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weight approperate - - We have been in the lifestyle together for 10 years now and couples not being up front about just wanting to play with the wife alone has always been a problem with us. We let people know upfront we only play together.
Now on the weight subject...We advertise ourselves unashamedly about being a BBW/BHM couple. We also let people know if its Ken and Barbie they want they need to move on down to the next profile. We have played with HWP couples as well as with Big Beautiful Couples like ourselves. The HWP couples we have played with in the past have been amazed at our level of inhibition and sensuality. In short it was an eye opener for them...Big people can be very sexual.
One thing we have noticed is that lifestyle web sites, magazines and clubs seem to perpetuate the Barbie and Ken mystique. How often on a swinger web site have you seen a BBW, BHM of even a BBC on their front page? The same goes for magazines and advertising for clubs and lifestyle conventions and events. Even here on Swingular we have yet to see even a featured member that is a person or couple of size. In our humble opionion it's something swingers media needs to address.
Our whole take on the topic is this...If your mind is so closed that you can not see beyond exteriors then its your loss.
We started a Yahoo group called Big Beautiful Couples and Ladies a couple years ago with the idea that if membership grew large enough maybe organizing an event similar to Lifestyles or Hedonism II. Though the membership is small we still have the passion for the idea of a convention with Big Beautiful People as the primary attendees. We are still checking to see if there is a similar group here on Swingular and if not we'll be getting it rocking and rolling.
If we want people in the lifestyle to be more accepting of size (both women & men) we have to learn to be our own best advocates.
Have an erotic day
Howie & Susie
New Forum Rules - No Censorship, No Moderation, Just a Few Rules -
Rob,
Very good move. Most popular public forums on the web have moderators that keep it above the belt. I am a "levels of force" kinda person. I usually keep it in the "smack talk" region until someone pulls out the big guns and says something that totally insults me, my service to the country, my way of life etc. Then I think it's fair to defend myself. I was never one to tolerate bullies
Forum moderation is a good think as long as you are not dinged on everything you say. If done in moderation itself, I think it's key in a happy community. After all, not all of us will agree all of the time. Any good community has a police system in place.
Some of us do not hold themselves to a moral believe system (dogma). What it "proper etiquette" to some, may not be to others. We are a culturally & sexually diverse, multi-faceted, large gamut of unique individuals. Each of us even differ from our spouses/significant others (if that applies). Can you you say you never argue with your spouse? Can you say you have never said anything brash to anyone? Were you apologetic to those you did not like? I think most reasonable individuals would say yes to most of those and no to the last one. What is more likely, is that they chose to avoid contact with that person.
Everyone here has a choice to involve themselves in the conversations that happen here. For instance, if you were to post in a "GAY MARRIAGE" thread and post your opinion as to why an adult of clear mind and total consent, should not be allowed to enter into legal marriage with another adult of any sex, they so chose because of your own personal moral system. You are then adamant about holding to you view no matter how many time you are told that there is a seperation of church and state and that the "sanctity of marriage, between a man and a woman" is that of religious code and does not apply to the legal system, as it is unconstitutional. Yet you still wish to force your law on the rest of society because your upbringing told you that homosexuality is wrong and that marriage is not meant for gays. If this applies to you, then you are not reasonable and the only way I wish to deal with unreasonable people is to tell them to fuck off. I am saying you don't have the right to avoid homosexual marriage for youself? NO! I am saying you don't have the right to choose for others.
I guess what I am saying is that many of you don't want to hear anyone say anything that differs from your own little world, yet you are swingers. Many of you think one -way and don't want to hear something that turns your belief system on it's head. If you can not respect or tolerate diversity I have no respect for you. I will not respect your beliefs, rights or opinions if you will not afford everyone else the same. YOU REAP WHAT YOU SEW.
I vow, from hence forth, to do my best to be civil to everyone here. I expect the same from all of you. I can play nice with you, if you play nice with me. Remember, if you disrespect me, I will definetly return the courtesy :-) Thanks Rob. Thank you for proving that forum moderation can be a good thing.
-Don-
"Ich habe einen kleinen Vogel in meinem Kopf."
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Lifestyle after Death - What would you do? - If there were "TRUE" friends you damn right they would accept you if god forbid something happened to your wife/husband. We have a friend his wife died after having gastric bypass surgery. We all went to the funeral talk about solidarty but it was there for him,her family and their children. They were very strongly in the lifestyle and he is totally accepted by all us even if we don't chose to take a single man into our bedroom he was our friend when Christine was alive and he still is. We all get together about once a month have dinner go to a club just generally enjoy the company,and when I say we I speak about 2/3 of a yahoo group. I have come to find that friends within the lifestyle stick by you no matter what more so then friends who have known you long term. I believe its something about common ground we all share and the support network with the swingers lifestyle. Just my 2 cents *smile*
Becky and Jimmy
Looking for Advice - Recently coming back into the LS - [quote=Kinkycouple123]Hello!
So I just have a question.
We were in the LS about two years ago.. and since getting back into it, it seems like what we want is not as accepting ( or that we aren't actual swingers). We aren't a full swap couple and I feel like that hinders us from meeting new people and just getting out there.
While I enjoy watching my husband with other women, I have no desire to be with anyone other than my husband.
Is this weird? We have talked to a few couples who just question why were are in the LS at all. They have said that what we are looking for is a "tall order" or that "we aren't actual swingers" which I can understand to a point.. but isn't this site for people also looking to explore their sexuality in a safe place with no judgements?
I would love some feedback or advice if anyone else in a similar situation because at this point I don't feel welcome.
Thank You![/quote]
I think what you are "looking for" is not a surprise... you want a Unicorn... now, asking a couple to "loan" you their female half ( with nothing in return to the other male ) ... yeah, long shot on that for sure.
Good Luck in your search.
stop being so vanilla - - Most of our friends are in the lifestyle and those that are vanilla know about it. So when the vanilla men see an attractive girl, the suddenly return to infancy, drooling while hoping to see a glance of a boob and get to suck on it. Always pisses them off when they point out an attractive girl to me and I respond "ahh, I have better looking girlfriends then that." I have told them they are so vanilla and one guy thought it was a racial slur. Another told his brother what I say about being so vanilla and his brother told him it is a swingers term to refer to guys like you. After a bit of conversation the brothers learned the one I don`t know is in the lifestyle and the one I am friends with is very curious now.
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - Aquarius - yes that is exactly what I say... "Have more time? I just thought of a new position" :h . We also tend to cuddle after and bask in the glow. Gives us a moment to come up with something new to try. LOL
Do you Expect to get laid at Swinger Parties? - - Most of the time, no. Not everybody at a swingers party expects to have sex. But sometimes it depends on the party you go to. Off-premise parties like those thrown by Secret Desires www.secretdesires.org are a great way to meet others in the Lifestyle without the pressure of having sex. I'd recommend checking this out first, the next party is on the 10th of Feb.
Too Young? - Are we just too young... - I can tell you this for a fact - based on both our experience AND our attitude - there is a whole lot LESS drama and insecurity with older swingers than there is with younger ones.
Us "seasoned" folks aren't hung up on looks (ours OR theirs) the way those junior to us are.
If you read a profile, and it specifies some aspect of how potential applicants have to look in order to be considered viable candidates for play, there's a 99% chance the profile belongs to a younger couple.
Vanity, ego, hangups and elitism diminish with age.
And as 2THAT said above, if you've never been with an older couple, you don't know what you're missing.
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