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We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - QUEENOFCRUNKXXX,
Your mistake was that you assumed that everyone was at the same level as you. That's not a stab, but an observation. One of the first mistakes we all make is assuming that because we are all "swingers", we are all seasoned veterans of the lifestyle and have ironed out all the wrinkles in our relationships as swingers.
It is unrealistic to expect everyone to be on the same page, all the time. I agree with you in that we should all strive to be open and communicate everything we can, to our significant other and the other couple, so that everyone knows where everyone stands with regard to swinger interaction. Does this always happen? No. My advice is don't be discouraged. All you can do is try again or move on.
Everyone is guilty of "DRAMA", including you and me, for that matter. More often than not, those that say "Drama Free" are those that are the biggest perpetrators and perpetuators of it. Just my opinion of course. Better luck next time.
-D-
Respect...Needed? or just forgotten. - - The various points that have been made are well taken.
We have been approached by people who are rude or crass. Typically it is a single male, often married pretending to be single or the de facto single male -- half of a vanilla couple pretending to be a swinging couple.
I have several observations:
This single male is far more likely to be a trial member.
They have little or no real knowledge of swinging and it shows.
They don\'t expect to be invited to join the couple or single female they approach.
They simply find a cheap thrill in the crass sexaulity of the rude note they send.
(I suspect they type them with one hand.)
If given the oportunity (which their approach itself precludes) they would not play.
Don\'t confuse them with the polite & respectful single males that are a part of swinging.
We jokingly refer to them as hard-ons. They think because they once had a hard on -- they are qualified to swing. My FAVORITES are the ones that will \"let you watch\" or \"don\'t mind if you joins in\" as if somehow by their offer alone -- Belinda becomes theirs.
You will see them at the clubs. Somehow they come up with the courage to go to a swingers club that allows single males. They are the males that hide in a corner too afraid to approach anyone or they are the males that come into the room with attitude written all over them -- as if saying \"I paid my fees -- who do I get to fuck\".
If he is found out, the male half of the vanilla couple will stamp and stammer and claim that either he has his wife\'s permission or that she is cold and he is not getting any at home. Given their approach to sex. I have figured out, at least in part, why they are not getting any at home.
I was raised by a very southern, very polite, Daughters of the Confederacy -- mother. Thus I had to endure the suffering born of numerous catillions or formal dances. Everyone knew everyone at the dances. Everyone knew that everyone was there to dance. But you went through the rituals of an introduction and small talk -- prior to dancing. While this analogy ignores the aspects of friendship that are a part of swinging. I have found that the manners I learned at my mothers knee have served me well in swinging. (Don\'t ya know that would shock the hell out of her!)
Rules to hooking up - - [quote=FUCKCHASTITY]Maybe we all ended up swingers because we don't play games. Sounds like everyone was as surprised by these revelations as we were. We are all here for the same thing, no need to dance around it.[/quote]
I for one, am grateful.... I'm too lazy to try translating code... It takes up time that would be better spent actually tasting new friends.
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - 70 cuda. 67 gto. 2009 challamger
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - Did this meet and greet already happen? I am looking for fun tonight. Newish to town and was in the ls prior to moving here.
Observations from the other side of the room - Some unsolicited advice - All good advice. You should give seminars to the GAZILLIONS of single males who think female swingers are nymphomaniac, wanton sluts who will fuck anyone, any time, anywhere and that their husbands/partners are pathetic, impotent cucks who don't know how to please their partners and need a "real" man to satisfy their wives/girlfriends. You could make BANK teaching the utterly clueless how to act like a gentleman and do a service to the lifestyle by helping to weed out the twatwaffles who have no business even ATTEMPTING to enter a lifestyle they know nothing about and should leave immediately!
Appropriate Parameters of Sexual Conduct in Modern Society - Should sex still have a unique status or just be another hobby? - Beard, You did open something up but I'm not sure what.
I had to copy and paste your original here so I didn't miss or get too confused..
One of your last points first: Moral refers to standards as defined by the church, the government or your neighbors(in light of the Supreme Court decission a few years ago about porn) Ethics, on the other hand are something that we define for ourselves based on our upbringing/environment and values that we have defined based on whatever we base them on.
You are right that marriage is a concept designed by religion and the government for the care of offspring and the clear definition of linage for property rights. You use the term marriage, which is a legal term like it is a moral imperative then ask if it should be based on some one or group of common interrests. Then the next breath you suggest that marriage is supposed to be more than any of that and something to do with sharing and intimacy. Finally you go back to somehow trying to make a point, (I'm not sure what that point was) that maybe there should be a conglomerate of reasons for marriage then with the nesxt breath you ask if sex should be forbidden..
Now lets see if this makes any sense to anyone. I'm poly and We swing. I have a lover who is married and her husband knows or us(he is not poly) and B knows of us and we are all good friends. We are, my lover and I, intimate both emotionally and sexually and both non poly mates knowof this. B and I are very much soulmates but then my lover is also very close to that as well. I do not wish to take her away from her husband and I do not wish to replace B. She does not want to replace her husband with me and we are alll OK with that arrangement.
In my heart of heart I am married to both in a very intimate way although I do not wish to procreate with anyone anymore. She feels the same way toward me. I would submit that marriage is an intimate, emotional and sometimes physical union of people.. I did not say two people I said people. We have been taught sex as a negative thing and relationships with more than one as a negative thing because we cannot love more than one person or more than one at any one time... I submit that we can love more than one and that the more we love the more we get back from that...
Swinging is started off as fun between close friends and sometimes the term wife swapping became a reality.... Sex is fun adn swinging is about sex and today alot of times about relationships. Relationships in my opinion are for the benefit of everyone involved... .
So I'm not sure if I understood where you were going but this is my take on the propositions as I understood them.
Depending on any person's opinion or preferences sex and love can be the same or they can be separate or they can be coincidental but it's basically up to that person or couple to make that determination....
We, in the lifestyle, may ultimately be right and marriage may change to a more contractual thing rather than some sacrosanct BS that it has become.... Swingers as a group have more than 3.4 time greater chance of remaining married than that of non swingers. The range of failed marriages is between 66 and 77% in all first and second marriages and some 70% of all married people cheat on their mates. Swinger have a better than 85% chance of marriage survival. Cheating is not exempt in Swinging but I think is is greatly reduced...
I think as swingers we have sex with friends and it can be just that or it can be more... at least for me..
Swingers - a couples only lifestyle? - Are singles considered to be swingers? - As our original post noted - we were interested in hearing what others thought. No single view is right or wrong - it's just up for discussion!
Mexico! Come with us!!! :) - Trying to put together a group of Swingers to go to Mexico with us! - Dude! if yall dont get any bites; yall should just go with our group "the hot tamales", to desire may 8-15 2010. we're taking over the whole dayum resort! http://home.comcast.net/~hottamalehosts/site/
Island Park - Snowmobiling - We have had a couple of people interested but no commitments. Its a quick cheap getaway for all you snowmobiler swingers out there. Let us know
Thanks Dave
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