's not up to you or I to dictate what it sexually acceptable for everyone else. If that were the case swinging should be outlawed because we sure as hell are not the majority compared to the rest of the country. -D-

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Posted By: KRISTYLYNN2002 Reply posted on: Jan 8, 2008 - 9:34 am we are all Racist in one way or another,, so if you say your not ,then the only one your fooling is yourself, we are all good at puting blame on someone else, Alton We are all prejudiced in one way or another. Racism, sexism, etc, etc are all forms of prejudice. If you say "Pit Bulls are a dangerous breed.", you are not guilty of racism. You are guilty of prejudice. However, prejudice against a breed of dog is seen as way more acceptable than a person, religion, etc, etc in the social setting. Few, if any will say much if I said that pit bulls, on the whole are a dangerous breed of dogs because we can see from the statistics that they tend to hurt more people than any other breed of dog. However, if I said that black people are a more dangerous breed of people because statistics show them to be more likely to be incarcerated than white people, look out. Why the difference? Prejudice against dogs is seen as more socially acceptable than prejudice against people. All we are doing is compartmentalizing the prejudice so we can make certain ones more acceptable than others. Is prejudice good? Well, ask the insurance companies. They categorize people based on many factors to be good or bad risks. Profiling is a form of prejudice. Whether it is acceptable or not depends on who you target it at.

Blind Requests and Fake Profiles - What's your experience with blind requests and fake profiles? - We met some blind swingers once. They found us very attractive!