Trimont Swingers in Minnesota

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I Have A Question - Poly vs. Open - Mr. and I have been in a committed poly relationship with another couple for 3 1/2 yrs. Both we and the other couple had been in the LS for 3-4 years before this. Our trajectories were different - Mr. and I were pretty bored with swinging. We had lots of fun adventures, but we both tend to crave more intimacy and I, in particular, don't find myself attracted to many men until I am intellectually attracted to them, and that generally takes more time and effort than the average swinger wants to put in. We had tried only dating unicorns for a year, and then went to more of an open style marriage (infrequent, but occasional hall passes. Sometimes with both members of the same couple, sometimes not). But even that wasn't as satisfying as I wanted and my interest in the LS was waning. That's when we stumbled upon our Others. We were at a vanilla swirl party (a few LS, mostly vanilla) and immediately picked them out as LS. What do you know, we clicked. I immediately was drawn to the husband, he to me, and our spouses soon felt the same. We began spending time together as a foursome pretty much from that day forward. Their trajectory was different than ours. They were classic swingers--meet at a party, click, arrange sex or fuck then and there. Sometimes these people became friends over time, sometimes not. They didn't crave the intimacy we did; they enjoyed the spontaneity, excitement and variety. Their relationship was never open. No hall passes, almost always straight partner swap with another couple, but occasionally they would mix that up at a party situation. So it's kind of surprising that they ended up down this road of polyamory. We just clicked and loved every minute with each other and really never have wanted to be apart. HOWEVER, we are all four still swingers in some way or another. It has become more apparent after the honeymoon phase has settled into a deeper, more real relationship. They occasionally still want that exciting fling. We do too, only less often as the stars REALLY have to align for me. Mr and I still occasionally like sex with a deeper connection. There have been moments when we resented their desire for casual sex. There have been moments when they resented our need for deeper connection. But in the end, like any LS couple, we were able to talk it through. And we were able to realize how all of us can be fulfilled and have our needs met. We just had to drop the jealousy and insecurity and really want to please the people we love.

Frustration with Friend Requests - - [quote=EVILDOERS]The underlying problem is the "we're swingers, you're swingers" mindset. We've been around the scene for a long time and met many many people who don't understand why we won't just fuck them...afterall, they're swingers and we're swingers...so let's just fuck already. This "hobby" is for fantasy fulfillment. If you aren't at least a little bit attracted to someone for any reason then what the hell is the point of fucking them? Especially when most of us can stay home and have WAY better sex with someone we love. [/quote] Well fucking said!

Other activities? - Do you only meet swingers for sex? - We absolutely do other things with our play friends. We\'ve gone to the movies, stayed in and watched movies, made dinner for each other, gone to the beach. Some of our out-of-town friends have stayed overnight at our house. As much as we do enjoy play time with our friends sometimes its not always possible to play so why not have some fun hanging out with them anyway? We prefer to play with people who we enjoy talking and spending time with. Much of the talking happens online through here, email or IM as we all seem to be pretty busy most of the time. We aren\'t into one night stands and prefer there to be more than just sex, so we do like to actually spend time with couples first to get a feel for who they are and how well we get along. We view it as if we can\'t feel comfortable having dinner at a restaurant with you or hanging out and talking with you for a little bit, we wouldn\'t feel comfortable getting into bed with you.

Added Profile Information - We need your feedback. - Have seen on other sites a computer match auto search that matches the top 10 or 20 profiles that match what you and the others are looking for. This could save a lot of needless looking into others profiles endlessly. Some dating services are set up in a simular manor and it does have its benefits. Also good to have a place for specific ages you are looking for, or others are looking for. That way us vintage stock swingers would not be viewed as trying to bother the younger generation that may view us as pasture ready.

hall passes - who all does it - Thanks Eros, as you agreed with me, our game has to improve. But just because we think we're enlightened and progressive because we're swingers, some of societies stereotypes still apply. Men are still men, and women are still women. In other words, pursuit is usually up to the male. Chauvinist as that may sound, it probably is more about genetics then anything else. How many species in the animal kingdom do you see, where the female aggressively looks for a male. It's almost always the reverse. So men, work your ass off in the gym, pay the 30 bucks for that that PDF manual on how to improve your game. (kidding of course about the last suggestion). What you may find is that it improves your own relationship with the wife or girlfriend. One thing I noticed, when I improve myself, it only enhances my own marriage and my other relationship. That's always a plus plus in my book!!!

