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Looking for Advice - Recently coming back into the LS - [quote=Kinkycouple123]Hello!
So I just have a question.
We were in the LS about two years ago.. and since getting back into it, it seems like what we want is not as accepting ( or that we aren't actual swingers). We aren't a full swap couple and I feel like that hinders us from meeting new people and just getting out there.
While I enjoy watching my husband with other women, I have no desire to be with anyone other than my husband.
Is this weird? We have talked to a few couples who just question why were are in the LS at all. They have said that what we are looking for is a "tall order" or that "we aren't actual swingers" which I can understand to a point.. but isn't this site for people also looking to explore their sexuality in a safe place with no judgements?
I would love some feedback or advice if anyone else in a similar situation because at this point I don't feel welcome.
Thank You![/quote]
I think what you are "looking for" is not a surprise... you want a Unicorn... now, asking a couple to "loan" you their female half ( with nothing in return to the other male ) ... yeah, long shot on that for sure.
Good Luck in your search.
Serious questions from a newbie.. - - I read that the lack of drug use creates intelligent individuals to leave incredibly lengthy posts about the subject of drugs and their effect on Swingers and the general population!
Let's start a thread about secrets and techniques that increase the frequency and intensity of the male and female orgasm! Now that would be worthy of 4 pages and hundreds of paragraphs... LOL.
I'm just joking with you guys.. Compelling information and well thought out responses. Enjoy what's left of your weekend..
UtHot
Are you more or less tolerant? - - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]We think that in regards to your own appearance that you just cannot take the negativity that will be thrown your way too seriously. When we first formed this profile there was a group that threw parties that had a strict "undressed code" as to how you should look naked. A lot of people understandably got offended and there was a lot of banter and unfriendliness in the forums. We actually got several invitations, from some members of that group to join. We declined the invitations but we were surprised we were invited. For all the banter back and forth we would not have been welcome due to our age and or some sort of flaw in the body. Perhaps the exclusivity was the sell point and the members were more average than you would expect. Not that there is anything wrong with average. What the hell is average appearance anyway? Acceptance meant you were a notch above the rest in the eyes of the members as in the only true swingers. Does feeling sexy about yourself have to come at the expense of others? I do not know if that group still exist anymore. The founder fell in love and went monogamous last I knew. Well about that same time we submitted application as it were to join an older longer established group that puts together parties because we thought the parties looked like fun. About 60 days after our submission to join the group was sent we got back an e-mail declining our participation. We could get upset and lose time and joy wondering if we just were not sexy enough to be considered among the elite or we could just move on and know we were still going to find new and exciting people and adventures anyway. The real reasons for denial are only found within the person or persons that said no and if they have their reasons those same reasons do not make them bad people. I like to think that way at least. Mrs. Delicious just told me, as she was walking out the door to an appointment, that if they don't like her there must be something wrong with them. We can imagine until the cows come home and we will probably never guess right and it really does not matter anyway. I like to think the group, that told us no, is fun and is having fun but will just not know us. You cannot be part of everything anyway. The tendency for us to imagine that any group that might reject us is full of miserable losers that would not know sexy if it bit them is not good for us and the no was probably delivered with a lot less intolerance than we are imagining. I think we should concentrate on discovering more joy by fully focusing on the doors that are open to us. We are all going to get rejected from time to time and it might hurt but don't dwell on it. Opportunities to connect and to live and love surround us all.
[/quote]
Well written my friend and as a single male in this lifestyle this is something that needs to be preached and practiced
Moab Utah - Swingers in Moab - We go to Moab all the time! Would be great to meet up with another couple down there. :-)
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - EAGLE MOUNTAIN, Utah
Hello summer - Swingers couple party - Who said anything about an asset? What makes women's filters different than men? If I decide to identify as a female do I need to be sponsored? I'm asking because I'm sure more people would like to know. I have been to parties and I've seen both single males and couples get kicked out. Both sex's can be rowdy when alcohol and sex are involved. Are you talking about the aggressive instinctive behavior than men have? If so, there's a lot of guys there to put them in their place. I'm not a social bug and I'll sit in a corner and mind my own business and only talk when spoken to but thats my personality at any event.
Definitions! - Just in case you never wanted to ask. - A very useful page (pages) of Definitions relating to The Lifestyle...in case you saw something float across the screen and were too embarrassed to ask.
http://www.hrcouples.com/terms_def.htm
http://thelibertinewife.com/blog/the-sex-and-swingers-glossary/
Here's a few pertinent terms...heheheh.
SOFT SWINGING (Soft Swap) -A social, erotic swing party environment where sexual activity is common and available, but not required or assumed. Sometimes used to describe swapping up to, but not including intercourse.
FULL SWAP - A couple that enjoys sexual pleasure with others that includes anything up to and including intercourse.
Anyone have any other helpful definitions pages? I've got a couple more...I'll add them later.
-K_T
Habits tonight?? - We would love to dance - Bleh... the loud music makes it impossible to meet and talk to people... I will never understand the allure of the club scene. And even worse if you don't know if they're actually swingers or not.
How close is too close - - If you have problems in your marriage, swinging is not going to fix them. I think the excitment of swinging will, perhaps, camoflage them for a short time. But in the long run if there are problems the level of trust that is required to swing -- just will not be there.
But I wonder how our statistics compare to the general public? Are swinging couples getting divorced at a higher or lower rate? Comparing our swinging friends with our vanilla friends, the swingers seem far more happy with and into their mate.
The scenarios and issues raised by this question, happen in and out of swinging.
Remember the joke -- "my wife ran off with my best friend, and boy I am going to miss him". That is a vanilla life joke.
We all need to take care to respect the intimate relationship between other swinging couples. We should all expect others to respect our relationship with our spouse. But in the end, if you trust each other enough to swing successfully, then I think the other issues of life will prove to be fairly easy to handle together.
geting in LOVE while swinging - - Someone mentioned Polyamory. Poly people, at least in most communities, feel that swinging and poly are not compatible.. Fact is, why not? If you are open and honest about your poly leanings and totally honest with your mate and any relationships you may have... then why not poly as well. I know that several people in here and on other sites, swingers feel threatened if you are overtly open abut your feelings. If one truely loves and trusts their partner/SO/wives; husbands/girlfriends; bopyfriends and whatever other relationships that I may have missed, they should not be threatened. If you fall in love with someone that you have sex with.... you have 2 choices..... Tell that person and their spouse and your spouce and see where it goes or simply walk away with the thoughts and get on with your life. The 3rd option is not an option.... If one is poly...thier primary relationship/s take precedence.
It is my belief that poly and swinging are not only compatable but that it love happens when one least expects it and has to be handled. Even the vanilla schmuck sees or talks to others and sometimes form closer relationships but don't wish that to affect their perfect marriage. How is that handled? Sometimes it simply cools down or sometimes it ends in a short or long term relationship with or without sex. So as they used to say on the TV sitcom Carter Country....."Han.dl it Han..dl it" Remember the old sage who said "shit happens"
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