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Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - Posted By: XPLORR94248 Reply posted on:
Nov 10, 2007 - 12:11 pm
Poly people generally take issue with swinging as be strictly recreational SEX! and no love where as poly, supposedly, is love based not necessarily any sex....but sex usually is involved at some level. The attitude is that swinging is not a good thing that swinging is diametrically opposed to poly.
So while there are some similarities in swinging and poly in that more and more swingers are looking for relationships, i.e., "friends with benefits" ; "Friends in and out of the bedroom". These friendships are based on attraction and sex after the attraction. Poly people take the concept that poly is based on loving someone and if sex happens then OK, but that love is the key and sex is at best secondary.
I would say that swinging (full swap, soft swap) IS recreational sex. It ISN'T about falling in love with someone. That poly people would think swinging is bad because it is diametrically opposed to poly doesn't surprise me one bit. Kinda like me being a Grand Dragon of the KKK thinking that people who even can think of having a relationship with a black person are sick in the head. To a poly person, the only difference between them and a "normal" person is that they have more than one person with whom they have love in the relationship. "Normal" people also think spouse swapping is a bad idea too. Again, no surprise.
I would say that swinging and poly have only one similarity and that is that they are having sex with somebody that they are not legally married to and the spouse is fine with it. Beyond that, I don't see the similarities.
ADMIN: Survey Says - Site Updates for Priority - This really could be a great site, especially for Utah Swingers. Utah is so unique compared to other states, especially when it comes to situations like swinging. There are not many sites that you can go to where Mormons (exmormons really) and non-mormons get each other. For those religion suppressed people to go to and talk with others that understand them and the culture they live in...but there does seem to be less traffic on this site even compared to a year ago.
new to the scene - - Can you give more clarity on the type of advice you seek? This will help those that are sincere in their responses to give honest answers. There was a post not long ago about swingers and where to start. We will try to find and let you know about it and or put it on the front here when we find it.
swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - BTW reason i have not responded to some of u losers is some of us REAL people have job and friends
enjoy
have a good day
Go turn on Oprah - re:swingers - it's on right now, the first half of program is about cheating wives, but the second half is about swingers, She said her producers said it was the hardest show they ever had to do in 19 years. wow
LDS Swingers Survey - Will any former/active LDS swingers take my survey? - done
Meeting new swingers? - Where to meet them? - A few months ago we got together with 2 couples we had met on-line. We met in the parking lot of a mall local to us- we happened to live just about mid-way between the two other couples. After hugging and shaking hands and chatting a bit we agreed to have drinks and something to eat at a nearby restaurant where we all got to know each other. Things proceeded from there to another location where friskiness was the order of the evening;)
Place to Hang out and Play - Have an Idea - It surely seams that the number of swingers in Utah is LARGE. I have heard some thing before like, (Utah has the most subscriptions to sexy magazines per capita) and that the numbers of swingers in Utah is in the top 5 on the list. So with all those people how is it Utah is still so controlling of what the people want?
Here in Florida we have ON PREMISE clubs that are completely legal. Yes every now and then the news tries to gain a few points with the religious WRONG. For the most part if the club keeps it's nose clean everyone else stays out of it. We also have house parties and places called house parties that are 3 days a week every week. It's by invitation only and you BYO-drinks, a dish to pass and most donate to the cause. Keep in mind these are BY INVITATION ONLY... Meaning if you don't donate you may never be invited back. The owners DO live there and have regular bills sent to these homes. There are some that move around from hotel to hotel also. By invitation only...
About a year ago a house party was busted out in the sticks. A few people were harassed by the local news jerks. Since then that TV station has lost a large number of people watching them due to their ON CAMERA BS...
We are members of an ON PREMISE club in Port Richey, Fl. The police have been trying to find a reason to shut our doors a few times. 1st go around was people that lived in the vicinity. This brought on an investigation and the TV NEWS CREWS. They interviewed many of the homeowners and also the people in the stores below the club. Well the neighborhood wanted us out and the store owners wanted us to stay pointing out how clean and decent things have been since the BAR upstairs became a nice quiet swingers club. About 6 months or so ago the TV NEWS crews were at it again. This time the people in the neighborhood watch all around the club had said their crime rate had dropped like a rock. NO reports of anyone ever needing the police or an ambulance and no homeless people hanging around trying to sponge off people anymore either. Also no broken bottles in the parking lot. So now the locals are happy with us... Go figure...
Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - Being that we are in the older bracket, I would say that yes age can be a factor. It depends on the individuals involved, but many times people put upper limits on play partners and anyone over that age is a null factor. There are several women on this site over the age of 50 who may make some couples rethink their age limit or make an exception for them. Weare very active in the club scene here in NC and people know us and age doesn't seem to be much of a factor. I don't think that staying in ones own age bracket is the thing so much as the perception that older people are over the hill both in looks and performance. Just remember if you get too old to cut the mustard, you're never too old to lick the jar it came in.
Friends with out benefits? - Is it possible to find friends on here who dont want to fuck? - Actually this isn't that uncommon. We've been in the scene for a long time and have seen a lot of couples leave and then try to return and hang around the scene without actively participating because they like the thrill and excitement as well as hanging out with people who don't have a lot of hang ups and they don't have to censor themselves around. Unfortunately, in our experience, it hasn't seemed to work out too well in the long run. Not sure why, exactly. Maybe the real swingers don't want to hang out with people they can't potentially fuck or maybe the former swingers (or at least one of the couple) gets excited again and tempted to want to swing again or maybe it's some different reason altogether. Wish I could tell you how someone has made it work but it just doesn't seem sustainable. It's kind of like a motorcycle group I belong to. There was a guy who would show up at all of our meetings, hang out, talk about bikes, etc., but he didn't actually ride or even own a bike. Finally he stopped showing up because he found it harder and harder to engage the other guys in the group who actually ride. If you figure out a way to do it let me know. We still know a few couples who would love to hang out with swingers without actually swinging.
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