Rude comments can stop members from sharing. - - Well kids if your going to post photos that can been seen by people from "U-Taw" to Katmandu then expect feedback both good and bad OR just send them to your friends and get a nice round of applause to get that warm and fuzzy or hairy feeling... what ever makes you happy. Personally we don't care for " close up photos" of either male or female organs, we love a good rare steak but I don't want to see a photo of it because that would NOT make me hungry. If a couple has those type photos in their personal photos the we won't be a match. (Call us Baptist Swingers) That being said many on this site like posting the ---biggest dick/cum on my large hooters (Both real and fake) Vaginas on parade.... etc. Quit your whining, spread it like the "Jaws of Life" and expect those that like it to give you THREE THUMBS up and a small group to give you the FINGER. (This is a forum)

Swingular Changing name to: - I think Swingular should change it's name to "Hateular" - We have seen some of the more negative posts. We have also made the mistake of stating our position on a subject and had some folks come down on us. It is nice to see that most of the folks on Swingular take exception to that behavior. As for single guys ......... Right time, right place, from time to time ........ we enjoy the company of a polite single male. Unless they whine about being a single male on a swingers site designed primarily for couples. It is simply a social expression of an economic law -- Supply and Demand. Within swinging the supply of single males far exceeds the demand. Thus their value within the world of swinging is greatly deminished. It is not my intention to demean any single male as an individual. As individuals each has their own worth. It is just that we are in the "business" of swinging here and business is business.

Observations from the other side of the room - Some unsolicited advice - [quote=EVILDOERS]All good advice. You should give seminars to the GAZILLIONS of single males who think female swingers are nymphomaniac, wanton sluts who will fuck anyone, any time, anywhere and that their husbands/partners are pathetic, impotent cucks who don't know how to please their partners and need a "real" man to satisfy their wives/girlfriends. You could make BANK teaching the utterly clueless how to act like a gentleman and do a service to the lifestyle by helping to weed out the twatwaffles who have no business even ATTEMPTING to enter a lifestyle they know nothing about and should leave immediately![/quote] That's a really good idea! I am no authority but I agree that Utah guys have a bad reputation. I have heard similar stories from friends on vanilla dating sites where the guy just wants a one night stand. I am glad that my post was read and responded to. I agree that my comments are common sense as well. Unfortunately, common sense isn't all that common. Any suggestions on what to name my seminar?

Favorite bars in utah - - Yes, I read the article. Our experience (getting close to 30 years in the swinging trenches) has shown that the authorities almost invariably use other (easier to prosecute) issues to shut down naughty things like swinging parties. Recently in Texas they're trying to use zoning ordinances and disturbing the peace and, believe it or not, parking ordinances. Quite often it's alcohol related. Not too many years ago with a local, fairly prominent swinger who held frequent parties in his upscale neighborhood they nailed him for providing alcohol to minors (apparently one girl at one of his parties was not yet 21). And I would ague that Las Vegas is anything but tolerant for swingers parties or really anything related to sex. They love to sell the idea of sex but when the rubber meets the road they are as intolerant as anywhere we've been. I don't remember the last hotel takeover we attended in Vegas where a topless pool wasn't promised and then shut down by the local authorities. Of course the big money hotels have absolutely no problem providing topless pools...if they can charge a hefty premium to do so. Vegas is all sizzle and no steak (in the vernacular of my grandfather).

Newbie Advice? - - [quote=EVILDOERS]Unless that's specifically the scene you are looking for and only want to play in you might want to seriously reconsider your screen name. A HUGE misconception among single males looking to play in the lifestyle is that most, or even many, married males are cucks looking for a bull to fuck their wives. While there certainly are some that are into that scene they are a very small minority of swingers. You might want to check out some cuck-specific websites or maybe even some Hotwife sites rather than swinger sites if that's your thing. [/quote] Thank you for the insight here, unfortunately I haven't come across any sites with such a strong presence as this one.